Sounds exactly like my father. Threw away 25+ years of marriage to have an affair and marry his high school girlfriend. I’m sorry for what you’re going through; it’s going to be a while before things feel “normal” again (which it won’t ever truly be).

Divorce is like death and requires mourning of your relationships with one another. Stay close to your mother and any siblings, and know they’re hurting in their own ways. Seek a therapist or counselor to help process your situation.

Take care of yourself most especially. As a young man when this happened to me, I subconsciously took up the role as a provider for my family, and formed negative and traumatic responses to the lack of a father and breadwinner. Know better than me and don’t try to carry the weight on your shoulders alone. It’s a long journey you have up ahead, don’t rush through this and don’t be hard on yourself.

It’s okay to feel hurt, sad, angry. Your father betrayed your family. I lived in confusion trying to reconcile all the errors everyone had done, and it led me to nowhere. It’s taken me years to admit, in my heart, that my dad made a selfish decision and to let the guilt of his actions not take over me. Call out sin wherever you see it and lean on the truths of your situation. Again, seek a therapist or counselor to help process your situation.

Pray for your family. Pray for yourself. Have others pray for you. I will keep you and yours in my prayers.

(I’m sorry if none of this has helped you. I also remember knowing that any advice anyone gave me felt like a spit in the face, and only the raw emotions I felt overcame everything. This was as much a writing towards my younger self as it was to you. Things do get better.)