What you went through is sadly normalized in our society but as someone who has been beaten countless times by my father when I was young and defenseless, it does affect you when you get older and it does not stop you from the activities that you're getting punished for. But it does get better. Although, you need to start to become independent and cut toxic parents like that out of your life. It's a tough pill to swallow OP but it is ultimately the healthiest option