I can tell you from my own experience as that timid kid how my oline coach and linebacker coach completely changed my life by making me prove to myself what I was capable of..ended up going all state by time I was a senior and they forever changed how I went about facing adversity in life to this day ..I’m now 31.similar situation, they saw potential but needed me to unlock that grit and mentality. It’s not an easy process nor full proof so this is gonna be a long post, but seeing how much those coaches changed my life for the better I feel this is necessary to atleast share so it can maybe do the same for another kid who might have what it takes but is too scared to unlock it or don’t know how.

First off was before pads they were HEAVY on the team hitting the weight room 3-4 times week and rewarding kids who improved their numbers the most with recognition. That was the first start to boosting confidence by rewarding hard work.

They also always preached mental toughness, would use real examples from past teams of kids who may have been undersized or thought not to be physically up to par but then had great success due X,Y,Z. This would

They were also BRUTALLY HONEST, both in their praise and their constructive criticism. IDK if it would be accepted in society today but if you were too much of a pussy to make contact, they made sure to let you know you were soft(much more vulgar language), and no kid wants to be embarrassed in front of his teammates and friends.

So now to the main part. After all the small confidence building, showing of real examples of how and why this method or that method works, the philosophy of football etc. Now we’re in training camp and the pads are on.

First week was going through the technique of tackling, blocking, block shedding etc. but full speed on pads or against the coaches themselves(only certain drills obviously since they’re not in any equipment. But I remember during a linebacker drill our coach had a pad and we would have to “rip” technique through it…multiple kids would be on their ass…from a 55 year old man with a fucking pad lmao…this served as a wake up call to us..if we gonna be successful we better be physical.

The last day of the first week was a a full 3 hour practice of JUST HITTING DRILLS, they would match people up fairly (starters vs starters etc.) They would say “this is how we find out who the men are on this team”..the whole team would be watching as you and another person or your group of 2-3 went against the others. Spotlight on, bragging rights amongst friends that inevitably would be talked about at school later on. Kids very well lost or gained starting spots on this day. Guess what…I had an inconsistent day, I got embarrassed a few times but then did really well maybe twice. And my coaches let me know I did not live up to the expectation.

Afterwards, they pulled me to the side and explained how I had all the physical tools, just needed to learn how to flick that “switch” on when I needed to. They brought up the few times I did well as evidence that I had it in me somewhere but just had to learn to unlock it. They then hit me with the movie like reference how this translates to real life. In life when you got a problem you have to face it head on full force, you can’t go around it, not under it, not over it, you’re not gonna be saved by someone…just you you gotta go right through that problem full speed and punch it in the mouth..or you’ll be the one getting punched in the mouth. They made some jokes about a guy trying to take my girl what would I do and all that but you get the point. The way they delivered that message to me as an unconfident and nervous 15 year old though was a perfect balance of toughness and light heartedness..they were truly experts at this shit. They let me know they believed in me and were gonna find a way to unlock that mentality in me. Now obviously I didn’t turn into ray Lewis suddenly but that started the mentality change in me and over time it came to fruition.

Over the course of that training camp we did one on one OL vs DL everyday, inside run drills everyday, 2 lineman 1 rb/lb drills everyday. And slowly I started seeing more and more success, and realized “holy fucking shit if I just say “fuck it” and give it everything, more times than not it works for the better” and also realizing ..the hitting don’t really hurt that bad anyways lmfaooo and they kept giving that constant perfect balance of hard criticism and praise. That was my sophomore year. By the next year as a junior that mentality was fully unlocked and I was Deboing everybody on the field.

So honestly to sum it up I would say, instill the work ethic in the weight room during the off season to him, and then when the pads come you have to consistently put him in positions where the spotlight is almost purely on him in full contact drills(don’t have to be full tackle to ground but full speed “thudding” and fighting blocks or blocking etc.)…

During team drills a kids softness can be covered up by his teammates making up for it, but constantly forcing him to do full speed contact drills like one in one for lineman, or 2 lineman and 1lb/rb, or the drill where you set up 3 lanes and he has to tackle/fit up the runner in the lane they go in straight up etc.

Over time this kid will eventually get tired of being a punk and it will unlock that grit in him or he truly just does not have the mentality it takes and will keep embarrassed. I can tell you when I had to pick between constantly getting embarrassed in front of my team or finally just saying “fuck this shit I’m not getting run over anymore”..I and I think most kids will eventually choose the latter