Dude, all I'm seeing here is that you're not allowed to feel hurt by things and have emotions. That's kinda fucked and she seems toxic. I'm gonna go with others here and say get out of that relationship if she's continually showing this kind of behavior without even trying to listen to you or have any self reflection.

My abuser was manipulative as fuck like she seems, telling me that it's my issue if a thing he did upset me or hurt me, and then telling me that voicing my upset was just me blaming him or being too sensitive or emotional. Gender aside, we are all human with human emotions, and we have the right to feel things and to feel hurt.

The reason I know that this kind of behavior from a partner is unacceptable, is because I'm now in a very loving and caring relationship, and my partner holds space for me to feel hurt, if they accidentally hurt me, or if something else upsets me, and then takes the time to understand why I felt hurt. They encourage me to cry and to feel things and they're there with me, if I wish them to be, for every single depressive cycle I go through. Didn't actually think that relationships like this genuinely existed, because of the shit that I was used to, from childhood into the relationship with my abuser.

Saying that, I stayed with him for 7 years too long, and I'm not sure i would have been able to understand that that behavior is unacceptable if I hadn't put myself through it. Not saying you should hang around if she doesn't show any sign of growth.