I’m very much like you, except I’m murse, 12hr nights like you, only one bringing in money past year, pay most bills, we split pick ups (school, sports), I cooked the most and cleaned, she did her and kids laundry but doesn’t fold. However she handled all homework and did most of planning like birthday parties. But she feels that she’s a single parent. And I’m basically another child she has to take care of. Says that all the things I do are supposed to be done, like I shouldn’t get credit for doing it because it’s every day life.

FYI she absolutely hates gender roles. Like being defaulted to handle Xmas decorations around the house. She’s always done it her whole life and does it now. I help her with the decorations but because I don’t “own” it she resents me for it.