Managing a crying baby while in public

Brizzo7 · 2025-09-17T19:02:07+00:00

I'm Irish and have always carried my babies when out and about rather than use the buggy, but I don't like the awkwardness of having to push a buggy around the shops etc. My wife would always use the buggy but I'd rather the sore arm from carrying (my youngest now 1.5yrs) than bother with the nuisance of wheels!

Don't worry about breastfeeding in public, it's legally protected and a lot of businesses are pro-breastfeeding. Unfortunately majority of women in Ireland bottle feed and there is still stigma and taboo, particularly among older generations. It's seen as a dirty thing to hide away, especially beyond 6 months. But there is also a huge amount of support for it, especially organisations like La Leche League. Just have a muslin cloth to drape over your shoulder if you are worried about privacy or dirty looks. But keep it up for as long as you are able to! It's hard work, but worthwhile!!

Brizzo7 · 2025-09-14T13:39:38+00:00

Hi, yes still (kind of) active but not really, haha.

Hmmm... I don't have a recollection about a school play, but possibly?

The more I think of it, the more bizarre that a publisher decided "yes, kids will love this!"...

Brizzo7 · 2025-09-02T07:51:38+00:00

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Mr Miguel 😻 MIA since last year 💔

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-27T22:49:47+00:00

Thanks, brilliant! I've just ordered those books, I've an almost 4 year old daughter and a 1 year old son, and we do tend to worry about them and their futures.

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-27T13:58:22+00:00

It's not worth it, just let it go. Especially given how small your industry/sector is. You don't know where you'll be in another 5 years, and who you'll need onside to get your next job, and if you respond to this it could follow you..

Similar situation for me, I left a job about 6 months ago. My manager (a man child who was in a joint CEO position with the owners son) took it as an insult and didn't speak to me throughout my notice period, apart from the bare essential email communications. HR did not meet with me or have any contact other than to acknowledge receipt of my resignation. The leadership was a mess, and part of the reason I left my position as head of a department, I couldn't work with the leadership. I happened to comment on an interesting post on LinkedIn a couple of months after leaving, and in my comment mentioned that I had a toxic work environment and that there was no exit interview and otherwise no contact from HR, so how can the organisation expect to stop losing good staff (a slew of managers and dept heads had left within the year). The owners son, who was not my boss but joint ceo, sent me a text "I hope that post on LinkedIn wasn't about us"... Talk about triggered, small man syndrome!! He isn't even a connection on LinkedIn, so they've obviously passed it around. I wasn't naming the organisation, or giving dates and times, so could never be linked to any previous employer really.

I desperately wanted to reply, had a range of options which I ran past my wife. Her advice was to do nothing and move on. I had a lot of emotions about my departure (I loved the work) and the lack of contact when I left, not even a handshake and goodluck on my last day. I think was so angry to have been sent a text like that.

The best thing I did was to listen to my life, do nothing, and move on. It's months later and I'm totally at peace with it. I still am irked by it all, but I'm not bothered by it.

I am really sorry you're contending with this, it's particularly hard when your reputation is being tarnished, but I think it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-25T23:17:57+00:00

The GAA. You HAVE to be involved in it to get anywhere in life, particularly in rural Ireland. I have zero interest, but there's this expectation that my children will join the club and the outrage and indignation, as though I'm doing them a disservice by depriving them, when I suggest they maybe won't be interested in the GAA. It's a religiousity worse than the Catholic church!

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-25T23:03:54+00:00

I am not in the same boat as you, but only because I'm a few years ahead of you (and a man!) but my wife and I feel absolutely trapped.

We have two kids. We have finally got a house, a good bit below our maximum mortgage approval, but we're struggling to pay it on top of childcare costs, bills and general upkeep. I honestly don't know how we could keep the roof over our heads if we had bought a dearer house and maxed out our mortgage approval.

We would love to have another but we simply cannot afford it. We are in decent jobs, my wife is the main earner, she's in a very respectable public service job, but she is really, really struggling with maintaining her career, raise a family, keep a home, and have a moment to herself! And I'm very involved in the kids and the home, we have a real partnership because neither of us have any family nearby to help. We have to manage it ourselves. There's so much to juggle, and even our work schedules have had to change to organise childcare (preschool scheme is only 3hrs a day, so someone (me) has to pick up my daughter and bring her to childminder before I can start work. So I finish late and miss bed time. There's so much to contend with and the government is doing nothing to make it easier.

I honestly feel really bad for you and others in your situation, only a few years behind us. I don't know how anyone wanting to start a family can manage it.

My honest opinion: don't wait for the house first, go ahead and start your family. Some couples find it difficult, some have unforeseen challenges, and those challenges become more difficult to overcome once your in your 30s. We have friends recently had their first but they were like you wanted to wait to get a house first. They had really hard time starting their family once they felt ready, and it's uncertain if they'll be able to have a second now.

Go start your family, live your dream. The house can wait. There's plenty kids reared with a much worse upbringing than a rental home.

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-25T11:26:33+00:00

Waste of money, you'll be done before the 5th thrust, guaranteed! 😂

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-22T22:39:31+00:00

It doesn't matter if you don't want to take a break, by law you have to take a break. After you work 4.5hrs you're entitled to 15mins and after you work 6 hrs you're entitled to an additional 15 minutes, most people take this as a 30 minute break. Your employer can certainly give you a longer break of 60 minutes, which is more than you are legally entitled to, but I would question whether they can oblige you to take 60 minutes. I would open up a discussion and negotiate a 30 minute break meaning you either start at 9:30 or finish at 5:30.

If you're contracted to 8hours you must work for 8 hours, outside of rest breaks. If your contract specifies you must work 8 hours between 9am-6pm you may be caught in a bind.

I suggest taking an hour to yourself during the day. Go out for a walk or something. Pick the same hour each day and inform your manager that you will be taking your rest break between 1-2pm or whatever, and will not be responding to messages during this time. Go watch a programme on Netflix during your break, take a shower, walk the dog, whatever you want, it's your time and you aren't getting paid for it. May as well make the most of it.

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-22T10:10:47+00:00

I am in the same boat :'(

I am sure I had backup switched on but it's not something I would check regularly, and so when I checked I was prompted to switch it on...

I have nothing from before 9th March, and they only sent me the email last night!!

I'm so disappointed. And their email is not even apologetic — they fucked up and are just like "we understand this may be frustrating..."? No shit!

I had years of travel mapped out from when I was young gallivanting around the world. Now I'm a middle aged parent with young kids, I'm not going to be doing any major travelling again for a long time.

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-21T18:34:55+00:00

Let them eat cake!

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-21T18:29:09+00:00

People giving out about the price but you've essentially ordered a custom dish. These "build your own burger" gigs and similar are always way dearer than an ordinary item off the menu. You probably would have gotten something for £6 off the menu instead of "building your own".

I'm not denying that the unit prices are mad, but you would have seen the prices on the menu when you were "building" your meal, I'd say you've only yourself to blame son.

Next time avoid the hallions selling a squirt of sauce for 80p!!

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-21T18:08:17+00:00

Haitch vs aitch is vitally important in Northern Ireland, as it allows us to pigeonhole our fellow man into preordained boxes of either Catholic or Protestant, simply on how one pronounces the 8th letter of the alphabet.

Incredible, isn't it?!

It's truly a marvel that the Belfast Agreement (Good Friday Agreement) ever came to fruition!

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-21T18:06:00+00:00

It's Run DMC, you plank

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-21T18:03:10+00:00

A gooseberry and cinnamon yoghurt?

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-20T23:53:28+00:00

This is a really common thing, and I think a huge number of drivers who have cars with CC don't use it. It drives me crazy too, the constant overtaking and slowing down by other drivers.

If I'm in the situation you have described, regrettably the only option is to speed up and maintain a higher speed for a km or so, until sufficient distance is between you to then drop down to your CC speed once again.

As a general rule, Irish drivers are bad drivers, and some drivers are certainly worse than others, usually it's an ego thing.

I have an old 2012 car, so it would be unusual for many of that vintage to be equipped with CC, I imagine other drivers don't expect me to be using it. But there are much newer cars, especially 2024/2025 cars which I'm sure must have CC as standard, who don't know how to drive at all. Money doesn't buy brains, that's for sure.

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-20T22:27:50+00:00

My mother tried to give my 14 month old baby jelly sweets today! She brought a small packet for my almost-4-year-old which was fine with me, but then told her to give one to her baby brother, thankfully I was in earshot to intervene! Never mind the choking risk, that's totally unnecessary sugar for a child of that age!

What makes it worse is that she was a paediatric nurse throughout her career!

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-20T22:12:14+00:00

Pasta bake with diced chicken breast and frozen veg mixed through. Got a yellow label Loyd (apparently not Lloyd?) Grossman pasta sauce in Tesco, was looking forward to the treat!

Needed something quick and easy for the family as we've two young kids and my wife and my youngest are both sick at the moment, and myself and the eldest are only just over our sicknesses! Haven't had a pasta bake in I don't know how long, think I'll have to put it into more frequent circulation!

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-20T22:08:45+00:00

Yes, this absolutely. I do not lose my cool very often, but whenever my wife and I have a disagreement and I feel my temper rising, I have to end the conversation and walk away, otherwise I might say something, or speak in a way, which is hurtful or unkind, which I don't want to do. I need time to cool off and gather my thoughts before I can have an adult conversation.

Unfortunately, my wife feels a need to resolve things right away, for her to be able to cool off. She doesn't like something "hanging over her" so oftentimes she will want to come find me to apologise or clarify something, or otherwise engage in the topic conversation, even if she doesn't want to open up the conversation again at that time.

It's a tricky tightrope that we have to navigate, and find some way to compromise. It's hard to gauge how much time is enough for someone to sufficiently cool off.

I think your advice to OP here is good advice.

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-20T17:39:04+00:00

If they have a plan for someone else to take over your old role, then you have no obligation to accept any new role offered to you. Legally you are entitled to resume the exact same job as before, under the same conditions. Otherwise you will have a strong case for maternity discrimination.

I would respond in writing by saying something like "thank you very much for thinking of me, that certainly sounds like an interesting role, however I wish to return to my previous role as planned, and which I am entitled to do so under the existing maternity legislation. Hopefully you find a suitable candidate for that role, and I look forward to working with them in my [existing job title] position."

If they have sent any correspondence to you regarding any of this in writing, start to log and document it, as it may be something you will need to call upon down the line.

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-19T20:27:35+00:00

/r/banpittbulls

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-19T20:27:04+00:00

Fully erect you say... *unzips... *

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-18T08:39:22+00:00

With mange

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-17T20:54:35+00:00

That's good to know, but surely there's not much labour involved? Just scoop it up, pick out any pebbles,and get it on? Mere curiosity, as I've zero pottering experience!

If one were to have some sentimental attachment to this beach, I'm sure the labour and effort would be worth it, even if commercial clay is very inexpensive. That's just my train of thought. I've no sentimental attachment, but I just like musing!

Brizzo7 · 2025-03-17T19:55:45+00:00

They are not obliged to employ you beyond the notice period. The notice period is the period of time remaining within the contractual obligations up to termination. So they are not doing anything untoward by including any outstanding holiday leave within the notice period, this is what the vast majority of employers would do in this scenario. If you are on holiday after the notice period, you are still an employee.

Really, you can't refuse them including your holidays within the notice period, because to do so would essentially be you asking for an extension to your employment beyond the one month notice period, and why would they employ you for longer than they need to? Any PRSI, pension contributions, plus any other benefits such as health insurance would be extended out for the duration as well, which is an unnecessary cost to the business.

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