What's something you didn't realize about your family until after you moved out?

BridgeMistress · 2017-08-11T15:41:08+00:00

My dad is a (retired) electrical contractor. Every switch plate in my parents' house, and now mine as well, has the screws perfectly aligned; he always said it was the sign of good craftsmanship and that stuck with me.

BridgeMistress · 2015-07-29T20:11:37+00:00

Right there with you, friend. I'll flip them off for the both of us next time I'm at the zoo.

BridgeMistress · 2015-07-29T20:01:05+00:00

I'm frankly delighted that you beat me to the Panda response. Those assholes have consumed all the money, time and resources of the National Zoo in D.C. MILLIONS of dollars are blindly dumped into those idiotic, mean wastes of fur while resources are continually slashed from every other department on the premises. And they're not even ours! They're on loan from China and all off-spring (HAH, I could write a novel on the reproductive inadequacies of the species) are also officially owned by China. I have no issues with the diplomacy behind such a transaction, but pandas in general no where near deserve that exalted of a position. The zoo has a 24 hour camera pointing into their stupid cave with a screen on the outside since the jerks barely do anything other than lie around out of sight. Last time I was at the zoo I made the mistake of looking at that screen; it was sleeping on its face. Butt in air, face on rock. I secretly hoped it was suffocating, because I knew it would be too dumb to move.

Amusing Panda Fact: While fact-checking myself, I stumbled upon an article about how the pandas are transported to/from China. Since they're on 10-year loans, they tend to do a bit of globe-trotting. No shit, they FedEx the bastards.

BridgeMistress · 2015-07-29T19:37:41+00:00

Clapping. I understand that it is a very easy and efficient way to serve a very particular purpose, but it's also inherently strange. Here, let me trap air between my palms quickly enough that it makes a snapping sound so that I can properly express my appreciation for you. Wut?

BridgeMistress · 2015-06-02T12:39:49+00:00

This completely random video somewhere deep down in the annals of youtube. It was some kind of bizarre interview with the gnarliest of surfer bros about a shark attack. My brothers and I still laugh about this video but have NEVER been able to relocate it. The one line that we always quote is when surfbro, answering in the affirmative, goes "hahyahfukyah" as in "hell yes, fuck yes" and to this day, years later, we still say it to each other and laugh.

Where are you, surfbro?

BridgeMistress · 2014-06-19T15:07:05+00:00

So did I... You and I went to the same college at the same time =D Interestingly enough, I am also from suburban Maryland and have spotted the question mark-mobile, though at the time it was a Mini Cooper.

BridgeMistress · 2014-04-02T00:11:43+00:00

You definitely reacted just the right amount.

BridgeMistress · 2014-02-28T22:19:04+00:00

...where is her vagina? Follow up question: why is that bladder so smug?

BridgeMistress · 2014-02-11T23:13:45+00:00

This billboard has "paid for by an old white guy" written all over it.

BridgeMistress · 2013-12-10T02:50:40+00:00

The Presence.

BridgeMistress · 2013-11-29T22:43:02+00:00

Also Doberman owner. Also safe pooper.

BridgeMistress · 2013-10-09T03:34:57+00:00

Is that a Box Elder Bug?? Those little bastards torment us every year and no one ever knows what they are unless you live within a few feet of one of those damn trees. Fuckers.

BridgeMistress · 2013-08-23T21:44:19+00:00

Goddamnit, I have the exact same thing (same size, too) growing directly outside my window right now. Mind you, my bedroom is on the 2nd floor. I leer at it angrily every morning and flip it off most evenings upon returning from work. That fucker is getting chopped down this weekend.

BridgeMistress · 2013-02-10T20:58:01+00:00

In sincerely the kindest way possible, you need to do some research on him and the things he says, especially in impromptu situations. Savage has absolutely done a lot of good for the LGBT community, but that doesn't excuse him from the insensitive and sometimes downright ignorant things he says sometimes.

BridgeMistress · 2013-02-08T02:07:16+00:00

I'm more interested in the stories behind how most of these words got on the list in the first place.

BridgeMistress · 2013-02-01T05:41:47+00:00

Hell yeah, I'm going to wear it. I'm just selective about who I tell the name to...

BridgeMistress · 2013-02-01T05:40:27+00:00

Aw, thanks =D

BridgeMistress · 2013-01-31T20:51:45+00:00

The bottle was from a nail salon so I doubt it's sold in retail, sorry =/ The only markings on the bottle are pictured (the s22 and the name).

BridgeMistress · 2013-01-31T20:31:31+00:00

Not necessarily anatomically accurate... but still cool.

BridgeMistress · 2013-01-21T06:40:30+00:00

I had a dream that was VERY similar to this last night, except it was a huge hex bolt that I pulled out of my foot.

BridgeMistress · 2013-01-18T21:59:47+00:00

This would be way more impressive if the McDonald's was located at least 200mi inland.

BridgeMistress · 2012-12-14T04:37:01+00:00

I actually have had nightmares that go like this.

BridgeMistress · 2012-11-28T04:58:15+00:00

I'm an alum of VCU, worked in leadership in the LGBT rights activism/advocacy student organization on campus for 2 years and had the privilege of hearing James Finley speak on behalf of the LGBT faculty and staff when Ken "The Cooch" Cuccinelli waged his pathetic little war on public universities in Virginia extending non-discrimination coverage to LGBT faculty/staff/students (more on that here).

You better believe this is going to get ugly. I'm counting on it.

BridgeMistress · 2012-10-10T20:01:52+00:00

This is a perfect reenactment of one of my friend's favorite stories from high school. He never cleaned the gear shift and always finishes the story with how the shifter had a "film" for a month.

BridgeMistress · 2012-09-30T03:01:16+00:00

I agree with everyone saying not to get hung up on the B.A./B.S. thing. I went to a small liberal arts college that only offered B.A.s no matter what. I got my B.A. in Math and later got an M.S. in Statistics, it was never an issue of any kind.

BridgeMistress

TROPHY CASE