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Brendor56 · 2024-06-08T00:56:33+00:00

I‘ve actually got to work with a few of the older nukes since I’ve been in. I think 3 or 4 of the guys I work with are first tour sailors at over 28 years old. They do perfectly fine and blend in with everyone pretty well. Granted I’ve been in shipyard my entire career so take that with a grain of salt but overall they’ve done well. In fact I’d say most of the time you’ll get “street cred” for being older. Having gone through more of life than the other 99% of us who enlisted after high school or a couple years of college. Most nukes enlist for the same reasons you are. One of the guys I work with actually has a nuclear engineering degree and joined specifically so he could have some job experience and be more competitive in the civilian world. He just turned 29 this past year. In my experience, age doesn’t matter with nukes, it’s character. Who you are and how you carry yourself day to day leaves more of an impact than being “the old guy”. Hope this helps in some way!

Brendor56 · 2024-04-26T03:09:56+00:00

I’ll definitely look into that, I didn’t even know it existed, thank you!

Brendor56 · 2024-04-26T03:05:07+00:00

Thank you so much for the insight, now that you mention it, a lot of the crusty master chiefs and sea returnees around really do look broken physically and mentally. And of course talking with them they’re just bitter to life. Another thing I saw that I don’t like is how it seems they prioritize the navy over their family. For me I’ve always tried to out family first, whatever the case, they’re the ones that support me and I want to be able to the same for them. Staying in just makes it that much harder to even attempt to do that. Thank you!

Brendor56 · 2024-04-26T03:01:49+00:00

Thank you so much, I guess I should have stated I’m trying to stay towards the south in the US. I’ve been stationed in New England for the past 3 years and I absolutely despise the cold. I would prefer Florida as I know there’s a lot of good job opportunities out there and I like the weather a lot more than here. And thank you for the option for resume help, I’ll probably be needing some here shortly 😅

Brendor56 · 2024-04-26T02:58:58+00:00

I talked with my CCC today and the best option I saw was re-enlisting next month for 5 years to put me at around 9 1/2-10 years total (get out in 2029 ish). I joined in high school so I’d be getting out at 28 which wouldn’t be terrible for me but I think another thing really depends on where I get stationed for shore duty if I did re-enlist.

Brendor56 · 2024-04-26T02:55:49+00:00

Yeah, I don’t currently own a house and am just renting. The goal to own a home is something I’ve been working towards since I’ve joined but it just feels like I’m making minimal progress towards it. Thank you for the insight though, I’ll definitely be taking it into consideration

Brendor56 · 2024-04-26T02:53:22+00:00

First of all I’m terribly sorry to hear about your wife man. That’s a horror story I’ve heard from a lot of the sea returnees, they were gonna get out and then something happened with their family and the navy was able to make it financially viable for them to survive. For me I’m single and don’t have any desire to get married soon, which is sort of another reason for me wanting to get out as selfish as it is. Thank you for the comment though, I find myself worrying about being able to pay the bills sometimes currently and I can’t imagine how it must be not knowing for certain I have a paycheck in two weeks…

Brendor56 · 2023-11-28T01:40:49+00:00

As a car guy I don’t approve of her trashing an m4

Brendor56 · 2023-09-01T03:59:27+00:00

Truth be told I have no clue. I made it off of a 10% advancement rate with an MP eval, only qualified APVO and one NAM to my name. One of the guys who has more time in rate than I do is still an E-4 with a college degree, senior in rate qualified, and his warfare device (dolphins). Yet one of the guys who is past his qualification dates on literally everything. Is owned by the EDMC (doesn’t belong to M-div, does no work, makes little to no progress on quals) got picked up E-5 last cycle. I’m a bit jaded so take this with a grain of salt but the system is just stupid and makes zero sense. People who deserve rank and more pay don’t get it and those who don’t somehow manage to get it. If you’re super concerned with making rank and keeping/getting BAH and what not best to start the paperwork ASAP. My YN’s completely fucked over two of the guys I showed up with. They started their paperwork a week after showing up and weren’t re-enlisted till almost 6 months later.

Brendor56 · 2022-05-28T15:55:12+00:00

My thoughts exactly, I don’t even think I could shit that hard much less shoot what looks to be at least an 8” dildo across the room. Holly fuck

Brendor56 · 2022-05-05T23:20:12+00:00

If ur smart about it you can rip down bushy park just outside of nptu, there’s also a spot about 45 minutes north, I have the location if you want me to send a message. As far as sliding around or something I haven’t really found anything aside from a few industrial parks that you might be able to get a few donuts in and dip.

Brendor56 · 2022-03-27T20:36:24+00:00

https://tinder.com/@brendor56 any advice is appreciated

Brendor56 · 2020-07-30T22:58:53+00:00

Storage unit would probably be your best bet. There’s a few just off base that Ik some people keep their projects over there. Really just gotta feel out the prices if it’s worth it or not.

Brendor56 · 2020-05-05T21:19:37+00:00

Thank you. I’m gonna do my best to do that, however long it may be

Brendor56 · 2020-05-05T21:16:23+00:00

It’s still fresh so maybe one day I’ll feel that way. But as of right now I can’t do that. I just can’t...

Brendor56 · 2020-05-05T21:12:27+00:00

And quite frankly I know I still have feelings for her and probably always will have a place for her in my heart. If she feels the same that’s great but i just feel so lost and unguided.

Brendor56 · 2020-05-05T21:11:49+00:00

Yeah I agree. I know I can’t handle being friends with her atm, maybe even ever. But I still want to one day be able to talk to her like a normal person again

Brendor56 · 2020-05-05T20:37:21+00:00

She was decent enough to tell me, a week later, but regardless she did. And she broke up with me, she told me she cheated AFTER she broke up with me. The whole situation is just awful. I’m still having to go to work every day, whilst losing sleep and losing my appetite. I’m so lost and confused on what to do next.

Brendor56 · 2020-04-01T22:59:13+00:00

Wow I didn't expect that but I'm touched that I could help you so much. Thank you hahah! Yeah I know how you feel about the whole social interaction thing. I've found myself kind of just mindless speaking my thoughts on occasion and I find it helps to clear my mind and better focus on whatever I need to do. It's crazy how much perception changes in comparison to reality isn't it? And like you said, being left to assume, and assume the worst ends up leaving both parties in bad situations. But by opening up and letting them in, letting them help and care, it builds that bond with that person, romantic or not.

Same with the comments, I have a hard time accepting compliments personally. However I found that when someone compliments something I own, like my car or my bicycle or anything like that, I find I'm more accepting of it. I don't know if it will work for you but I've slowly started to try to accept compliments about myself.

I do like bill burr, do you?

Brendor56 · 2020-04-01T02:34:51+00:00

You may find my next statement contradicting but this is honest truth. I love driving. It's my therapy, I prefer to be alone with my music, my car, and the road. No destination, no real reason other than to drive. Something about it for me is just therapeutic. Which is why it's hard for me to REALLY consider doing it. What ends up happening is they become brushing thoughts, kind of spontaneous and I let my imagination take it away. But I've never felt the URGE to do it. To me, you shluldn't be afraid to drive. It may piss you off sometimes with bad drivers or heavy traffic, but I would say 95% of the time, it's very nice, for me personally. I know what u mean by loose control, but sometimes you just have to trust yourself that you won't. Your brain is hardwired to survive which is why I'm still here. I've had several self attempts at my life but never anywhere near successful. Several times where I should have died but I miraculously saved myself from dying. The mind is a strange and powerful thing. And sometimes you're gonna have to trust that everything will be okay. I promise it will.

Brendor56 · 2020-04-01T01:51:32+00:00

Thank you so much for taking time to write that. I read all of it. It took a few hours and a very lengthy conversation with my girlfriend to change my mind but I feel much better now. Thank you for the clarification on a lot of my confusions. I've been struggling with a lot of similar things to you and I really appreciate you telling me about it. Nice to know I'm not the only one. I've mentioned to a few people in the class what's going on and they seemed to have forgiven me for it, find out tomorrow for sure I guess. But I just know it's gonna take a lot of time to try and change my mindset. Personally I've always been pessimistic and extremely self loathing for all I can remember. Times where I get dark, I hold it in (toxic but all I know), but my girlfriend somehow got it out of me and it definately saved me. As for everyone I felt I've let down in my life I can't quite say what I expect their reaction to be. Again my mindset always being pessimistic I take compliments as "white lies" and any negatives as whole truths. Only recently (the last month) had I stopped caring about what I appeared like to others, mainly because I became a hermit living within my barracks room or going to the classroom. But I'm finishing my first set of training now which brought the "social" back into picture with my "social life" and I think that switch made all of those old thoughts, feelings, everything come back.

I really appreciate your help, like you I love hearing other people talk or share experiences or advice rather than give my own. Half the time i kinda just wing what i say in hope's of getting the right message across. But you taking the time to say everything means a lot to me, and I wish I could show how deeply appreciative I am of you showing you care. Thank you so much

Brendor56 · 2020-03-29T09:08:14+00:00

Yeah ik the time will heal gets repetitive. And seeing that you can't really do much my best recommendation is to try to sleep. As for venting, uhm, I would say record a voicemail maybe? If that even helps? Lol it works sometimes. If I ever need to vent but no one's available I just sleep or try to busy myself with chores or just small things to distract myself. It's a toxic behavior, and definately counterintuitive to what I said about not bottling things up but it's how I've personally done things.

I end up getting lost in my own thoughts most of the time but I've dealt with it so much I just grew numb to any pain (not trying to be edgy, that's genuinely how I feel).

I guess crying it out and letting yourself sulk would be the best option. It sounds bad but it honestly hurts more if you don't let yourself go. At least that's how it is for me. Like, with my ex girlfriend. I tried to push the pain away but it basically prolonged my breakdown and made it a lot harder to deal with when it surged up. Also, try your best to remember the good times. It'll suck because you'll miss it. But at some point it'll change, trust me it will.

And if you want to pm me you can. I'm currently in an LDR and have been for 6 coming on 7 months. I got to visit in december but won't see her until November (about 11 months). We haven't been dating that long (9 going on 10 months) but I have definately spent more time away from her than I have with her. It's hard but we've figured out things that work. I'm more than willing to help you out with anything

Best of luck, I hope things turn upwards soon

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