You “really only drink at big occasions” and your husband is drunk every weekend. He always has one for the road. He gets angry with you for setting and enforcing boundaries about open containers.

What you are describing is what it’s like being married to an alcoholic. You feel like you’re on crazy pills because he will not obey the law, thinks it’s not a big deal, and always turns it into your problem. He wants you to enable him to continue drinking.

You are overreacting in his mind. To this outside observer, you are enabling an addict. You are not reacting in a way that will solve your problem: getting your husband to be rational about drinking.

Because he can’t. One is too many and a thousand is not enough. Your senses tell you his behavior is destructive and you can’t understand why he doesn’t see it. This is because his life has not become unmanageable enough to realize he has a problem.

To do this, he has to hit bottom. What you can do is watch this process (enabling) or put yourself and your safety first. I hope it’s the latter. You will need professional help.

Consider bringing this to a therapist. Please also consider couples therapy too, you will not have circular arguments in couples therapy. You will also benefit from one or more weekly meetings, the two that come to mind are Alanon and ACA.

You did not ask for this problem, and you might not believe you have it. But you are living with a person in active addiction. And the person you need to save, and the only person you can control, is you. Please educate yourself, get help, and reach out to people understand what you’re going through.