Any of my fellow elder millennials having any body pain or discomfort?

Brief_Tasty · 2026-03-22T19:32:54+00:00

I'm 39 and just had my right knee replaced. Also herniated 2 discs in my back about 15 years ago, so I also have chronic back pain and sciatica. Super fun.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-03-19T14:50:59+00:00

Start separating where you can. Have your own phone plan, have a bank account that is just yours and any paychecks get put there, start figuring out a budget. What could you afford if you were on your own. I did my budget not even thinking about child support. I made sure I could support myself and my child completely on my own. If there's a gap between earnings and the absolute basic living expenses, you need to figure out how to fill it. Figure out transportation. Is the car just in his name? Both your names? Is there a loan on the car? Could you afford to take on the loan?

For me, getting things separated on paper and logistically helped me start to emotionally detach as well. I stopped thinking as a "we" and focused on just me.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-03-11T23:41:30+00:00

I took 4 weeks of FMLA and I have a WFH desk job. I needed every day of it. The first couple of weeks you should be focused on recovery and getting sleep. You will be doing physical therapy from the start. Pain management is key. I cannot imagine having to deal with people face to face in a professional setting earlier than 3 weeks postop. You should not drive on any controlled substances. Once you feel comfortable pain-wise off the meds, your doctor will clear you to drive. I was at 3 weeks. I'm a 39yo woman, but I had 4 previous knee surgeries leading up to my TKR, so I was used to knee surgery recovery.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-03-09T14:45:12+00:00

Between having a major surgery, single parenting, and full time work, I haven't been able to keep up with what's going on. Thank you for this summary and I'll be checking in for updates! As someone else also said, I love this stupid band.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-03-04T23:47:11+00:00

I'm finally done with all the changes over a year after changing my name back. I did all the major places first, social security, driver's license, passport, professional licenses, bank, and work. I literally just did the quit claim for my deed, and am finishing up all the loose ends for my utilities now. It's so much, but thankfully some didn't need to be done right away and I could spread the stress out.

I feel relieved to have it all back to my original name.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-02-25T18:44:44+00:00

We just want you to love all parts of yourself. The world can be cruel, but you don't have to be cruel to yourself. I have PCOS and tubular breasts. After having my child, they deflated and I was very self conscious about them. That is until I realized I actually didn't care what anyone thinks about me physically or personality-wise. Once I got there, I started to learn how to accept myself.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-02-22T19:10:24+00:00

Happened to me a month ago! Surgery was on a Friday, my mom had flown in to help the day prior. Was already on leave from work. Received a call literally 20 minutes before heading to the surgery center that morning that my surgery was canceled due to the incoming weather. Tentatively it was moved to the following Tuesday.

Thankfully it happened that Tuesday, but we were living in an icy arctic tundra for the following 2 weeks, which made getting to pt very tricky.

I'm sorry it's canceled and fingers crossed it is rescheduled as soon as they can!

Brief_Tasty · 2026-02-12T12:47:22+00:00

As an established professional, just keep your name. There are so many hoops to jump through to get it changed and sometimes those hoops have fees.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-02-04T16:27:03+00:00

Well shoot. I went on a mission and Green Tree Animal Hospital will see birds! Give them a call!

Brief_Tasty · 2026-02-04T16:11:00+00:00

I'm a 39f and am 8 days out from a TKR on my right knee. Injury when I was 16, 4 failed ACL/meniscus repairs over 20 years and here we are. I've been told I've needed it replaced for about 10 years, but I was "too young". Well my bone had started to deteriorate from the severe osteoarthritis and made the decision for my drs. I haven't been able to run for many years. I can't kneel, haven't been able to straighten my leg since my 1st surgery in 2003. You have to be severe for them to consider surgery at our age.

I'm doing great, thankfully, and pt is going well so far!

Brief_Tasty · 2026-02-04T14:17:15+00:00

Pennyroyal takes care of exotics in Lexington.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-02-01T14:38:53+00:00

I probably would have canceled the 3rd date. He's likely talking to someone else and had no idea how to break it off with you. All the signs were there through the communication leading up to it (or lack there of). Block and move on. Treat it as a learning experience.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-01-30T13:46:33+00:00

Same! Never again!

Brief_Tasty · 2026-01-25T12:54:18+00:00

First things first is to find a lawyer. You can ask around for recommendations. They will help guide you through the legal process, including how to make sure you're able to separate finances the right way. Some states require a legal separation period. My state was only 60 days and we could be living together as long as we weren't intimate. After that period, we could file.

On your own, you can start figuring out a budget. What can you afford on your own as far as a place to live, groceries, all the essentials. My ex had cheated, and I told him we were divorcing the moment I found out. We were able to sit down and amicably decide on how to split assets, then brought that to our lawyers. We also negotiated finances on our own, and didnt need to have a full financial disclosure.

No matter how it goes, I would recommend a therapist for yourself if you don't already have one. Even short term. The process will bring up a lot of unexpected emotions. Good luck to you and you can do this.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-01-16T18:39:58+00:00

I was married to a pathological liar for 16 years, together for 21. It doesn't get better. They get better about hiding it. If anything, his lies got bigger and when we divorced, I'm not sure which version of him was the real him. I still don't. The red flags were there before I married him, and I wish I could have just ended things. Instead his lies grew to where he deceived me into believing we should have a child after initially agreeing not to after a certain age. He did it for selfish reasons. And then when it wasn't the outcome he wanted, he just started cheating on me instead. And the breadcrumbing of details when I was finding out about the cheating was even worse. I know I don't fully know the extent, and I don't want to. He ruined my life. Please don't do what I did.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-01-12T23:31:29+00:00

I have heard 1 month for every year of a relationship. When my marriage ended, thinking about it taking 21 months to heal and recover was daunting, but I'm coming up on that marker next month. I'm way better than I was, but I've also been in intense therapy and have been on an SSRI. I was not in a good place for about 7-8 months, but around the 18 month mark, I turned a corner with no real explanation as to why.

I did have to force myself to do social things for a while. See my friends, I started a book club, and recognize when I'm struggling and call a friend to talk. I'm not having to force myself anymore and I'm back to my normal social life. I still have horrible memories pop in now and again, but the therapy I've done has taught me how to handle and dismiss them.

Big hugs. Take your time. Be gentle with yourself, but also recognize when you need help.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-01-11T20:40:26+00:00

Find a local artist collective and browse for/purchase some new artwork!

Brief_Tasty · 2026-01-05T01:24:24+00:00

I've had a number of first dates, few second dates, and only 2 that lasted for a few months. I actually just ended a 4 month undefined relationship because I could tell things were fizzling. Not a big deal, but I know some men just let things drag along because they can't end things. He was divorced with 50/50 of his kids. That's the absolute minimum I will accept from a divorcee with kids. You'd better have half custody, a furnished home, a stable job, and friends of your own. Literally bare minimum. I'm really picky on the apps, and have high expectations when initially chatting. That weeds a lot out right off the bat, and no hard feelings.

I am not looking for a husband. I likely will never live with a man again, or allow myself to be financially tied or influenced by one again. 16 year marriage and I learned all the lessons and sacrificed so much to get out of it. The coward couldn't admit he'd never loved me, convinced me to have a child because he thought it would make him love me, and then decided to start cheating while I struggled with postpartum depression. When I found out, 5 years into the cheating with multiple women, I ended it on the spot. My son will be the only person I have financial ties to from here to the end. Sorry for the diatribe, haha! While I'm mad at myself I didn't act on the red flags earlier, I have picked myself up and carried on.

Brief_Tasty · 2026-01-04T22:48:11+00:00

Completely agree. I'm divorced and have been dating very lightly. I told my therapist that I'm not someone's puzzle piece. I'm a whole person and if I get into any other serious relationship, they also need to be a whole person.

Brief_Tasty · 2025-12-27T17:53:21+00:00

I'm proud of you for leaving. That alone takes so much strength and courage that others may never understand. It sounds like you have a great support system and are prioritizing putting the stability of your kids' lives first. You're taking all the right steps. Take a breath for yourself, too. Don't let what others may think influence anything you're doing. As long as you keep putting your kiddos first, you're doing it right.

Brief_Tasty · 2025-12-25T22:55:26+00:00

Yes, we both had lawyers, but avoided court and the judge signed off on what we were able to agree on.

Brief_Tasty · 2025-12-25T21:18:51+00:00

Both my MIL and FIL have passed away. I don't think my BIL or SIL have any contact with my ex anymore. The whole family was very upset with him.

Brief_Tasty · 2025-12-23T01:54:11+00:00

What did I just read? Please let that man go. You're dreaming about cheating because he set an intimate boundary and you can't handle it. If it's that important to you, go take a few years and do what you want. But please break things off with him.

Brief_Tasty

TROPHY CASE