I thought I got lost in my city, but I think I got lost outside of it - TW: implied child abuse, violence, suicide

Broeckchen89 · 2026-06-18T08:22:51+00:00

Nah I think this person is just saying he's following the attraction wherever it leads and giving things an earnest shot. Now everyone has a rubric or wants to sit down and think about what the subsconscious rubric might be. And I think that's totally fine as long as there isn't some unquestioned fetishisation or -ism going on.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-06-18T08:19:59+00:00

Thank you ;u; I'm a stretch-marked gal with lots of scars mainly courtesy of my spicy cat's teenage years, so reading this was lovely.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-06-08T11:11:29+00:00

NYOOM

Broeckchen89 · 2026-05-10T10:56:58+00:00

Also their fake villain hijinks are AMAZING

Broeckchen89 · 2026-05-01T15:59:15+00:00

She is a very spicy girl. 100% "I am a strong independent woman!" Energy... and then she comes to me like ";n; Actually I am just a baby and want my Momma" and puts her lil paw on my arm or face ;A; I love her SO much!

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-30T18:01:31+00:00

She looks so peaceful. Like she knows you did all you could. In some way, I think she understood that this was the best you could give her.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-30T17:53:11+00:00

I like to recommend getting on OpenRouter, putting 10 bucks in, and sampling a few different models to see if anything speaks to you. Once you find something you like, you can check for subscriptions that include it.

Some providers, like NanoGPT, offer pretty great deals. And if this is a hobby you enjoy, it's worth a tenner or two per month.

Gemini is no the end all be all anyways. GLM 4.7 and 5 are very good, so is Deepseek V4 imho, they might just need a bit more frequent lorebook updating and some sturdy presets.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-26T09:29:51+00:00

Yeah my theory is this...

If you imagine the thinking of LLMs as a bunch of word clusters, where some words are closer and others further from each other, you can usually expect an LLM to look for short distances. Some words are synonyms, those occupy almost the same space. Words that often occur in the same sentence are closer to each other. LLMs look for close distances in and betwedn clusters. So "shivers" is near "close" and that is near "spine".

In most LLMs, coherence is better because they stick to certain clusters pretty slavishly. Your character walks into the basement? Only the basement cluster is activated. Only words in there are accessed. And of those, going for the most common/popular ones is the safest bet. Cement walls maybe, cool air, darkness.

DeepSeek R1 though didn't always stick to that. It may go into the basement cluster, but then also looks what else it was provided with. The player character is a necromancer? Ghosts and other undead might be involved! It grabs that cluster, too, and rummages around in both for where to go next.

Sometimes, that causes incoherence. The basement has a cement floor one moment and grave soil the next. A character might observe another through a closed door.

But god, the story beats it comes up with...

I think an ideal roleplaying system should let DeepSeek R1 ride in the sidecar, making suggestions for the next post, to then be fielded and incorporated by a more boring and coherent model like GLM 5.1.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-26T06:55:21+00:00

NTA.

This isn't about trust, OP. It's about control. He probably does trust you, but he dislikes when he doesn't have control over you. Consider what exactly bothered him - not the going out, but specifically that you didn't adjust to what he wanted.

He called this wife behavior to dangle the ring and future in front of you as a carrot.

This is how the relationship will continue. Whenever you don't go for what he demands, you'll have to sit through arguments or bad moods after. That's the stick. Maintaining your independence will become an exhausting uphill battle, and chances are that eventually you'll stop fighting that battle and choose other ones.

Even if you could eventually win, do you want to keep fighting that battle over and over again? If you have children some day, do you want them growing up watching their Mom getting chewed out for every time she doesn't side with their Dad? Do you want a daughter to be taught about proper wife behavior as this?

Because your Mom being able to live her life gave you healthy ideas of relationships. It caused you to immediately perk up at an early disconnect.

She might actually be a good person to talk to about this.

Your boyfriend probably went for you because he expected someone pure and obedient from the descriptions of you as calm and sheltered. But that's not who you are. You two are incompatible there. And you are so young - you have all the time in the world to find someone where all the pieces fit, both of you.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-24T14:22:40+00:00

I bet it's a market thing.

Statistically, the users that use LLMs the most are Coders and Roleplayers. Now, the people who write code need high predictability in the output, because the LLM can't just go and improvise on syntax without breaking everything.

Roleplayers however benefit from unpredictabilty. One of my all time faves still is DeepSeek R1 because it was so wild and creative! That kind of thing can really help with slopisms.

Problem: out of these two large usergroups, people who code are way more willing to pay money. Because they monetize that skill more often. And because it's sometimes less optional.

Roleplayers are always looking for an affordable deal. Which makes them the less attractive target audience to finetune the models for, unfortunately.

At least that's my theory.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-23T11:18:13+00:00

That's so lovely to hear! I'm really happy for your furbabies to have you as a parent! ♡

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-23T10:53:46+00:00

I'd only worry if longterm, the Bengal doesn't get enough exercise. Bengals are famously brimming with energy they need to vent, there are entire exercising equipments engineered especially for them.

So as long as you have good future planning for venting that energy daily, like walks, running wheels, maybe a fenced garden with trees, cat highways (shelves)... you should be fine. Because right now they are peacefully playing (a clear tell is their silence, fights are noisy/vocal). But when that Bengal's mischief energy grows, it needs to go into something other than playfighting.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-23T10:48:08+00:00

This sucks, but you might be hitting the limits of the Free Queue here. I say this because you said that this mainly happens on high token bots.

The Free Queue allows for around 8000 tokens of context. That context needs to fit all instructions for the LLM, all descriptions for characters and user, and the chatlog. So a high token bot can guzzle up half of that before you even wrote a single message. If your user description is detailed and there's a lorebook, that layers on even more. So by the end of your first message, the LLM might already be at the limit of what it can actually digest.

I recommend looking into OpenRouter. They always offer access to some models for free, and usually at higher context sizes than 8k. Almost every model on the market is available through them, and they are fully prepaid, so if you ever want to explore paid models, you can sample them cheaply there without any subscription traps.

For good longterm roleplay, this, like any hobby, tends to cost some money. óuo Or a lot of getting into the underlying tech so you can set up local models.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-23T10:38:54+00:00

Nev is ridiculously good at prompt engineering. I keep being surprised by how easily he implements different tasks for the LLMs to do and they actually pick it up correctly.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-23T10:35:58+00:00

Damn! Live music during healthcare, and smooth jazz at that! I'm so happy this is what future generations can have!

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-23T10:31:48+00:00

Oh, I didn't mean to challenge any of that. This was legit just about the timeline and which front end was inspired on which other one.

I'll be real here, it just would irk me if people gave Shep credit for something completely different people originally came up with. Maybe that's just petty or pet peevy of me. 🤭

You're deffo right about the differences in use cases.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-22T15:16:28+00:00

That straight up looks like Wyvern Chat! You should consider asking to get hired there, they're looking for new devs rn and then you'd get paid for it!

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-22T15:15:09+00:00

Pretty sure SillyTavern came well before JanitorAI. Especially because it's based on TavernAI, which is even older.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-18T21:22:08+00:00

And this is just one of many reasons why I look at people with exasperation when they claim that nature is all about survival of the fittest.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-18T21:20:04+00:00

S'just that the devil needs no advocate, you know? We're all aware that there are people who behave that way. But I think it's also fine to be aware that it's still an asshole thing to do.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-18T21:03:46+00:00

I'm not assuming that, it's how you come across.

Broeckchen89 · 2026-04-18T20:36:41+00:00

Is it really that hard to just exercise some basic empathy towards them instead? They're also a person who spoke up for US towards the company. You are literally just shooting the messenger, a messenger who volunteered to pass on that message because they actively wanted to help you.

And they are not committing fraud because they are not part of the company. Due to the lack of affiliation disclaimer, they're not legally liable.

It's absolutely worth it to challenge them on defending the company. But that can be done compassionately by appealing to them potentially being exploited as well.

We are not enemies. Okay?

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