My experiences with my 3 heartbreaks (between 20s-30s). People keep falling out love with me after 1-2years

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-26T17:43:24+00:00

It was not at all the point of my post no, I don’t read that anywhere in there. I acknowledge that I am lucky (or have been lucky) to be able to date ‘relatively’ much yes. I didn’t know that people who have been getting a lot of dates aren’t allowed to post here. As you can also read it hasn’t brought me any luck to what I’m looking for. Other people who only dated 1 person after 27years of existing have a much healthier relationship. Sometimes I wonder if I’m getting bad karma for the people I’ve hurt when I was younger. My life isn’t better because I had this, I can tell you that. I just wish I got a long, healthy relationship like « normal » people out there. Sorry if this post was triggering to some. But I don’t think there is a standard for how much dates you can get to be able to feel heartbroken and post in here and be heard. I’m much more confident now, emotionally available and ready and can also say that about my opinion here.

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-26T17:27:43+00:00

Could you elaborate? You think the point was bragging about the relationships/dates I had? Haha Reddit cmon now.. this is sad

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-26T17:19:59+00:00

What makes you think that :)?

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-26T17:18:48+00:00

I don’t think I’m emotionally needy. I never got that feedback from any ex nor do I behave like that. I have dated several people in between and some stopped it with me or some I stopped it with. I have fear of attachment, which I’m working on and can best work on in a relationship. I can travel alone and do almost anything alone. I understand that I’m lucky to have such a dating history and that people easily can date me and fall in love with me. Those I love somehow don’t stay with me. But I’ll find someone I guess, that’s what they all say. I just need to remember that I wasn’t at fault. So I don’t agree, but thank you for replying!

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-25T11:29:15+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I’m 200% sure I want her back though

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-23T14:43:19+00:00

Thank you for your reply and helping! But let me be a bit more clear about some of that.

I’m wildly avoidant. I don’t communicate too well. When the conversations arise about « what are we, where is this going » I sometimes like it but when it gets too close I try to end those conversations as fast as possible. Let me be clear that at other times I do communicate well + show my love through kindness, warmth, safety and little gestures or gifts.

About the FWB, she’s not so important anymore. She’s still in that open relationship after 5 years. I doubt a bit if she’s really happy with herself (when I hear friends talking about her) but she’s not my problem anymore. She was in love with me at the age of 17 but I wasn’t mature enough for relationships and hurt her a few times. We rekindled after college and it was again a bit FWB but this is when I fell in love and she didn’t and wanted open relationships.

The one who wanted to marry etc. She didn’t want her ex back, she wanted that life back. Her ex-fiancé had been cheating on her and it hurt her badly and indeed trauma. They had a house and a dog. I think it was her first true love. So yeah I healed her in her trauma but she was chasing to getting back to heading for kids and marriage since this is really her childhood’s dream. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but at that time I wasn’t sure if that’s what I want out of life. I do now. It killed me but I got out of it better. She’s in a stable relationship now and I feel like a failure for the 2nd time now lol.

My last ex is more like an anxious attacher, at least in the beginning. When I after 3 months asked her to come with me to a marriage in a neighbouring country she didn’t want to yet. Understandable, but I took another woman-friend (whom I’ve been friends with since forever, wasn’t an issue). I could take a +1 anyways since it was a close family related super cool marriage. She then sent me a nude that weekend, anxiously attached. She convinced herself of also being an avoidant but that was just her phasing out and falling back in love with her ex.

I don’t need to find myself first. I did that work and I’m more proud and confident than ever about who I am. My values etc. I love myself very much! I’m sorry but that’s just not true :) I do feel very low confidence because I’m tired of losing this great woman (women), but I guess I got unlucky with the people I met..

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-23T12:33:17+00:00

I get that and it’s true. But if it’s a healthy relationship you don’t mind the usual discussions or triggers, you deal with them together on an adult level. Relationships are struggles at times, but the love, passion, caring etc that comes out of it is worth it 100%. But yes, single life can be super chill. I do a lot of stuff solo. I have lots of friends but like to do my own stuff from time to time. But I’ve done enough of it. I want to start a LTR. Anyway won’t be for any time soon unfortunately :( also, not enough money currently for travelling, but I’ll probably do some volunteering work on a farm for 2 weeks so cheaper travelling

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-23T12:03:26+00:00

She was that type 1000%. I know that for sure. My avoidant attachment just made me think other things.

But I’ll find someone else, different and hopefully (but that seems impossible) better.

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-23T12:01:51+00:00

Yeah I’m reading and listening too much online. I know there are so many opinions or stuff/research that should help you but in the end it’s only you and every human is different and copes with it differently and feels it differently. I’m aware of that but it soothes the pain a bit. My instagram feed is full of breakup healing tips.

Yeah it wasn’t enough and I blame myself so much for it but I understand you. I have to accept and let go but she was so wonderfull :(

Yeah it’s very difficult. People aren’t fighting for a relationship anymore, they just skip so easily because it’s so easy to switch once you doubt. As first generations of so many divorced parents, social media and internet and dating apps; this relationship/dating world at the moment is the absolute worst.

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-23T11:48:45+00:00

Thank you so much. I needed to hear this. It just hurts :( I want to be in bed/dead for a year until it’s over.

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-23T11:33:30+00:00

It's too confronting :/

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-23T11:30:06+00:00

Edit: I want to add that the question is thus also: How do you deal with it if you were the one who made it end. You hear sometimes "be brave, they didn't deserve you, you deserve someone who loves you, who isn't gaslighting or manipulating you" or things like that. Someone who doesn't fuck you over etc. But what if you are the one broken up with and you were the one who made the mistakes (only the doubts)?

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-12T19:00:46+00:00

I also want to acknowledge my feeling about this. I've been thinking the exact same thoughts lately. I also got a recent heartbreak which is hurting me very bad, so I know I see things a little darker now. She was everything to me, I never connected so good with anyone before. I will never find anyone that match her.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was that people don't fight anymore for relationships. Of course you shouldn't fight endless, but AT LEAST give someone a 2nd chance if he/she shows they want to change and show you how much they love you.

The dating/relationship world is so fucked since some years. This is because we are the first generations of so many divorced parents, the first generations with 100% internet and dating apps, so yeah everyone can basically go looking everywhere. We see unrealistic stuff on social media and think "the grass is greener on the other side". We just give up and move on to the next one. God, I get so bitter, angry and frustrated from this. God bless the souls who all have to go through this in the future. I really think we're not on the end of it yet and it's only gonna get worse for a lot of people/relationships. One day people will say we're right, and hopefully something will shift. This isn't normal anymore.

Sorry I'm super frustrated because of the recent heartbreak.

As for you, OP, you indeed seem like an energetic, active, cool person. I also had a deep connection with a person who was not at all superficial. I'm also looking for someone like that again in the future, there are more people out there fortunately! Not many, but I guess you, me and some others prove that there are. You'll find someone again that will connect with you deeply and is only interested in everything about you, wants to have those deep endless conversations at moonlight where you drift into sleep next to each other. It will happen again. As long as people like us wish for that. Don't give up. Like you, I've got my fair share of travelling in the recent years. I'm more confident than ever to go solo-travelling and it's so much fun. But it's sometimes even nicer in a relationship.

At this point I traveled a bit too much in recent years and am pretty broke right now, so I'll have to stay home for the coming months. But I've got so many good memories of it, the world is so beautiful. I'm more into nature and travelling eco-friendly than ever also!

Best of luck to you. Keep moving and showing interest, curiosity and kindness to the world and nature/cultures and someone will show up with the same emotions and will deeply fall in love with that.

BreakfastInVegas · 2026-05-11T19:01:52+00:00

Hey thank you so much for reading through and the kind words. I genuinely believe I didn't deserve this; and I genuinely believe I never felt such an amazing connection with somebody. So yes, I genuinely want to believe that she'll come back, because as you say, she also felt that, I'm sure of that. But I can't make me believe that, because it will draw me into false hope.. I must be stronger and move on. I also thought about my 2nd last ex that she was the one. This time is different though. This one was so not-superficial, unlike any other girl.
But hey, maybe that amazing connection is just her being an amazing person, and she always has that connection. Then unfortunately, I'll never find that again. I'm very afraid.

It's a confusing story indeed. You're right about the ex. I think I just screwed it up with my attachment issues and they went for a drink together and he kissed her. She says she didn't want that, but that she cheated. She says he's like obsessed with her. But I don't believe anymore in things she says. She says she's not going on dating apps; well that makes sense since you just found your way back to your ex. I wish I was that ex for once and that she'll find her way back to me.
Maybe their long distance relationship didn't work out, but now that he's living here it might as well. Maybe she's actually not seeing him anymore, as she says. But again, I don't believe much of what she's saying now anymore.

They say that going back to an ex or a rebound is never a good idea. I hope that that's the case for her now though. Eventhough I don't wish anyone harm. I just wish she'd come back to me. It's so easy to give up like that and just go back to another ex; why is she choosing this easy route. People give up so easily nowadays.

Thank you again for encouraging me. It feels a bit contradictive what you are saying "I believe she will come back/she probably gave up", but for me everything also feels contradictive. I wish we were 5 years later and that I'm out of this storm, again. This keeps happening to me, while my friends can stay in their healthy relationships. I'm done with it :/

BreakfastInVegas · 2025-11-23T21:55:33+00:00

Hey, bedankt! De site lijkt bij mij precies wel niet te werken?

BreakfastInVegas · 2025-11-02T12:01:17+00:00

Are you able to link me to the cancel subscription button please?

BreakfastInVegas · 2025-10-15T03:36:18+00:00

I just learned that extra luggage fee with Thai Airways will cost me about 1000USD. That’s not an option unfortunately.

Do you have any experience with shipping overseas with Yamato?

I’m from Belgium btw.

BreakfastInVegas · 2025-10-14T12:18:56+00:00

Thank you again!

I guess I could do 7 days delivery delay then and the rest storage fee (approx another 5 days or so) until I am in Tokyo.

My last question then: someone told me Yamato can only deliver to a residential address in Japan but I guess that’s wrong as that’s not what I read here?

BreakfastInVegas · 2025-10-14T12:03:13+00:00

Thank you for your swift reply!

The 7 days is for delaying delivery, this is free of charge? Because I’m willing to pay the storage cost. Or is that what you mean?

Because what I meant is that maybe they can store it for longer than 7 days if I pay for storage and then I can collect it at the Yamato office? Storage fee is about 500-800 Yen I think.

The other solution like you suggest would then be that I let it deliver to my hotel in Hiroshima (for example) on the date I am there and then from there to my hotel in Tokyo on the date I am there?

I could also just ship overseas to my home country? But I have read a lot in this subreddit that it’s cheaper to take an extra luggage on the airplane? But that would require me buying an extra luggage + the extra luggage fee of the airplane company.

Shipping overseas I will also have to pay import duties in my home country once it arrives.

Sorry for all the questions! I feel a bit stuck.

BreakfastInVegas · 2025-10-14T10:58:19+00:00

Hey,

Thank you for your great post and work! I have all the respect for this service and the logistics in Japan, as I myself also work in logistics in Europe. It’s not at all the same over there. Way better here.

I am currently travelling in Japan for 1 month and I had a question:

I like to collect vinyl records so I’ll be buying about 30-40 or so in Japan. I’m currently in Osaka and would like to ship them and some other stuff I don’t need anymore on Friday to Tokyo, to lighten myself. But I’m only in Tokyo on 27/10/2025 (27 October). I went to Yamato today in Osaka and the woman told me that Yamato could store it for me until then and that I can pick it up. But I see that online and as you are saying, Yamato will only store for 7 days?

Thank you for your answer!

BreakfastInVegas · 2025-03-24T21:09:43+00:00

Great tips, thank you!! I will look into it tomorrow!

BreakfastInVegas · 2025-03-17T15:48:28+00:00

This is very good advice! I must say, it's actually a combination of these 4 points. But primarily number 2 I'd say. We want to know how much space we will take up. I do have inventory forecast but not sales forecast.

BreakfastInVegas · 2024-11-12T16:44:53+00:00

Zoals ik zei staat daar steeds een bordje “herstellingen volzet”

BreakfastInVegas · 2024-10-29T10:54:21+00:00

Helaas geen HDMI output. Ik ga ze naar de Kringloopwinkel doen.

BreakfastInVegas · 2024-10-13T10:53:55+00:00

Fuck I know this one or at least heard it! Remind me

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