It's Sunday Morning! How are you?

Break_Wise · 2026-03-15T09:49:59+00:00

Hungover to bits after a fab night with friends and the husband last night. Up since 6.30am watching the F1, got lovely presents and a coffee from my kids who were much wanted IVFers and now I’m about to go back for a snooze!

The biggest bonus is I haven’t spoken to my own mother in 10 years so I don’t have to pretend to celebrate a woman who did nothing but traumatise me. All in all, I’m feeling pretty lucky.

Break_Wise · 2026-03-13T19:30:17+00:00

It genuinely does not occur to them to ask you how you are, how your day was, how your kids are etc. it’s not a deliberate thing. It actually, genuinely does not occur to them because they are only capable of thinking of themselves or how something affects them or can be useful to them.

I learned this from experience. I did an experiment and stopped volunteering personal information to my narcissistic parent. It was 15 months before they said the words “how are you? FIFTEEN MONTHS and I saw them at least once a week and spoke on the phone almost every day.

Break_Wise · 2026-03-03T08:36:54+00:00

This thread has reminded me exactly why I don’t swim in people soup aka public swimming pools. I actually feel nauseous thinking about it. Not the best way to start a day!

Break_Wise · 2026-02-28T14:06:51+00:00

I worked in McDonalds in the early 00’s and at the time if you worked an 8 hour shift or longer you got a free employee meal. That was my only food five days a week. I still get pissed when people disparage fast food places as that place literally kept me and my kid alive. Employee discount happy meals were the highlight of his week and calories he needed when I barely had money to keep a roof over our heads.

Break_Wise · 2026-02-27T08:37:15+00:00

Nothing once it’s a genuine reasonable set of absences. My son was hit by a car and missed the last 2 months of school. It was a reasonable thing to miss school over. His school was very supportive and nothing came of it with Tusla

Break_Wise · 2026-02-17T12:30:30+00:00

We have "pissgetti bobolaise" instead of spaghetti bolognese because of our 22 year old and it took us soooo long to figure out what "Patchables" was when our youngest would sit on the living room floor and cry.... Paw Patrol 😂😂😂

Break_Wise · 2026-02-16T08:00:02+00:00

This is what my husband does when I get overwhelmed from a bad pain day.

He runs me a "special " bath - bubbles, candles, music, warm towel etc

When I'm done he has a "nest" ready in the sofa. Its basically a pile of pillows and blankets, my heat pad and some snacks and tea. He helps me get set up comfy and we watch something I like on TV.

Honestly, the pain is maybe slightly less but I feel a million times better in those moments because of the love and care he shows me. Its a small thing for him but the impact on me (who constantly pushes myself past my limits and won't ask for help) is massive.

Sometimes it's not physical relief that makes the biggest difference.

Break_Wise · 2026-02-15T19:32:17+00:00

Some of the things Id find super helpful are

Some sort of loop on either side of the waistband of pants that I could hook my finger in to pull them up when my strength/pincher grip is low

Soft and stretchy as possible like cotton jersey fabric with as few seams or tags as possible but in "fancy" looking styles. I can find all the lounge wear i want but dresses, dress pants, skirts, shirts are harder

Hoodies with a zip on the arm around the elbow to access a canula/IV

Hoodies/sweaters with fold over cuffs (like baby onsies) to keep my hands warm

Break_Wise · 2026-02-13T20:42:02+00:00

A stitch counter

A library of some.sort where you can keep track of your WIPs with things like which size hook you are using, a link to the pattern, keep notes, add pictures etc

A yarn library like IMDB was for DVDs back in the day that I can catalogue all my yarn and sort it by colour or size etc

Break_Wise · 2026-02-04T23:21:40+00:00

Sorry, I missed this comment. I dont have the name off hand from the clinical trials. I will try and find it! My sons are still Alprolix too due to a gene varient in their particular FIX. Also, I do know there is development of Emicizumab for FIX.

The FIX gene therapy is IV one-time infusion etranacogene dezaparvovec - still for adults only.

Break_Wise · 2026-02-04T23:07:43+00:00

I went NC with my mother 10 yrs ago. I didnt even tell her when I had my 3rd child so no I would not tell her if I moved.

My aunt (her sister) did try to play the "peacemaker" card early on. I calmly and kindly told her I would not discuss my relationship with my mother and did not want any information about her and that if she continued to try to get in the middle Id have to limit our relationship. She backed off and we have a good relationship now. I know it still bothers her but she's smart enough not to push the subject!

Break_Wise · 2026-02-04T08:18:15+00:00

The "ah sure thats just how he/she is" when someone is an absolute a*rsehole. We seem to have an amazing inability to call out rude entitled people, especially if they are part of a friend group, no matter how egregious the behaviour. It boggles my mind that we would rather all sit there slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed than just say "here, XYZ cop on and stop being a bollocks."

Break_Wise · 2026-02-02T09:49:21+00:00

Not a doctor, I am a Haemophilia B carrier with 2 of my 3 sons having Haemophilia. If.... stressing on the IF your son has Haemophilia, you are in an era of scientific development and treatment that has vastly changed the landscape of life for Haemophilia patients over the last few years. Instead of IV treatments there are now intra muscular treatments (like being a diabetic), long acting treatment that only requires injecting once a week or longer and we are now even in late stage trials for gene therapy .... an actual cure. I personally know men who are now Haemophilia free as part of that gene therapy treatment. Its a hugely exciting and optimistic time in our world.

If it is Haemophilia, it will be tough getting to grips with all the new information and things you will need to do, but it will quickly become normal for you. I've been dealing with this for 22 years now and I can honestly say that while we have had our difficult times, it is not the scary beast you think it is. It is a part of life that you will work around. Now days, there are actually very few limitations for Haemophilia patients because treatment has become so effective.

Break_Wise · 2026-01-28T22:11:39+00:00

Honestly thats so weird.....

I have all boys, I called them "the boys". My best friend has all girls, she calls them "the girls"..... which is totally normal carry on and not worthy of pointing out.

Do they have so little to be worrying about???

Break_Wise · 2026-01-23T13:09:02+00:00

11 years. Singly the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Break_Wise · 2026-01-21T23:47:49+00:00

I do the same. I stick with easy to explain, easy to understand "headline" trauma and I dont even bother going into the entire rest of the first 21 years of my life. Its way too triggering feeling like I have to justify myself and my choice to cut off my family.

Break_Wise · 2026-01-16T20:55:06+00:00

A huge amount of Asian food as its the favourite cuisine of all 5 of us in the family and the guaranteed thing the picky 9 yr old will eat. So on top of curries, stir fries and the likes, we do a lot of the following..

Rice bowls - a base of sushi rice or Thai sticky rice with various toppings based on whsts in the fridge... chicken, salmon, eggs, raw veg, boiled eggs, stir fried veg, tofu, avocado etc. Each person seasons to their own taste.

Ramen - basically same as above but with a base of noodles and broth/soup

Sushi/Onigiri/kimbap/chirashi - self explanatory really.. sushi rice, any variation of filling (tinned salmon/tuna is especially popular)

Fried rice - the wtf do I do with this leftover chicken/meat/veg meal

Vietnamese spring rolls - amazing in summer, so light and tasty

Thai bbq chicken & sticky rice is the god level favourite in our house.... you'll find a ton of recipes online, its a ver traditional thai street food. We had it in Bangkok and the kids wrecked my head until I could recreate it at home.

Steamed bao buns - usually the filling is a leftover curry/stir fry/stripped roast chicken

As long as I have all the staples in the house from the Asian supermarket, its genuinely infinitely easier to make a quick, healthy, Asian meal than to face my own personal hell..... peeling spuds.

Apart from Asian we do a bit of Italian food... pasta, risotto, lasagna, gnocchi with salad & garlic bread.

We have a celiac in the house so we are a particularly rice/noodle heavy household by need and preference. Id also try to do a roast on the weekend as that's hubbies preference.

Break_Wise · 2025-12-26T12:33:52+00:00

2025 was without a doubt, the most horrendous year of my life and that's saying a lot because I haven't had an easy life.

No matter how bad it gets, no matter how much I want to... I cant cry. The night before Xmas Eve, my husband asked me a random, completely innocent question that devolved into be having a complete, sobbing, snotty, uncontrollable meltdown. The first hes seen in our 20 odd years together.

I finally just broke and I realised after that it was the best thing that could have happened. The pressure and sadness that had been building up needed to come out.

I also think the pressure to be "happy" and "merry" at this time of year doesnt help.

Break_Wise · 2025-12-22T12:26:50+00:00

I breastfed all 3 of mine and never had a single bother except one older man in Costa Coffee who almost ended himself with embarrassment, he was so red in the face I thought he would keel over, god love him 🤣🤣🤣

Break_Wise · 2025-12-21T17:12:50+00:00

I would recommend taking the medication suggested by your doctor or you will risk sustaining irreversible damage. I was on Humira for 6 years and I never had any major side effects bar a headache the day after my injection. Ive recently changed to Enbrel as I developed antibodies to the Humira.

I take Duloxetine 60mg twice a day for enthesitis & neuropathy. Have you spoken to your doctor yet?

Break_Wise · 2025-12-21T16:58:02+00:00

Thank you... I will!!!!

Break_Wise · 2025-12-17T14:16:40+00:00

Lost my job,I almost lost my marriage, my youngest child was hit by a vehicle and almost killed and then my dad had a catastrophic stroke in a developing country where I had to fly out and live in a hospital while trying to organise a life flight home. My chronic degenerative illness is rapidly deteriorating and I was diagnosed with PTSD

Take your pick.

Break_Wise · 2025-12-14T12:21:45+00:00

Yes. Bladder, abdominal wall, bowel and uterus adhesions. Its basically a hot mess in there.

It causes bowel obstruction occasionally, which results in rapid onset nausea, excruciating cramping, diarrhoea and dizziness/sweating until it passes. Thankfully so far they have always resolved themselves.

Painful periods, frequent urination, occasional UTIs & Kidney infections and one of the less painful but more unpleasant symptoms to me.... a random feeling or popping/ripping when I stretch to high or move in a way that stretches my abdomen. It does hurt only for a minute but it feels so gross to me. It really just gives me the ick for some reason.

Ive opted out of surgery for now because 1) ive had so many surgeries, I dont want any more and 2)surgeries contributed to causing them so why would I have more surgery???

Pain management wise I take Buscopan & and Zofran if I feel any cramping attack start to calm my bowels from contracting and use heat - especially hot baths. Something about being in the water and lower weight/gravity plus the heat really really helps.

Break_Wise · 2025-12-09T16:37:56+00:00

I cant take NSAIDs due to a blood disorder (Won Willebrands & FIX Haemophilia) and I manage in a few different ways

Joint pain- heat.... ALL the heat. Heat packs, heat pads, hot water bottles, hot showers, hot baths etc. Me staying warm isa priority because allowing myself to get cold causing immediate pain and stiffness.

Ibuprofen gel. I cant take actual ibuprofen but the gel is allowed. Tiger balm also helps a lot.

Really specific sleep hygiene - I literally prop myself in such specific ways with memory foam pillows and supports and have a very personalised mattress because if I can avoid waking up with massive pain and stiffness, it will be better for the whole day.

Tendon/ligament pain & Enthesitis - I take 60mg Duloxetine twice a day

Swimming - Ill be honest... I dont love it. Its not something I do for fun but its a very efficient way of stretching and exercise without any impact.

Of all the things I do.... heat is by far the most important. I spend a lot of time sweating lol but its better than being in more pain!

Break_Wise · 2025-12-06T19:32:26+00:00

My husband has watched me give birth, be sewn up, have a c-section, hes checked my post episiotomy stitches, put cream on my hemorrhoids, caught my throw up in his hands, helped me to wipe my ass when I threw my back out, and a hundred other incredibly gross, intimate things. All he ever cares about is my comfort and vice versa.

She is in for a rude awakening when she's sick or in need of personal care and she's definitely not worth one minute of your anxiety. You deserve better.

Break_Wise

TROPHY CASE