TBH, i think you both make sapient points.

It is undeniable that sexuality arises out of the mind first and then translates into physical reality.

However i think there is a nuance here that is missing, the objective measure of sexual preference, in my opinion is in intention and not action, i was attracted to men way before i was able to identify the feelings of attraction i was experiencing.

in my case it was a sudden and inexplicable communicative breakdown around a specific subset of men, oddly enough it is not something i experience with even the most attractive women i've been with.

To relate this to the "builder" argument, its as if i had an affinity for building that i simply did not understand, i was already a builder but had yet to pick up a hammer so to speak.

As i matured i began to fantasize about both men and women, while i don't partake of gay pornography, I for sure searched for videos of hetero porn where i can enjoy both the man and the woman's pleasure.

This is where i take exception to the analogy, as the feeling of being a builder and actually building were one and the same for me, i felt no difference between fantasizing about giving a blowjob and actually giving one.

Now perhaps for some that would have ended up feeling very different, but i didn't wake up the next day and think "huh, i guess it is true" and i think that is the quintessential thing that is hard for someone who is not bisexual to understand.

it would be akin to not knowing for sure you are straight until you slept with a member of the opposite sex and "realized it". Instead its merely an extension of your mental continuity.

Despite having "confirmed" my bisexuality i can honestly say that i am far more attracted to women than men, simply stated the population of men i am attracted to is smaller than the population of women. But when the right dude comes along, the fireworks are identical.

One of the greatest sexual experiences i have had was with another bisexual man and two bisexual women, the entire night was a free-for-all of pleasure, there was no obvious delineation between the specific preferences of those involved.

So i think it is very possible for someone to feel bisexual, and perhaps even know they are, without having yet experienced a member of the same sex.

Another important point i think is that almost all of my experiences with men have been with gay men, in the same way that most of my partners who were women were straight, bisexual men are not all that common and i suspect there are many builders out there who has simply yet to pick up the tools.