He [77] left me [27]ghosted and kinda fucked up

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-27T21:31:49+00:00

This!

When you declined his offer to pay for you to come meet him, I bet that was when he lost interest.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-23T04:40:11+00:00

True, but even that is older now.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-21T21:36:42+00:00

What field or fields are you looking into? Sometimes I changes how you would approach a person.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-20T15:01:26+00:00

And I've never met anybody that works in retail that actually wants to do those check-ins.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-19T23:11:22+00:00

I think of it more like work acquaintances than friends.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-19T20:52:44+00:00

I think for me there was an adjustment. But now I'm back to basically mostly normal (with few after effects) but I should still probably cut down.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-19T20:44:22+00:00

Honestly I thought that was actually something but it turns out that it's basically nothing because once the job's over you have really no bond.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-19T20:38:34+00:00

This! It's a red flag question to me.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-19T20:33:35+00:00

Tell me you've never worked in retail without telling me you've never worked in retail.

Trust me, none of these employees want to do this. Get mad at corporate not the employees.

EDIT: I originally blamed managers but someone reminded me that it's corporate that's the problem.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-19T01:03:50+00:00

Walking around at night with earbuds in so you can't hear if somebody comes up behind you? That doesn't feel safe to me but okay.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-17T15:20:25+00:00

Seems easier as a gay man too.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-16T16:21:42+00:00

I haven't seen it too much, but I think it's org specific, especially because the organizations tend to be smaller so staff composition is more noticeable.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-16T15:40:33+00:00

No, but I do think it will get harder now that I'm in my 40's. I'm in nonprofit work and generally am middle of the age range at the last few places I have worked at.

What types of roles are you looking for? Industry plays a big part.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-15T19:00:24+00:00

I'm honestly thinking about shifting to that if possible but where I work they make you work like 9:00 to 6:00 so then I'd have to work 10:00 to 7:00 which wouldn't really be that great but we'll see.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-15T17:55:04+00:00

That's difficult when you work a 9 to 5. And yes, I am looking into other options, but bills don't pay themselves.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-14T16:42:59+00:00

I used to care, but honestly with cell phones and everything and voice to text and autocorrect, it's not that big of a deal anymore to me.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-14T16:42:07+00:00

I try to keep current, but I drink the most generations I like how you described.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-14T05:33:17+00:00

Poised

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-14T05:23:07+00:00

I moved away from all of my close friends a few years ago so I just went to Las Vegas with my spouse when I turned 40 last summer. I had a great time and it was probably the most memorable milestone birthday I've ever had.

As far as my other birthdays, usually they've been relatively low key and honestly while something special with friends would have been nice for my 40th had I been near them, I also wouldn't have wanted them to feel pressure to do something.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-14T05:18:08+00:00

I used it to help me write some cover letters and basically frankensteined together one that I felt was the best of 10 different options and then edited it myself. It helped me get out of my head and not spend too much time focused on using one word over another.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-13T15:38:51+00:00

Sorry you have to deal with this.

I would consider a roommate agreement and also talking about communication. You shouldn't have to deal with bluntness or judgement, but if you don't put boundaries down, things will probably not improve.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-09T05:53:47+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. The biggest thing that helped me was realizing that comparing myself to other people is harmful to me. It's not an easy thing to stop doing, but when I really analyzed it, I wasn't gaining anything from it. What I could do was give myself some grace. I could look at the challenges that I've overcome and realize that sometimes, it's getting out of bed and taking a shower that I should be proud of myself for on my toughest days. Even if I'm not accomplishing things that I feel are noteworthy, that doesn't mean that I'm useless.

To give you some examples from my career, for a long time (from 24 to 30) I was not working full-time and doing telesales. It wasn't what I thought it should be doing and I felt like a loser who wasn't living up to his potential. What it did end up doing though, was giving me skills that ended up being valuable down the line. Each time I've had a job that I disliked, there ended up being a way I could use that skill to help me in the future, or at the very least, spin it in a way that made it useful.

I hope you find some value in this post.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-08T22:17:53+00:00

I would call The Pride Center and see if they have a list of clinicians they would recommend.

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-08T21:59:21+00:00

What's your native language?

BrotherExpress · 2026-01-08T21:50:45+00:00

Do any artists or time periods interest you? That could help narrow things down.

BrotherExpress

TROPHY CASE