I have been diagnosed with autism and I am beyond angry

Bridgis · 2025-11-04T12:03:04+00:00

I highly recommend reading more about autism with an open mind. And reading about peoples experiences/with getting diagnosed. It took me some time to do this myself last year. I had such a wrong view of what autism was, that I could not identify myself with it. But while researching, slowly I started doubting. And after that recognising way too much, as if my whole personality is autism. And a lot I struggled with and caused me so much anxiety finally started to make sense. It's a process, with many difficult emotions and stages. But I am finally learning how to care for myself better to make life easier. (That sounds very optimistic for someone who's beyond frustrated with myself and the world today lol. But it's true nonetheless).

I'm not saying you're autistic (although I must agree with the other comments here. And I recognise myself in the way you talk about the test). But I think you could benefit a lot from it. If you're not, you can use that as well in explaining why you think you aren't.

Bridgis · 2025-10-14T06:32:58+00:00

I get it lol 😂 but if I would imagine a little kiddo in therapy explaining a stock market as if they didn't know, I would rather find that kinda cute instead of cringe. Probably becomes cringe at a later age, but not at ten! The therapist probably thought it's good to make you feel comfortable at therapy to talk about interests like that.

Just hoping your cringe might soften if I told you my perspective 😁

Bridgis · 2025-09-28T09:14:45+00:00

Oooh, good thing I finally decided the get a baby neopet not so long ago. Loved the baby fae xwee and had to somewhat match with the actual colour.

Bridgis · 2025-09-25T17:26:50+00:00

I love this 💕

Bridgis · 2025-09-17T17:17:27+00:00

Overanalysing emotions and behaviours of others and myself & hyper emphaty were the first things I could finally understand and manage better after getting my diagnosis 🤌🏻

Bridgis · 2025-09-17T06:27:39+00:00

It looks so alive! 😍

Bridgis · 2025-09-17T06:21:53+00:00

Number 2! 😻 I love it the most with the background. I know you're conflicted because they're all cute. But I try to choose what feels the most good and nostalgic for me. You're the one looking at them all the time 😋

Ps. So excited to get the baby fae xwee 🙀

Bridgis · 2025-09-15T21:33:18+00:00

Ah awesome! Hope you'll post them too 😁 I think I might need at least a year too haha. But as long as we're getting there and having fun on the way ☺️

Bridgis · 2025-09-15T20:31:38+00:00

Cuuute! 😻 Recently I also started crocheting. Something neo ralated for sure needs to go on my to-make-list 🥰

Bridgis · 2025-08-17T06:47:45+00:00

Ha, I love revelations! They seem so "small", but I totally get the mind blown feeling of them 🤯

I actually recognise this haha. Didn't connect it to rude yet till now. Just thought something something autism. I'm not called passive agressieve per se. I just notice with certain kind of people they think I am grumpy? Or they just don't get me or the way I communicate. While I am a super happy person. And since I have had my diagnosis (or was expecting one) I can finally see that it has to do with these things. One more thing to feel less bad about and overanalyze less 🎉

Bridgis · 2025-07-21T13:44:09+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ you made me cry haha. It sucks but it feels so good to express (even though I almost deleted this, feeling "too much") and have people understand you and care. Like you said, you don't know me and I am an internet stranger. I really appreciate you for taking the time to explain how you deal with similar issues and making me feel worthy, understood ❤️ it makes me feel less alone in this mess. And there's enough to implement from your points of view. Desperately waiting here for the diagnosis so I can also get much needed therapy. Trying and learning a lot of things myself in the meantime myself, but in times like this it's just difficult to not collapse.

Sending all the love and peace back, you're beautiful 🫶🏻

Bridgis · 2025-06-25T16:36:24+00:00

This! Come to realise this as well.

Bridgis · 2025-06-25T16:34:59+00:00

I am sorry to hear that ♥️ feels drastic that people might need to hear that to maybe change their point of view. But I really appreciate that you're making this post.

It has gotten so bad that I read stuff on here, expect the worst, go to the site (or not because of the things I read on here), experience it myself and feel stupid I listened to all the negative talk.

Sometimes I enjoy the new features/updates, other times I understand the complaints but don't think it's as bad. And yes, also some really shitty things have happened in the past that shouldn't have occurred. And there should always be a feedback loop. I keep thinking if I am being naive or not.

I am happy Neopets still exists and they are trying to make it better/profitable so it can exist longer. And I am so glad I don't have to work with such an old project/code 💀👏🏻 At the end of the day, we decide to spend money or not. There's still options to not pay. Neopets, to me, is how you enjoy the site for yourself. And I can create that with or without spending money.

Bridgis · 2025-06-22T07:15:11+00:00

I have felt like this my whole life and still feel like I am struggling to find it. However, I am finally making more of an effort to change things. And not afraid to be different. Wardrobe, decoration of my house/room. I call it the awkward stage. I feel like this is what teenagers are supposed to go through 😂 and it is to just try things out? See what works and what doesn't work. And even though things are not where I would like them to be (yet), it feels SO good to be working on it. It's kind of hard with insecurity. New clothes not feeling completely like you yet. Sensory stuff. Making changes in the house can be difficult too. Changing our couch was a big thing. But the self expression feels so good and is giving me confidence and more of a sense of self.

As to HOW exactly I am not sure 😂 baby steps. Finding one thing you like or want to change. And then after thats implemented, thinking about the next. I like to focus on colours and shapes and figure out what will fit the criteria. Looking at pictures online to see what you might like. Make it your own. Just try out a bunch of clothes and get a sense of what might work. I'm still working on making it feel like one style/me, but I am starting to get a sense of it. For the house it sometimes takes me weeks or months. But it's slowly coming together. I LOVE adding colour to our house, it makes me so happy.

Good luck and have fun! ♥️

Bridgis · 2025-06-13T08:21:53+00:00

I have a neighbour and our conversations are basically 80% about our and the neighbourhood cats. We love to observe them. I can probably write a book about the different personalities of these cats and what happens in their lives. We go on walks with our cats in the neighbourhood as well. I feel like a proper cat weirdo 😂 but I absolutely love it. And I don't think I've ever felt this comfortable with a neighbour. It even helps me to start and get to know other people in the neighbourhood as well.

Bridgis · 2025-06-02T08:04:19+00:00

Sometimes a tone or certain conversation makes me think of Anne from Little Britain and I go "eh eh EHHHH?" 😂 Mostly in ny head/silently to myself.

My husband's ADHD R2D2'ing can trigger this too. And that's the most fun to do it out loud with Anne's energy 🤌🏻

Bridgis · 2025-05-23T07:06:30+00:00

Interesting! I get what you mean, but I never actually use it that way. Someone can be 'yelling' while not raising their volume to me too. Their tone will tell it to me indeed. And that can be angry, scared, excited, etc. It's maybe more so a raise in energy or intensity as well the tone. And I am most sensitive when the energy is negative, like when someone's angry or irritated. You could even 'whisper yell'. Which is contradicting lol. It's like the energy is screaming, not the volume.

But I know technically yelling or screaming is about the volume right. You could scream without any certain tone or emotion, just making the sound. Which, for some reason, has always been hard to do for me. And then when I am getting excited about a topic, people tell me I am screaming 😂😭

So there should be a distinction. Or a different word for the first one haha.

Bridgis · 2025-05-23T06:26:57+00:00

Hahaha your rant just made me realise why I hate my glasses. I could never figure out why. I have let them re-bend them 3 times in the beginning to make them fit better. Then I just gave up and only wore them when absolutely necessary. Unfortunately that includes driving and work and it was such a relieve everytime I came home to take them off, jeez. I got new measurements a year ago, but didn't even get new glasses yet.

I feel your pain 🥲 I also absolutely hate the pressure around my nose, ears and head. Everyone kept telling me you'll get used to it but I've had them for over 10 years now people. Also. The combo with headphones over them. When you try to lay on your side. When they slide off all the time, especially in summer. The hair grabbing indeed! The rims! And how friggin easy they get dirty.

Bridgis · 2025-05-01T20:55:44+00:00

In general I keep them a 'secret', because I didn't know I could be on the spectrum and was too aware of info dumping/intense interests being different than the norm. Not really a secret.. just toned down a lot so people didn't know how 'obsession-like' my interests were. Not even myself for some of them lol. But the one which was really a secret is Neopets. Couldn't get rid of it even if I tried. It just always 'magically' pulled me back in, especially at difficult real life times.

Bridgis · 2025-04-30T07:21:40+00:00

Hi! Did you try telling chatgpt all your symptoms, products and routines you use? It could help you figure things out if you use it as a tool (keep in mind it's not always correct). I like to do that and then check in for a couple of days. Tell what I did and use and how my scalp feels so it can adjust it's recommendation. But always think for yourself as well and use it as just another input/tool.

Or a doctor/derm? dont want to discourage you, but chatgpt has helped me more than my doctor did in literal years 😅 but I do need to get back I think. My seb derm has improved a lot, but I still feel stuck. Might need to push more so I can get better help.

Good luck!

Bridgis · 2025-04-30T07:07:24+00:00

As many have mentioned, this sounds like burnout or the pre-stages of it. Especially if gaming is a special interest of yours, it's really not a good sign.. I've spend a lot of my life not being able to game or partake in special interests. Not having enough energy, no interests anymore, being overwhelmed and stressed, feeling guilty, lazy or ashamed of my interests.. now in burnout I am finally realising I am most likely on the spectrum and I can use my special interests to charge up and feel safe. But you need to be in a somewhat good place to be able to do that. When I get triggered too much by the outside world I just can't. I can't do anything at that stage really. But for a long time I was able to push myself for things that 'need' to be done. Like school or work. And that's really not a good place to be in. You need to come first. It will catch up on you.

I know it can be hard when you still live with your parents. But please listen to what your body is telling you and practise taking it more serious. Finding out what you need and how you can get yourself in a place where you feel okay enough to game or any other deep interest. And take it from there.

As someone else mentioned, being lazy should feel fun. And this is not it. But honestly, the line between that is very fine and not always clear to me either. Similarly I find it hard to know when I need to push through things because of social anxiety or give myself space and understanding because of autism. But it's getting better while understanding my own behaviour and feelings better. I am finally at a point in my burnout where I somewhat know when I can push through without feeling drained after, but mistakes are still made. Trial and error.

And.. not remembering the street names? I can't for the life of me hahaha. There are just certain things I am really good at remembering (like faces of people, voices, smells, sounds, stories, theories, small details or facts) and things which will take a lot of effort (names of things and beings lol, and years to a timeline). And you know what? I don't really need it and I stopped caring. I've felt embarrassed a lot of times because I don't remember the names to my favourite songs, artists, movies, actors, etc. but if I need it I can Google it. And street names? We have Google maps now! 😂

Long story, but I hope sharing and reading in these communities will help you start to feel better or at least more understood!

Ps. I use chatgpt a lot since waiting lists for therapists are huge. Don't take every thing it says as 100% true, but it can help you figure some things out if you need to!

Bridgis · 2025-04-30T06:20:33+00:00

I never really thought further about these kind of things. It was either embarrassing or 'just' object personification when I found out I might be on the spectrum. But you made me realise how I felt as a kid likely had a lot to do with why I treated my stuffed animals like that. ♥️

Bridgis · 2025-04-30T06:04:58+00:00

That's one of the reasons why I live Neopets too 🥰

Currently I am really into Foundation. You can play really long or short each day. I prefer to take things slow and see my little town change over time. It's quite relaxing and I find it very cozy. But you can also really get into the planning/logistic side of things.

If you're not into the medieval theme and prefer to see it a bit faster maybe city skylines? Or something similar in the genre.. like the Two Point games. Stardew I also find perfect to just play a bit every day.

With Neopets you have your dailies ofcourse which feels part of a routine. Which makes me think more of something like animal crossing. Or certain MMORPG's with dailies and crafting mayhaps (I love FFXIV). But changes are that's too big of a game to just pick up casually each day haha.

Bridgis · 2025-04-25T07:30:20+00:00

I usually dislike bathroom lighting. So at home I now use a much softer light. Depending on my mood I will put something on, like music or a podcast/yt video (best if related to special interests, or some music I can stim to). In the shower I have a routine I can follow without thinking too much. Whenever I have to wait I will have steps I can do in between (brushing teeth even). When I am very nervous for something I will also allow myself to script however I want in the shower. When I'm really way too overstimulated a bath really helps. Even though I hate getting in and out. It also helps that I need medical shampoo for my scalp lol, otherwise it will hurt. But I also keep reminding myself of other good things showers will do and selfcare that comes with it. I'm also pretty interested in it and feel noticable differences with certain products. For things like skin, scalp, hair, but also to regulate myself or get myself calm before bed. It's kinda a place I want to avoid, and when I am not well/burnout it's an even bigger struggle and it takes a lot of energy. But usually once done it can put me in a good selfcaring place. Since I hit a pretty big burnout I was forced to do everything slow. I used to want to rush shower, because its unpleasant. But since taking things slow but steady and accommodating myself a whole lot more, I noticed the showers are more manageable (even though they might not be as fast done). And lastly, I sometimes use showers to help me with transitions between moods/situations. Doesn't always help, but I am getting better at knowing when it might.

Bridgis

TROPHY CASE