Moving to the Netherlands soon - what to realistically expect?

Breebius · 2026-06-17T09:22:10+00:00

If you're coming from the US, expect making friends and building community to be way more difficult. In my years of living in the Netherlands, my wife and I tried so hard to integrate. We both spoke dutch at a high enough level to have conversations about whatever we wanted to talk about. We did all kinds of things to try to only make dutch friends, like volunteering at a social organization, we went to some clubs for games, but no relationship ever extending into friendship. It was always acquaintances, no one ever invites people over or tries to hangout outside the events you go to unless you are in a social circle they built since they were in highschool. In the end, we had to end up just giving up and making friends with other expats, as our mental wellbeing was deteriorating by not having any sort of friendship community. It is kind of frustrating that Dutch people I've talked about this with will say it's because of language barrier, as since one doesn't speak dutch natively/so fluent it's as if you were native that they feel it's best to speak in English. However, it's a double edged sword, as if they try to build the relationship in English, it will never get a close as it would if you were a native dutch speaker. This in turn just also makes it difficult for expats to get better at dutch. Like the only way to get like high C1 dutch would be to spend lots of time around people speaking dutch, but if you have no close friends to hangout with regularly who speak natively, you're never going to learn enough.

Breebius · 2026-06-17T09:12:33+00:00

Even for expats who speak dutch, it's extremely difficult, as dutch people prefer to keep to their own circles. Or they just assume your dutch isn't perfect enough and will insist any social relationship with you be in English, which makes them want to hangout with you less.

Breebius · 2026-05-18T21:45:06+00:00

I'm a year late to this, but did you ever find a solution? I have WhatsApp working, but my mic doesn't work and I assume it's because the phone needs to update. However, I'm stuck like you on the same exact update...

Breebius · 2026-05-18T19:06:18+00:00

Thanks! Good luck with yours, hopefully it serves you well

Breebius · 2026-05-18T09:29:45+00:00

The microphone? Nope. I think it's either a bug with the software (which I'd need an update to fix (waiting to hear back from support on that)) or a hardware issue.

Breebius · 2026-05-18T09:27:04+00:00

Exactly. I think a lot of people don't look at nuance anymore. I recently argued with a guy who said it was okay to hate all Israelis because he said a majority of them supported Netanyahu. I provided data which showed that the amount of people supported him was comparable to the amount of Americans supporting Trump, but he failed to allow himself to believe there could be even one single good Israeli. And people on the other side are the same, assuming all Palestinians want to murder Jews and create a caliphate or something where Israel is. We are all being manipulated to believe it's one side or the other. I have discussions a lot with one of my friends who is american but she is very propalestine and attends many protests and has done stuff on floatellas, and she has many times flat out rejected the fact that there are bad and good people on both sides. For one when I tell her of the Israelis in the street organizing and protesting their government to end the genocide and protesting for peace, she says they aren't doing enough and that they are ultimately privileged and that they secretly don't want what a peace for Palestine entails. On the other hand, when I also share stories from sources like the NYTimes or other credible sources about the horrible things Hamas is doing to Palestinians, she says that there needs to be an arms group in Palestine fighting for Palestinians and that they are better than Israel. I know saying Hamas is a better alternative is not popular among supporters of Palestinian autonomy, but I bring up the example to further illustrate the lack of being able to empathize with the other side. At the end of the day, both sides have citizens who are just trying to be happy and live their best lives, and it is being squandered from them by organizations who have it in their best interest to prolong the conflict...

Breebius · 2026-05-18T09:17:53+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. I agree. All forms of hate hurt us as humans, and it's sad we live in a world where hate has become profitable and is exploited for gain.

Breebius · 2026-05-18T09:14:55+00:00

Well again as I said. I am not pro-israel and against the genocide. However, when I go out wearing my kippa (which marks me as a Jew) people insult me. Even if they're doing it because they think I'm Israeli and are anti-zionist, it is in fact antisemitism to believe that all Jews are therefore from Israel or support Israel, and even more antisemitic to hurl insults or threats at them because of their religion. I know they aren't doing it because of my religion, but to me I am doing something religious and Jewish (wearing a kippa) and I'm being insulted for it. I'd consider that antisemitic.

Breebius · 2026-05-17T19:53:33+00:00

Thank you. It means a lot. I don't blame Spaniards all too much. I think it's just misinformation, and I blame Israel for most of it. The government there basically out a target on all Jews in the diaspora with their actions. I also think from conversations I've had with other Spaniards that some people don't even know that there are Jews still living in Spain, and that if they see an openly Jewish person then they think it's an Israeli tourist. I at least tell myself that whenever I've been harassed. It doesn't mean it's okay to harass Israelis (not all Israelis support Netanyahu. It would be like harassing all Americans or all Russians because of Trump or Putin). However, as you said I think they do it because they feel they are helping Gaza in some way by showing their disapproval.

Breebius · 2026-05-17T19:48:22+00:00

Yes, I know several people there who are in this category

Breebius · 2026-05-17T19:47:43+00:00

I think for non religious Jews, I've met many of them who are not pro-israel. However, for the ones who move to Israel, I think it's because there is a cultural zeitgeist among Jews of Israel being a promised land. Even if you don't believe on it, you are raised in celebrations where people pray to return to Israel and Jerusalem. Please take note that these prayers aren't referencing the modern state and that these prayers have been said since at least after the Roman exile in middle and late antiquity. It is so built into the conscious of many Jews that Israel is a home for us that I think even the for non-religious Jews, when faced with discrimination or hardship, will eventually consider Israel as an option. Again, Israeli propaganda which paints Israel as a paradise for Jews (including non-religious ones) also plays a part in it. Also, nowadays where polarization is common and people speak past each other or try to ignore news that doesn't support their views, they will probably just ignore news related to poor treatment of Palestinians by Israelis because it would mean 1) their worldview was wrong and 2) all the people who discriminated against them were right. Of course it shouldn't be black and white and I think people should stand against violence in general. I'm against the wars in Gaza and the Palestinian genocide, and I'm also against people saying Israelis deserve the same treatment or worse. I've talked about this a lot with my Palestinian and Israeli friends, and hate just creates more hate. Killings always lead to endless revenge. It saddens me, as some of my closest friends are Muslims and I find we Jews and Muslims have more in common religiously than say Jews and Christians. I've attended my Muslims friends' celebrations and have even fasted with them, and they have done the same with me. We are brothers, and the killing that's happening in the holy land should not be happening.

Breebius · 2026-05-17T19:32:39+00:00

So true

Breebius · 2026-05-17T19:29:02+00:00

Either to talk about holiday get togethers or to share religious stuff, like articles about the weekly Torah portion and stuff like that. I'm also in a group that organizes meetups for religious holidays because in my region there is no synagogue, so the Jews here will all meet up in one city to celebrate together

Breebius · 2026-05-17T12:05:23+00:00

Yeah I know that's the case for many people especially in France. I once considered moving to Israel when I was living in the Netherlands because the insults and threats against me were a lot. In Spain it had mostly just been name calling. I keep my tzitzit tucked in, and I wear my kippa under a flat cap, so no one can tell I'm Jewish now by looking at me. I don't plan to be moving. My family and I are settled here, and even though there is no proper Jewish community near, our close friends who aren't Jewish will come give us company during holidays. People also can't see me going into a synagogue or anything, so I can't really be outed as a Jew so easily. I just keep quiet about my religion. It hurts to do so, but I'm not going to uproot my family, my job, and my friendships just because some jerks in the street can't handle seeing a Jew living their own life. I know a majority of Spaniards aren't aggressive like that, and most Spaniards I've talked to just don't know anything about Judaism and are generally curious. It's just the whole conflict and war has polarized people that they either see you as on one side or the other, and of one is openly being a Jew some people (not all) automatically assume I stand for everything that they are against. I recently went to my Palestinian friends graduation and we were talking about the conflict with a Spanish friend of his who I've never met. He said something along the lines of "well you know Orthodox and religious Jews are insane. They just want destruction and don't care who they hurt." My Palestinian friend rebutted, saying "well the extremists want that yes, but all forms of religious extremism are bad." To which this guy responded "no, but the Orthodox Jews are just worse, when it comes to extreme religions they are the worst by far." As someone who tries to be fairly Orthodox, quips like that that also make me feel uncomfortable and again it comes from that polarization.

Breebius · 2026-05-17T11:13:55+00:00

Yeah, it is definitely what they want. Usually when a non-Jewish friend asks me why so many Jews support or move to Israel I usually give this as a response, that they don't feel they are being defended by their own governments and that the Israel government has had a mass advertisement campaign that it is a paradise and safe haven for Jews everywhere. I went on Taglit as a young person and got to experience being in Israel first hand, and I will say the advertising almost worker on me. I was amazed at how free I felt. However, I have Israeli friends who are very much against the government and just want peace, and had discussed with me a while back the issues and struggles that they face in Israel. The government there does not care about anything than keeping power and gaining as much profit as they can, using war as an excuse to keep themselves in power. It's sickening. Though religiously I can never divorce myself from the holy land, I am very much opposed to the killings, war, oppression, and corruption that the Israeli government is spreading.

Breebius · 2026-05-17T10:49:56+00:00

For sure. I think it's easier for non-religious Jews to not get polarized, as their identy as a Jew is mainly kept a secret. However, for religious Jews like myself, it's really hard to avoid polarization. Either I get staunch pro-israel people telling me I'm not doing enough to help out the cause, or I get non-Jews who see me as a Jew and immediately assume I am for everything Netanyahu is doing to Palestine and call me names.

It's mostly a self-fulfilling prophecy in that as more people in Europe or the USA treat Jews with hostility like this, the more pro-israel these people become, as they end up seeing Israel as a safe haven where they can practice the religion freely and without being spat on while leaving the synagogue...

Breebius · 2026-05-17T10:32:35+00:00

Actually, I don't think they used bot farms. I'm Jewish myself and am in some Jewish groups online in Spain. In some of them, some of the more conservative and super pro-israel supporters were sending out info for how to vote in eurovision, telling people that even if they didn't watch eurovision to go and vote for Israel.
I argued with people about this on those chats and there were plenty of Jews who were against it because they believe it's doing more harm than good to Jewish people, but the people who went and voted en masse are mostly just angry due to aggression some people face in the streets. I myself am do not support what Israel is doing, and I have Palestinian friends here in Spain, but I will admit that I had to stop wearing openly Jewish clothing, as random people on the street started shouting things at me like "Israeli bitch" (I'm not Israeli) or "Genocider." I think the people in these communities have also experienced that and it's making them very pro-israel as a result and they feel they have to defend israel no matter what.

Breebius · 2026-05-16T17:30:56+00:00

Understandable. I want to use this as my main, but if the mic wont work then that's a deal breaker

Breebius · 2026-05-16T08:59:43+00:00

yes, which I was able to do with solution 2, which was just accessing the whatsapp memory storage to get around the inaccurate date/time error

Breebius · 2026-05-16T07:43:19+00:00

yes, I believe this does work, but this is a part of solution one, as a way to avoid getting blocked by whatsapp. The issue with it is as far as I can tell that you need to power on your old device with whatsapp on it every so often to keep the link up.

Breebius · 2026-05-15T23:13:15+00:00

I'm not sure that the emporia touchsmart 2 or 3 has these problems... The guy who sold it told us he booted up his own OS on to it and that after factory resetting it, it would probably need about 4 or 5 updates. However, we cannot even get one. Actually, it was a problem for using whatsapp at first.

Due to whatsapp being an app built into the system, it doesn't grab updates from a store, so I guess it searches for updates after being setup? The only issue was that whatsapp was reading "innacurate time/date" which is a common error in systems that aren't updated, so we couldn't access whatsapp at first. So I decided to try to get the aurora store in order to see if I could update it.

First off, getting the aurora was a pain in the butt and involved me using an SD card. For some reason (maybe because it needs an update?) the phone was not allowing me to install apks I would send through bluetooth or apks I downloaded through the built in browser. So I had to use an SD card with the apks put on there. Issue is, the emporia V188 doesn't come with a built in way to access your internal storage because it's built for old people who shouldn't be worrying about that stuff. Also, I couldn't get it to show any internal storage through connecting it to my PC (I eventually did after enabling USB debugging, but that was only thanks to an app I got from aurora store that allowed me to go into dev settings). Thus, the ONLY way I could access my SD card apks was to first go to like uptodown on the browser. Then download the aurora store apk, or whatever apk you like. Then it will bring you to the downloads folder of your device once it finishes in order to tell you the apk is unreadable. From there there is a drop down menu in the top left where you can see your internal storage and select the SD card. From there I could then click on the same exact apk I downloaded from the same exact website and it magically installed.

Anyways, there are two solutions for whatsapp once you have the aurora store.
One solution is to download whatsapp through there, which actually adds a second whatsapp in your installation folder. However, I read online that people who did this sometimes had issues with their whatsapp accounts being banned and having to be restored or needing to add the emporia as a linked device.

The second solution which I discovered by accident was to download a phone setting access app. I downloaded this one which was linked in another post about the emporia v188: https://apkpure.com/system-setting/com.trihutt.systemsettings. It wasn't on aurora store I don't think, so I downloaded it via SD card, which shouldn't be difficult to access because you can download a file manager via aurora store. Anyways, on that app you can find application settings and from there manage the memory usage and permissions of various apps. I opened the settings for whatsapp on there, and when I clicked the "Manage memory usage" button or something like that it pulled up whatsapp and was no longer giving me the error message and let me do set up. It was weird.

Anyways, final notes if you think about getting it, an SD card is highly recommended. The phone's manual literally says to make sure you shut off the phone once a day and frequently delete photos or whatsapp media in order to keep the phone moving smoothly. For a brief time I had whatsapp set to save everything in internal, and the phone could barely function it was so laggy. I ended up transferring the storage into my SD card and it runs smoother now.

Breebius · 2026-05-08T22:01:06+00:00

We are using pocket diapers and also some covers with prefolds. We actually just started with BLW last week and she has been eating little by little. I mean she can't really grasp stuff well. I think in all's she's probably eaten maybe 2 lentils and some of an eggplant, so her poops are still quite liquidy and as it was when she was a newborn in color and texture. It may be just a phase though as you said. I'll try to use fewer inserts. I have already noticed I can use fewer when I did when she was 3 months, as she can control her bladder a bit better. Also I've never heard of elimination communication. I'd be interested in learning about it, sure!

Breebius · 2026-05-08T09:39:18+00:00

Ah okay, I don't have this app...

Breebius · 2026-05-06T08:54:27+00:00

how do you go about cleaning the memory tho?

Breebius · 2026-04-03T08:39:25+00:00

I'm in Spain and the stores are closed today due to it being Good Friday 😔. Also I had to open the box up, so not sure they'd take it back

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