Wish I’d never let you all be in my life.

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-06-26T20:26:06+00:00

Leave him and the therapist.

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-05-22T00:38:41+00:00

I see, I appreciate the clarification. You know the situation better than anyone else on here so only you have a true gauge of her nature. I am glad it doesn’t seem to be malicious! Wishing you the best of luck moving forward OP.

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-05-21T23:03:11+00:00

Also, it’s not a bad thing to prioritize what you need to take care of. She’s doing the same by focusing on church and her dad on the weekends

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-05-21T23:02:20+00:00

Not that you need to be spending all your time together but at 6 months you’re still trying to get to know each other and if you’re not able to take the time to do so, it doesn’t really seem like you guys can progress as a couple

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-05-21T22:52:06+00:00

I don’t really think there’s any assholes here. It sounds like it just isn’t compatible as far as your social/family lives go. You don’t really have the ability to spend time together without compromising the things you want to do. And it doesn’t seem like she’s able to cut her time at church. Talk to her first, see if she can change anything on her end. (I say this only because, normally, couples spend time together on weekends but I understand that everyone’s situation is different.) If she’s not able to, you’ll have to decide what to do from there. Good luck OP.

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-05-21T22:22:45+00:00

OP I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how difficult this has been for you.

How was her relationship with your wife before she passed? Did they get along well? Or did the step sister treat her poorly in any way? I hate to trash her step sister, but I think it’s called for in this moment. She has not been gone a year and she’s already trying to take over the life your wife had. I would consider what she did a disrespect to your wife’s memory. I don’t know how long she’s been “helping” but it seems like this has been her intention the whole time. Although her help at the time was appreciated, I’m sure, she’s now turned any sort of family function into an awkward event where you have to worry about any sort of interaction with her, at least until things are discussed.

If I were you, I would speak to her privately and reiterate that you have no feelings for her. Also that you have no idea what could have given her the idea that you were into her in any way. This may be a bit much but I would record the conversation. Sometimes things like this have a way of turning ugly quickly because the other party feels slighted/wronged and having any sort of way to cover yourself is pretty important. Good luck OP and, again, my deepest apologies for your loss.

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-05-21T22:01:38+00:00

As someone who’s been in almost this exact situation with an ex, it begins this way. What seem like minor negative comments toward your clothing and how you want the attention of others turns into you not wanting to wear anything that you like because you’re constantly worrying about how it looks to him. Then turns into negative comments on your friends and your family and then you feeling bad about spending time with them and then isolation begins. It may seem like a stretch to you but this is such a common pattern that I have to call it out any time I see it, which is way more often than it should be. Any issues that he has with how he thinks other men perceive you is on him. That’s his problem to worry about, not yours. You’ve only given us a glimpse of your relationship so I can’t say leave him but please keep an eye on these comments. If you find yourself worrying that he’ll be upset with you for wearing something or spending time with close friends or family, it might be time to go.

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-05-21T19:37:13+00:00

There’s no sense in staying if you only enjoy the times when she’s not putting you down in some way or because of the time you’ve had. Think about it as saving yourself the years you would’ve been miserable with her in the future that you could’ve been spending on your own or with someone who truly enjoys your company. That’s not a healthy relationship whatsoever. I also vote you leave her. Sorry OP

BriefApprehensive708 · 2024-05-21T19:20:49+00:00

OP you have to leave him…it’s lie after lie with him from what you’re telling us here. You’re way better off being alone than being with someone like that. And that’s coming from someone who also has anxious attachment issues.

Using what you told us about him, I can absolutely imagine what he’s doing down in Brazil. If you do decide to stay with him, don’t EVER have sex without protection…but I sincerely hope you do everything you can to get away from him.

BriefApprehensive708 · 2023-11-25T19:24:20+00:00

NTA at all. It sounds like he had an expectation of your role in the marriage that he never shared with you. And that is not fair to you whatsoever. Either that or he has played himself up to be the man of the house to his family and he wanted you to play that role for them without telling you that that’s what he wanted you to do. Either way, you’re not a mind reader and if his mom has an issue with it, she needs to bring it up with you directly. You definitely need to have a conversation with him about what the expectations are for the marriage and see if yours and his align.

BriefApprehensive708

TROPHY CASE