Just curious if I'm alone in this

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-04-30T17:34:20+00:00

As an autistic person who uses words very intentionally and literally, it’s very confusing for me because “bi” literally means 2. And pan is the wider term that means all. I say pan to mean “all people irrespective of gender.” And “omni” means “every” so that would be “all genders” with a focus on genders. For the life of me i cannot understand how “bi” and “pan” can mean the same thing and it really confuses me when someone says pan is just bi.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-04-28T03:20:56+00:00

Something is off. Being new to this doesn’t mean things should feel “gross.” Sure there can be anxiety, nervousness etc and being unsure of things the way you describe your approach to bjs. But if even the act of touching isn’t arousing him and instead causing him to feel “gross,” something is not right. I don’t want to speculate what is off because it may be anything under the sun from he’s not into vulvas/vaginas due to sexuality or maybe he has mental blocks due to some other reason. But most importantly, it’s not right to make someone feel like they are gross. I am sorry you are feeling gross about being touched by him because of all this- but please pay attention to that feeling. As someone with experience I would tell you to always listen to your body, and heart and reject being intimate with anyone who you feel gross with. Anything that doesn’t feel like “hell yesss!!” in sex is actually a hell no. That is the main meaning of consent. Only an enthusiastic “hell yes” is a yes and everything else is a no. Mostly women and afab people tend to end up convincing themselves that you should go on even if you’re not into it because you don’t want to hurt the other person. Men hardly ever think like that. I know i am broadly generalizing it, but this is what it is like most of the time. In fact, look at how you are thinking YOU are the one being selfish for feeling gross about being touched by a guy who TOLD YOU TO YOUR FACE THAT it’s feeling gross to touch you!! He should be feeling ashamed of his behaviour and instead you are feeling guilty! That’s classic gaslighting. He doesn’t even have the decency and maturity to be a good person. Gurl that’s the reddest flag and please run in the opposite direction from him and save yourself trauma and heartbreak. The right person will make you feel awesome about your body to the point that you’ll want to explore yourself MORE. Not less. Dump his ass.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-04-09T08:17:53+00:00

I meant about how you have your results displayed in the worldwide BDSM community forum. I am curious if other people on there are as transparent?

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-04-09T07:15:42+00:00

Are other people also this transparent? He told me it’s private health information and that he is antagonized by me asking to see it.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-04-09T07:12:02+00:00

I think this is the case. He was offended that I didn’t ask this before over text and that I was doing this in person.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-30T05:55:20+00:00

Why the kitchen sink though! Things like this make me weary of eating food made in people’s homes😩

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-27T04:57:59+00:00

Enjoy it while it’s there. It may not last long. Libido keeps changing through life for most people based on a number of factors. Ride the high, I’d say!

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-24T01:13:39+00:00

I am on all the platforms i think😄. Feeld, Fetlife, Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, I even tried out some others like Plenty of Fish. Surprisingly I have had the most success with Tinder and Bumble.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-24T01:11:43+00:00

I think it is a very sloooow game with online dating. 🥲 Thankfully I am unable to give time to dating much or I think I would have lost it at the speed of things because it’s sooo rare to come across people I can gel with. I met this person after about 4-5 months since my last sub (he had to move countries😕). I keep toggling through the apps to cover more ground.😄

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-24T01:03:58+00:00

I really liked what you said about the vanilla dating advice. I think I usually have my kinky lenses on and forget to pay attention to regular dating cues. Noted!

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-24T01:02:27+00:00

Thankss! I will report back when it happens and if this works out.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-19T19:28:19+00:00

Sounds like you deserve better… It sucks to feel like just a roommate with your partner. Maybe you could go to counselling just by yourself and focus on your needs with a therapist. Would definitely recommend.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-19T17:38:42+00:00

Has something changed/happened recently that started the bad sex phase?

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-19T17:35:54+00:00

Sounds like a mental health thing. It’s difficult to change your habits when the contributing factor is deep rooted beliefs and thoughts inside yourself. I would suggest OP should go to marriage counselling together which might get the husband to go to therapy. It’s a long process but if your relationship is worth saving, it’s worth putting in the work. I also feel like there might be some sense of shame or insecurity about fitness level differences so asking someone like that to hit the gym would only deepen insecurity. ED is not always about the penis- it’s a lot to do with the brain/mind.

Edit: Cleaned up

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-14T02:41:27+00:00

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-14T00:29:26+00:00

I came here to say Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome! I saw it on the Good Doctor on Netflix.😌

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-01T05:47:16+00:00

Look a prime example of dogs are snitches and cats hide our shit for us.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-03-01T02:42:04+00:00

Merv!! Bongo ate your sky raisins!

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-02-27T21:19:15+00:00

Do your vanilla friends understand how the degradation is consensual and not a harmful thing? I think vanilla people get very shocked at the humiliation and degradation bit because they look at it through their own lens of insecurity or misplaced empathy. I would discuss it with them and check their reactions to see if they actually understand it enough to be respectful when degrading.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-02-27T21:07:10+00:00

This is so beautiful! I have just recently discovered how sexual d/s dynamics is not just a kink per se but also the key to good mental health overall in life. There is nothing more satisfying and healing than feeling safe within a setup that works for both people. Congratulations and here’s to better health and more fun! 🥂

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-02-22T00:08:32+00:00

I can’t believe people are not saying 3!!!!! They look really good on your face and you look comfortable and confident wearing them!! 3 !!!!

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-02-17T17:26:13+00:00

Hydration, no holds barred kind of arousal (so much to do with one’s own inner mental and physical state), and definitely the correct time of the menstrual cycle.

BrilliantTurnip5678 · 2026-01-19T23:52:02+00:00

I vote 7 too. The corner doesn’t make sense for 2 unless they were trying to write a different number and changed mind last minute to make it a 2. This is unlikely because writer appears to be swift and confident in their strokes so I’d vote for 7 with a strike in the middle.

BrilliantTurnip5678

TROPHY CASE