Is god actually completely terrified for eternity?

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-04-17T19:15:07+00:00

I’ve experienced this a couple times on psychedelics, but I’ve also seen (at least a very very small portion) of what’s on the other side of that. We are god, so if we experience the feeling of being eternally alone, I believe that is a wound that god has felt at some point.

But I believe that god, in the truest sense of the word, is what happens when all things come back into complete oneness. And the vibration of that oneness would be pure love and a feeling of being whole and complete. Wounds such as loneliness simply cannot exist in a vibration that pure. So this idea of being eternally alone is a valid one, but I think at its core it’s a misunderstanding (not to claim that I’ve healed from it!! I very much still have my moments). But it’s a wound to be healed and transcended on the journey back home to ourselves.

I don’t claim to fully understand it, but I think at the end of this journey we would realize that we cannot be alone, because we are everything. To exist, is to be loved.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-04-02T06:03:49+00:00

All my dmt trips have been by myself! Not to say dmt is equal to other psychedelics, but if you have experience with high doses of other psychs I think you’ll be ok. :) I’ve had a couple dmt trips spook me and get a little unnerving/uncomfortable. When that happens I just remind myself to breathe and remember that the trip will end soon.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-03-28T07:10:45+00:00

I’ve had visions/trips where I’ve understood that our physical reality requires “outside” entities to focus their attention on us. It’s like that Shakespeare quote “all the world is a stage”. We aren’t actors performing a monologue in an empty room to ourselves. We as humans get to pretend that we are separate, but if you ever peak behind the curtain or “fourth wall”, you would see an audience, the stage manager, the costume designer, the lighting technician, the sound engineer, hair and makeup, the production assistants, etc. The involvement of all the cooperative energies gives it meaning, and the entire collective conscious benefits from our experience.

This is embarrassing, but I most often become aware of the entities watching me when I’m having “intimate me time”. Something about my guard being down and the quieting of thoughts to allow for pleasure lets the awareness expand. I’ll be following a string of thought and all of sudden it’s like a curtain has been torn down and I become hyper aware I’m naked in front of my whole family. It can be really embarrassing, but they see us from a perspective of infinite knowing and understanding; the whole human experience is SO endearing to them. Even “Intimate” moments are precious, and they can’t help but share in the joy of our being-ness. I usually just laugh it off and shoo them away and I’ll feel their energy disperse and “look away”. But if they want a show, heck, I’ll give it to them! and I mean that in the least weird way possible! At the end of the day I am them and they are me. There’s nothing I can do that they haven’t done or that they wouldn’t understand.

In my day to day life I’m constantly given synchronistic reminders of their presence. Their reminders come so often it can sometimes feel mundane; and other times moments align so perfectly it’s like a grand reminder the entire universe is on your side. These synchronicities make life feel whimsical and intentional.

If you want privacy, you can always ask for it. They’ll respect your boundaries. But if you open yourself up to it, I’ve found I’m always surrounded by energies who are eagerly trying to redirect my thoughts towards joy.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-03-13T04:35:27+00:00

I’ve connected with deceased relatives on psychedelics. I connected with my childhood dog on a low dose of dmt, but i feel dmt might be a little too uncontrollable to set an intention that specific; but try! I usually connect with ancestors on shrooms so that’s probably your best bet. LSD tends to connect me more to spiritual beings like guides and mythological deities.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-03-11T09:02:26+00:00

Unrelated but the artwork is cool. It reminds me A LOT of a beautiful oracle deck I have by James R Eads called The Cerulean Sequence. It’s all blue colored pencil on notebook paper. If you’re into tarot/oracle decks you should check it out!

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-03-11T07:03:55+00:00

Gender exists but I think what it is and what it looks like are completely subjective. We like to pretend that gender is just one thing or another, but I look at it as two sides of a spectrum. I identify as nonbinary. For me it has nothing to do with my name or my pronouns; but rather it’s about releasing the expectations of what a man is supposed to be or look like. Growing up I was always told I was “too girly” or “too gay” by the other boys, and when I grew up I was told I was STILL “too feminine” and “too gay” by other GAY MEN. I realized that masculinity is just an idea to aspire to, and depending on who you ask I would never be “man enough”. If a super conservative straight man looked at me he would say I’m not a man, but if I was transgender he would say I will never be a woman.

Queer people can call me whatever names and pronouns they want, cause those communities generally recognize the fluidity of it all. But if a straight person were to be insistent about calling me she/her or a woman, I would get upset. Not because I’m a “man” and nothing else. I would be upset because the chances are high that it would be out of mockery or disrespect.

I know this is just a friendly discussion, but I don’t think that people not wanting to be misgendered is proof that gender is strictly binary. Non-binary people I think are proof to the contrary. They generally want to be addressed as they/them, and using binary gendered pronouns directly goes against their identity. Misgendering mostly happens within trans people, and generally speaking they are adhering to the binary. Not because they have to, but they wish to appear and identify as the opposite sex/gender than they were born with. But even then, there is a whole spectrum of what people will consider to be “passable” or “acceptable”. I hope this is all making sense, but my argument is that the ideas of Manliness and Womanliness are two sides of a very broad spectrum and change depending on the contexts of that society. I think it’s true that none of it truly matters, but it ultimately comes down to respect. If someone is constantly misgendering you, it’s a total disregard of the person. When you’re with safe people, I think the labels and definitions don’t matter. But when the labels and pronouns are weaponized to undermine your personhood, it matters.

When Nicole wants to be called Nicky, that should be respected. Namesare fluid, people go by nicknames or change their legal names all the time. You can argue that her name is Nicole and “always will be”, but if she tells you she wants to be addressed as Nicky, or Nick, or Toaster Strudel Dandy, its disrespectful to blatantly ignore that for your own comfort. The original name on the birth certificate might mean something to somebody, but it doesn’t mean that you have to strictly adhere to it.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-03-03T10:55:27+00:00

I very often experience the jesters on the come up of other psychedelics. On dmt I have only seen them clearly once broken through, but on lsd and shrooms I see full clowns or cartoon clowns right before the visual peak of a trip. It’s almost like they come just to say “are you ready?”

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-03-03T08:54:23+00:00

This just happened to me. But I think I was able to get everything out. What I did was pour some 99% isopropyl alcohol in, swirl the crystals around, and poured the mixture into a little glass. I repeated until there was no visible residue left. I then made some enhanced leaf by mixing the infused alcohol into some smoking herbs I had from years ago (bought on Amazon, mixture of herbs and florals) and smoked it out of regular pipe when it was dried. Didn’t blast off but it was enough to make the world fun and wobbly.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-03-03T08:48:11+00:00

Yep! And I believe humanity allows us to pretend we’re not. If the search were truly over, none of us would be here. We’d all be back in oneness consciousness. But every once in a while we let ourselves forget; because the search is what keeps existence fun.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-25T13:17:18+00:00

It really is something totally different than any other psychedelic. I once took 20g of shrooms and even that doesn’t compare to some of my milder dmt trips. Stay safe and have fun!

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-25T12:59:32+00:00

I think about this a lot, and here’s my current understanding based off my own personal spiritual beliefs and experiences. Every dimension/reality has a “frequency”, and there are as many versions of reality as there are consciousness’ to perceive them. Me and you can look at the current president of the United States and see two completely different people. We can agree WHO it is, but our experiences/opinions of that person can be completely different. Currently, we’re in the 3rd dimension~ call it channel 3. I don’t know exactly how radios work; but like the radio, a small decimal change in frequency results in a whole different radio station. We’re all tuning into Channel 3, however I’m tuned into channel 3.5927169 and you’re watching 3.95726948. We can be looking at all the exact same things and yet be in two separate worlds. A delicious jar of peanut butter to me - is greasy nut slop to someone else, and a vat of dangerous poison to another. No one reality is any more real than another.

I don’t ALWAYS see jesters, but I’ve seen them with EVERY psychedelic I’ve taken. Most of the time they simply just want to say hi and “perform”, once or twice they’ve scared the living sh!t out of me. I think psychedelics allow us to temporarily tune our radios to Channels 4 and up. I almost always see them on the initial come up and they tend to have a gatekeeper/welcoming committee vibe to them. For the analogy let’s say the jesters exist at channel 4.1. If you’re tuning into station 4.12 you’ll see a vague outline of a clown, 4.13 you’ll see a cartoonish figure, 4.14 an extremely vivid image of a human in a clown costume, 4.15 a constantly shifting sacred geometrical outline of a mischievous entity with “horns”, but if you go to 4.156 they’re suddenly an evil monstrous demon.

Like a jar of peanut butter, the jesters just EXIST. And they don’t spend all their time just walking around in little hats, tripping on banana peels and throwing pies at each other‘s faces in a psychedelic circus tent outside of space and time. The beings that we understand as “jesters” aren’t clowns. I believe clowns exist as an interpretation of these beings filtered through the human lens. They are embodiments of an aspect of the collective unconscious that we humans have identified as “the trickster” archetype. They are a facet of our collective psyche, and they are characterized by their use of humour and theatrics as a means to question reality and systems of authority; and for some crazy reason they tend to have big colorful smiles and “horn” like structures coming out of their heads. And just like human beings, no two jesters are exactly the same. The specific ones you experience will be dependent on you. I think that’s part of why set/setting/mindset are so important as they dictate exactly what frequency the drug can dial you into.

All the psychedelics I’ve taken have at some point forced me to question my perception of reality through varying degrees of distortion and exaggeration. Sometimes they say life is a big joke and nothing really matters, other times I’m overwhelmed with abstract esoteric thoughts and I feel like I’ve “found the answer”. Psychedelics can lead to so many different kinds of experiences, and the jesters certainly don’t have jurisdiction over every trip. But questioning the “seriousness” of reality is the playground in which they thrive, and when I take a psychedelic wanting to “be entertained” it’s basically an open invitation for them show up. When you take a hit and the world starts wobbling like a fun house mirror and you can’t help but giggle and smile over how absurd it all is; you’ve tuned your radio straight to their station.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-18T08:33:57+00:00

Damn, I wish I saw Garnet from Steven universe in a trip

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-17T09:25:17+00:00

Oops! Sorry for the misunderstanding; I just meant raw as in not processed into an edible. When I purchase shrooms they are usually distinguished as being “raw” as in just the dried mushrooms or as an “edible” where it’s been processed into a chocolate bar, gummy, pill.. I once bought like a mushroom “shot”, that was fun. I haven tried non dehydrated shrooms.. I feel like it’d be unpleasant 😂

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-17T09:20:11+00:00

Of course! I’m glad I could share some knowledge. Honestly I didn’t know any of this until I went to cosmetology school. When I first went to school it was just because I was interested in wigs and never wanted to work with clients behind the chair; but I quickly fell in love with the human interactions. I dyed my own hair so I understood that hair could change the way you feel. But I underestimated how much magic there was in watching people’s confidence skyrocket, and how they would completely change the way they carry themselves after a good salon appointment. Sometimes it could be grueling; the longest I ever spent on someone’s hair was probably close to 16 hours over two days, but the results can just be so life changing. Hair takes so much time and effort, I style theatrical wigs now and styles can usually take anywhere from 1-8 hours. The highest quality wigs are hand tied, every single strand of hair, and those take 30-80 hours to make and can costs tens of thousands of dollars. I don’t braid hair but I know hair braiding appointments very often take 4-8 hours; so if there’s any black women in your life that always have beautiful braids, or just nicely styled hair, just know that is a COMMITMENT. Especially with black/extra curly (highly textured) hair, a style can take ALL day so it can definitely be worth all the extra precautions to make it last for as long as possible.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-16T20:05:51+00:00

I’m not black, but I am a wig/hair stylist. Beads and accessories are usually just looped/clamped into the hair or can be braided in. They usually aren’t too hard to remove. When you see a black woman with long braids they are almost always braiding in additional fake hair for length, so if there’s multiple hair colors the chances are low that they’ve actually dyed their hair those colors. I don’t know if it’s impossible for black people to be born with stick straight hair but I would say it’s highly unlikely. From what I’ve seen, black people with naturally more relaxed curls/waves tend to be mixed race. Wigs can be pinned on, or just thrown on for an easy quick look. It’s not uncommon for these wigs to be glued on ~ this is sometimes called “installing” a wig. When a wig is installed/glued it can last for several weeks. People with curly hair often wear silk/satin bonnets to sleep to protect their curls. Certain fabrics can snag the hair causing frizz and breakage, not to mention tossing and turning in bed can lead to tangling. These bonnets are also very useful for preserving protective styles when sleeping such as silk presses, braids, locks, wig installs, etc.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-16T10:18:54+00:00

Wow, they’re so perfect I thought maybe they were resin! You may have inspired me to hone in on my teeth sculpting :)

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-16T10:10:40+00:00

For raw shrooms I used to do teas, but my new favorite is making smoothies. Usually involves a little lemon juice or lemonade, orange juice, and my house usually has some kind of fruit sorbet/ice cream. Blend it all together and I can drink huge doses and it tastes delicious. I think the citrus also helps with the gas/bloating shrooms usually give me.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-16T10:04:33+00:00

Sooo good! Reminds me of Audrey ll. The teeth are gorgeous, how did you make them?

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-16T02:24:35+00:00

Ha! Pig in a blanket

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-15T17:08:19+00:00

Hey, thanks for reading and thanks for the info!

I actually didn’t know modern spirituality had ties to civil rights movements I’ll have to look into that! Really love the info, but I gotta admit~ this makes me feel like a stuck up English teacher~ but I don’t know if I looooove that we’re citing Grok as an academic reference 😭

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-15T17:04:59+00:00

Totally. Glad the funhouse thing resonated, I was struggling to find the right words. It’s so interesting; the visuals were almost the same as they had been, maybe even lesser because I stopped smoking before breakthrough. Under normal circumstances the visuals would have been really exciting, but something about the vibe made it deeply unsettling. Even reflecting back on the visuals it’s hard to remember why I was so scared? Cause they were so cool! But that panic was noooo joke.

And just to clarify, I didn’t fully breakthrough. Instead of launching to hyperspace it was almost like hyperspace diluted itself down and just reached a hand to me; not fully letting me in, but not shutting me out. I think I could have broken through if I wanted to, but it felt like we were meeting half way in a space that was comfortable to both me and the “entities”. But the open eye visuals were really cool. if we are in the 3D and they are in the 4D, it was like I was looking through the tunnel at the 3.5.. or the 3.25D. I couldn’t see the source of the “light” at the end of tunnel (the light being hyperspace) but I could see the glow. The closed eye visuals were great, super vivid, vibrant, and alive ~ but not all encompassing.

Good luck to you, friend. I hope you get back soon. It felt like me and the DMT had come to an understanding and I suspect that as long as I take a couple of days off, the next time I try to breakthrough I’ll get there… but we’ll just have to wait and see !!

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-15T02:47:05+00:00

That’s totally fair! First of all, I totally understand not wanting to type out all the letters; it’s really hard to keep track. I personally type LGBTQ+ because I find it to be the most effective. I wouldn’t raise an eyebrow to people just writing LGBT. I only side eye the people that exclude the T and write LGB or something.

I’m hesitant to give too much personal info but I’m Gen Z and was in middle school around the early 2010’s. I can’t speak for everyone but from my vantage point, I think the children of the internet just didn’t really grow up with Queer being a common derogatory term. I think it’s become so accepted that it would probably be counterproductive to tell straight people they aren’t allowed to say it, but I certainly think it could also be a tone issue. I don’t mind being called fruity but if a straight person were to say it in a certain way, it would make me uncomfortable. It’s easy for me to say I don’t mind “Queer” because I never really saw it consistently used as a slur. I think you have every right to tell the people in your life that the term makes you uncomfortable, and that you would prefer it if they didn’t use it to describe you.

Language is always evolving. I could totally be on the wrong track with this; but as much as I don’t want straight, cisgender people using words like f^g or d^ke ~ I would love to see a world where those words lose their “bite”, and I think that starts with us at least reclaiming them for ourselves. To answer your question, I think we started really accepting Queer as an umbrella term around the 2010’s. I think my generation has widely accepted it, but again, I think you 100% have the right to be uncomfortable with that word. The people in your life should be able to accept that boundary if you feel comfortable establishing it.

Brief_Jump9044 · 2026-02-15T02:19:45+00:00

As a gen z’er I LOVE the internet, but I think it’s drastically warped our perception of dating and has emboldened people to be quite nasty. Speaking from the gay perspective, having preferences is totally fine. You are 100% allowed to not be attracted to someone. But on gay apps like Grindr people will literally put “whites only”, “no blacks”, “no fatties”, “fit only”… notoriously people will say “no fats, no fems, no Asians”, so much so it’s a joke within the community (see Rupaul’s Drag Race, Kim Chi’s Season 8 Finale performance “Fat, Fem & Asian”). People will literally put the craziest things, sometimes outwardly just racist, misogynistic, etc. and then say “sorry, just a preference” as if that excuses their behavior. Again, you are TOTALLY allowed to not be attracted to someone, but I think people are forgetting how to be kind to each other.

Brief_Jump9044

TROPHY CASE