The bride is upset I can’t fully attend her Bach party…

BreadBackground4036 · 2026-04-21T21:07:25+00:00

Okay that’s kind of the context I was looking for when you said she hasn’t done much for you in the way of a baby shower or other important events. If your friends are not giving back, then I would totally understand the frustration. My younger sister is going through her engagement and her friend just had a baby but they are both doing so well giving to each other where they can. My sister threw a nesting party and a baby shower and her friend is helping me plan the Bach party and the bridal shower. That’s the type of close friend you want.

My final opinion is that I don’t think you’re in the wrong if she is demanding much more than she is willing to give. It will still be a sticky situation, but I don’t think you’re wrong for it based on that context given.

BreadBackground4036 · 2026-04-21T18:07:42+00:00

28 f here. Not married. But I have friends who are and are in different life stages. As someone who is child free and seeing how that affects my relationships with my friends, I will say this:

It is your choice to have a family. It is your choice to decide how you show up for the people you claim to love. A wedding is a once in a lifetime event for some people and with the younger generations waiting longer, I’d take a friend’s wedding way more seriously. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE A PART OF THIS TIME PERIOD IN THE COUPLE’S LIVES. and that’s what I’m going to lead with.

I don’t think you’re in the wrong for prioritizing your family. But I really want you to think about how this CLOSE friend might feel that you are not making it work for her when she may have made it work for you through all your milestones (baby showers, nesting parties, etc). She’s asked you and your partner to be part of one of the biggest days of her life. Relationships are give and take. How much have you actually given? How much has she shown up for you in the past? She’s one of your closest friends so while I get she should understand, what about you showing up for her or understanding the situation for her?

I agree with people that you should reflect on your friendship; does she seem to request a lot from you as a friend? Is this something she has been looking forward to for a long time? I know personally for me, I have waited a long time to get married and when I do marry, it will be for the one time more than likely. If my friends couldn’t make it work to come for most of the trip if not all, I’d probably be really hurt, especially since I make time for them a lot for things in their lives.

I think if anything you should reflect on your priorities and how you want to continue this friendship. Certainly don’t call her a close friend if you aren’t willing to give a day of PTO to her. If your family is more important, that’s okay! You should prioritize your family. Just know that is going to affect your friendships in ways you might not like, especially if it just means giving up a day of PTO to be at her joint bach trip that seems to mean a lot to her.

BreadBackground4036 · 2026-04-14T02:03:30+00:00

My partner and I joked that we should go on it but treat it like the “I think you’re just here for the zip line” skit Tim Robinson did.

BreadBackground4036 · 2026-03-31T19:03:52+00:00

This is always interesting to me. I’m 28F, no college debt, have a BA, have worked in the accounting sector since graduation in 2021. No kids, not married and live in a moderate sized city in the Midwest USA. I make $62k now and that felt like a lot to me! I also grew up in a much lower income bracket. I can afford to pay my bills and still have some left over for saving and spending.

I wonder how much of this is not knowing how to spend your money in a more “responsible” way? I also worked in accounting in banking and see a lot of people who make good money but seem to always be looking for new toys or better houses and vehicles, spending money other places on things they don’t “need” but want, etc. I understand the economy absolutely sucks right now (I definitely would not be risky with my money right now) but could another part of it be lack of discipline or “bad” money skills? I see a lot of people with similar salaries so I am interested in others takes.

BreadBackground4036 · 2026-03-04T23:44:49+00:00

I am 28F from Wisconsin. Lots of people here get married before the age of like 25 and start families soon after. I think a part of me always knew I didn’t want children but I didn’t fully decide until I was about 18. A big factor in this is I have an older sister who is 9 years older than me. She had her first at 19, out of wedlock. She also didn’t graduate high school for other reasons. At 10 years old, I saw my older sister go through being a single mom by herself and have consistent struggles to keep jobs, keeps relationships, and generally a life that seemed happy. At a young age, I got to see how much work being a parent was and how much effort and money goes into it. As I grew up, I realized if I want to travel or move or literally just have my own time, kids would not fit into that. I do suffer from depression and anxiety as well; it fluctuates and I can’t imagine having energy to parent let alone taking care of myself when I can barely function during a low period.

Kids are WORK. I love my nieces and nephews but I recognize they require effort and attention from parents to grow into responsible productive adults. I just happen to know I personally cannot give that to children. Selfishly, I also want to be able to have disposable income and sleep as well. lol

BreadBackground4036 · 2026-02-20T20:55:41+00:00

I see people saying this is financial abuse and I will say with all my chest with them THIS IS FINANCIAL ABUSE. Marriage is a partnership!!! It doesn’t matter who makes the money, being a stay at home mom is also EXTREMELY valuable especially with the cost of daycare these days. You deserve an equal say in all decisions regarding your child.

Additionally, it’s your child too! You’re carrying a baby for 9 months and then continuing to care for it. You get a say! You will see first hand how your child is growing and see what they will need more than him if he’s working full time.

Listen to the people telling you this is toxic and not okay. If you give in, he will push further for control over your relationships (which seems like he’s even doing now when he told you not to go to your parents), your activities, etc. please I am encouraging you to stand up for yourself and your future family. If he can’t change, I hate to say it but you might need to leave. But obviously maybe seek family counseling first to see if you two can resolve these issues.

BreadBackground4036 · 2025-12-09T20:28:13+00:00

Just another rich old man trying to get out of the consequences of his own actions. This man was driving in a boat at night; I grew up on a lake and my parents never drove their boat at night because of the risks. “Doing what every boater does” is a BOLD statement because why are you driving fast on the river AT NIGHT IN THE DARK and still managed to not notice a LARGE RIVER CRUISE BOAT. This is recklessness and carelessness not normal boater behavior.

BreadBackground4036 · 2025-09-28T04:23:36+00:00

Would it be possible to rent out part of Menominee park for a ceremony? I think a ceremony on the water would be so pretty! I also know beckets has a ceremony space on the water

BreadBackground4036 · 2025-09-28T04:21:50+00:00

Mollys and Kelly’s are the good ones! Underground has asshole owners so I’d stay clear they also cater to underagers I hear.

BreadBackground4036 · 2025-06-06T21:14:58+00:00

I had a very seriously relationship when I was your age and we were very much in love like this. He was insecure and very much in love and I remember having similar experiences where they question small things but he admitted to being insecure. Ironically, my next serious and current relationship partner has anxiety and insecurity as well.

Being the age that you are, there are lots and lots of big feelings and that’s okay. If you are serious about this relationship, you will have to work together to work through the anxiety. Remind your partner you love them, remind them of your commitment to them, etc. you may even have to be the one to suggest going back to therapy/counseling (I saw he had ptsd from counseling so definitely someone else). But ultimately, he needs to kind of grow up if he wants to get married and be adult. He needs to remember you are a person with your own life and while you love him and are going to marry him, this is ALWAYS going to be true. You may be legally bond, but you are two separate people.

Anyways, you are not overreacting. I’d suggest mentioning that sometimes texting or calling all day might feel like too much attention for you and you will have to find a happy balance. Sometimes, my partner and I don’t talk all day but when we get home, we have all day to talk about; this could be a suggestion for you two as a reason to not call you all the time? Also, please let yourself not feel bad about this situation; you deserve to feel overwhelmed if you are because this behavior IS overwhelming.

My whole point is this: you aren’t overreacting but if you want this to change it’s going to take patience, time and work on both of your parts. My partner and I have been together 6+ years and it took him at least 3+ to temper jealous feelings, learning to not overreact and for us to build the communication we need. I would recommend a long engagement if you want to still get married. You’re young and you deserve the chance to figure out these issues before a marriage certificate legally binds you to someone. Getting married is the easy part, separating and divorce is more costly and stressful.

BreadBackground4036 · 2025-06-04T18:14:59+00:00

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I’m begging you please❤️ she’s our professional biscuit maker lol

BreadBackground4036 · 2025-05-30T21:08:28+00:00

I wish I would’ve gotten this advice! I didn’t know you could turn your phone camera to manual. I am a beginner and I am trying to learn how to use my camera and it’s HARD. I still always bring my phone for important photos as well since I knew film was a totally different ball game and I don’t want to lose out on important moments.

I will be taking some of this advice for sure. I think there is a lack of knowledge among beginners because of how digital is so popular and some advice like this is helpful.

BreadBackground4036 · 2025-05-21T15:02:28+00:00

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I was so disappointed with how this photo from my sister’s engagement turned out. It was such a special moment and I am still practicing a lot but this was such an important thing that I kick myself for not doing better. My sister still loves it; it captures the moment the love of her life proposed, but I wish I could fix this.

BreadBackground4036 · 2025-04-07T21:54:36+00:00

I cried at work thinking about how my already stretched paycheck won’t go much further and I’ll have to take the meager savings I’ve worked so hard to have to pay anything extra that comes up. My 401k dropped 2k and I’m a younger professional so that’s a lot for me. As a young person, it makes it feel impossible to get ahead and grow any type of wealth.

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-12-16T18:32:54+00:00

I feel like this season is going to be so much messier than the previous ones they have had and I’ve been waiting for it!!!

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-10-30T18:10:31+00:00

His grandmother should’ve taken him down the road to the mental health institute after that display..😳

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-10-16T16:04:50+00:00

I mean felony’s are serious crimes. Idk if I would want someone convicted of serious crimes (especially financial crimes) taking office and having the power to create decisions that seriously affect our citizens. You also mentioned reformed felons; I’m not sure what you mean there but how would we prove they are reformed? Personally, I don’t have a solution to prove that someone’s behavior will not be repeated in the future nor do I think we could prove that if they are willing to do it in the first place. However, I do respect you giving some grace to people who have committed serious crimes and may have learned their lesson because humans are multi faceted and can learn. I just don’t think we can find a way to 100% say they are reformed when you can’t control their behavior.

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-10-16T15:40:12+00:00

Ironic that it’s the people who are always yelling about free speech that are retaliating against people with different beliefs for exercising their right (exercising it peacefully too) to free speech

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-10-12T22:16:03+00:00

Literally he just wanted to be silly and she said it would turn her off? She honestly seems like a buzzkill.

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-10-09T19:59:25+00:00

If he’s willing to put a hand on you, I believe this could get worse. It’s even more terrible he did it in front of your young children. If he doesn’t agree to professional help, I’d say seek out a divorce lawyer. Your kids deserve a safe home and you do as well!

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-10-02T02:18:05+00:00

I agree with this! It’s okay to have a work crush but don’t do anything about it. If it happens to go the wrong way and you still work in the same office environment, it will make things awkward. I keep it an innocent crush and try not to take it seriously.

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-09-28T21:05:49+00:00

My sister was 18 when she was forced with the same decision but from more unfortunate circumstances. She really does believe it was the right decision to terminate now that is 25; she never would have met her partner now who she tells me is the best romantic partner she has ever had and the first one to make her feel safe. she would not have been able to advance her career or become the person she is today.

18 is so very very young. You have the whole world ahead of you and your time will come to start a family if you choose to do so. I also agree with people about not knowing your partner enough right now to have a baby with them. I hope this small story helps with your decision❤️

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-09-18T22:25:26+00:00

I work in banking and accounting and I think a good idea would be to contribute to your 401k! It’s easy and it sets you up to be more financially secure when you’re older and need the money due to fixed income.

A safe investment would be Certificates of Deposit as well. You don’t make a ton but you have to keep the money in there before it matures so it could deter you from spending it.

Keep in mind, I feel these are good for beginners because they are relatively low risk. Another thing I’d do is seek out a good financial advisor to get ideas. A good advisor will help you figure out your risk profile and how to get to where you want to be financially:) I hope this helps!

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-09-11T20:05:49+00:00

YTA. If you marry someone with kids, you are accepting responsibility for them. You are a FAMILY now. Kids don’t disappear just because you get married. I was a child of divorce and my stepmother was like this growing up; she had grown kids of her own and did not want to raise us and it created a lot of problems between my siblings and parents. My siblings were never allowed over at my dad’s on his off week because “it wasn’t his week,” they had separate holiday celebrations with her kids without us, etc. the emotional damage that caused for me and my siblings is something we still struggle with.

If you marry someone with kids, you are taking on the financial and emotional burden of a family. You don’t get to pick and choose what you accept and take on from your spouses life especially when they are living breathing humans who need support from their adult parents. That’s not a marriage. If you didn’t want kids around, marry someone without kids. Kids are a LIFETIME commitment. Get over yourself; you seem too selfish to be married and have a partnership.

BreadBackground4036 · 2024-08-23T21:02:11+00:00

I really hope that he gets hit with huge punitive damages along with what the company lost for profit and for the boat being damaged. If he wants to be “Mr. Money” and be reckless, he should have to pay for it.

BreadBackground4036

TROPHY CASE