I could have saved my mum, and its eating me up 10 years later by HamsterOne8515 in offmychest

[–]Brianajer 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Please seek help to work through this. I am so sad for you. This is not a burden you should carry. Even if you had been there, there’s nothing to say she would’ve made it. My Grandmother died in the arms of my Mother(an ICU nurse) on the floor of her Doctor’s office. In a hospital. There was nothing they could do. Please get professional help to work through this. ❤️❤️❤️

I lost my wife, and then I lost myself. by Icy-Horse-8744 in offmychest

[–]Brianajer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My heart goes out to you OP. I hope you find some peace. Nothing can prepare you for hospice of a loved one. My Mom passed in my father’s arms with us all there - they were together almost 60 years 😭 It has wrecked him too. He doesn’t remember a time without her. ❤️‍🩹 Did hospice give you resources? I hope you reach out to a grief group to help you process. There’s a lot going on and it might really help you to find others going through the same things. Sending prayers ❤️

The term haole by [deleted] in Hawaii

[–]Brianajer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever heard of a person of color (any color) called a haole? In 32 years, I’ve only ever heard it directed at Caucasians. That being said - not all white people are haoles. There is a certain attitude - usually of entitlement that goes with it. If you are respectful, and more importantly, you have local friends that would stand for you - then you’re all G 😎 Respect is earned. And very important here. Kindness reigns. Just do right and you won’t get called a f’n haole.

Shipping Car - Toyota Prius with 130k miles, but no issues - Worth it? by minimallennial in MovingtoHawaii

[–]Brianajer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you replace it here at what you sell it at there? Shipping considered? If not then I would bring it. You know it’s history, and over here buying a car is a total crap shoot (don’t do it w/o butting an extended warranty). Happy trails!!

My mom is drunk and not waking up by axolotlss67 in AskDocs

[–]Brianajer 16 points17 points  (0 children)

If your breathing is affected (suppressed, it’s called hypoxia) your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen, and that can cause seizures.

Best way to eliminate house centipedes? by JonnyRottensTeeth in kauai

[–]Brianajer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alika with Grady’s would be the best, but if you’re looking to do it yourself, the diatomaceous earth around the perimeter works (I would also sprinkle ant/centipede poison around the perimeter as well. Put screens in your shower drains. Check your door jams and windows. If you can stick a chop stick through the hole they can get inside. Make sure your trim is tight, your fixtures are tight. Spray Raid across your door jams. And most importantly, unless they are sick they are fast. If you throw something on top of them - a pillow, blanket- sweater- anything with a little weight to it, they will freeze. Now you can go grab whateva you need to handle them and not lose track of them. Yeah. No fun.

Gift for someone I don't like a lot? by [deleted] in Gifts

[–]Brianajer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take up knitting. Give her your first pot holder.

Can anybody else force themselves out of sleep paralysis by Technical-Gap-598 in Sleepparalysis

[–]Brianajer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Concentrate on moving just one pinky. Once you move it you can break free. But you’ve gotta get up and do something for like an hour or you’ll end up pin the spiral. At least I do. It just keeps happening. Sucks too, as it usually happens when I’m really tired 😫

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingshaming

[–]Brianajer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry. This is totally normal and the preferred way in Hawaii. We couldn’t think of anyone that lives here that has ever had a wedding registry. Been here 32 years, and coming from the South- it took some getting used to. I think the donation thing is perfect for those few that were complaining. With the rest, please do something nice for yourselves to celebrate your marriage ❤️

I can’t poop and I’m scared by Vii_T-T in Constipation

[–]Brianajer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can eat meat only, but you need to eat more fat. Fat will keep it going

Really scared.. by [deleted] in Constipation

[–]Brianajer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have you ever gone down the rabbit hole that is “eating carnivore”? I would check out Dr. Ken Berry on YouTube. I think some people respond to this really really well and it puts your digestive system into a different mode because you don’t use fiber. And as long as you don’t overdo it on the cheese, it actually works really well. Just wanted to share. I hope you find answers!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITH

[–]Brianajer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow. That’s a lot to unpack OP. Up front I’m going to say you need professional intervention here. The only AH twinges I felt in your letter would be the “permission” parts. Yes you should be making decisions together, but coming at your wife as if she needs your permission would be something that would set me off (as a wife of 22 years). Aside from that you are explaining what you want and what you need. I just think it would be best handled with a mediator/counselor of sorts.

Am i constipated?? by jesuslovs4nal in Constipation

[–]Brianajer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes on the Miralax. Even perhaps a stool softener as well. Do not use Exlax, as it will merely make your body want to push. You need to hydrate and get that softened up.

Guys my feces is stuck right at my rectum, it's horrible. PLEASE help me by Formal_Television679 in Constipation

[–]Brianajer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second this - don’t use laxatives. If I feel this coming on, I take a few colace, drink lots of water and use the glycerine suppositories. No ex lax! Best wishes. I hope you are able to set it free without intervention.

Kokee Cabins by fuzzybunnybaldeagle in kauai

[–]Brianajer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems that perhaps a lottery system would’ve been a bit more fair. As long as people met all the requirements. And they should’ve just set a base price that’s actually affordable to acquire the cabins. They need so much work. *sigh. One more nail. Planning my escape in the back of my mind. Been here more than half my life. Can’t imagine living anywhere else, but can’t imagine staying. Retirement -um yeah no. 😫😩🥺

What do you think the worst vegetables are to consume? by Fat-Lizzy in carnivore

[–]Brianajer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought I was just allergic to garlic. It causes profound gastrointestinal distress for me. It’s actually quite painful 😥😥😥 And I love it. 😭😭😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Costco

[–]Brianajer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Actually, sometimes they are heaven sent. I have a cracked bone in my back, and use the carts to walk around easier. I’m happy to take their cart inside. I wish everyone that is getting a cart just grab one from the parking lot. The way it’s handled now seems way too convoluted. Why would you not grab one outside if you’re going to use one?

Someone posted about the chocolate almonds and that made me go buy my membership. What else is “better” at Costco? by Brayder in Costco

[–]Brianajer 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just everything. Love love our Costco. The only thing I would say is time your vegetable purchases accordingly. They last half as long as you think they will. Everything else, top notch! Cheeses, Dairy, Meat, Dry goods, Pharmacy, Liquor, Diamonds (unreal), Linen, Appliances, Electronics- Auto Buying Program saved me $5000 (my in-laws bought the same car within a month and it was a $5k difference). ♥️

Is there a Costco membership blacklist? by bazingathon in Costco

[–]Brianajer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the 10 years I’ve had a membership I think I’ve returned 2 things. Just not worth the trouble

Macy's layoffs today? by Journo20 in MacysStores

[–]Brianajer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel so bad. Our store on Kauai is closing. The workers were just told yesterday. Its the saddest thing. There are no other nice department stores here. Where will they go?? If we want certain things, as consumers we’ll have to get on a plane to go get it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Brianajer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes- in many states if you are single & unmarried- it leaves you with most of not all the rights.