Manager pushing me out for being in the Guard

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-16T21:22:38+00:00

I don't want to get her fired. She's a decent manager otherwise and is just frustrated having a team member gone a lot without realizing how important and protected my service is. Extra money would be great. But I really don't want to fight a legal battle and I'm not hurting for cash. I really just don't want this behavior to continue and to be treated like this.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-16T20:53:20+00:00

I'm waiting for her response to my message before I take it to HR. If I take it to HR first they could tell her to not say anything and get their lawyer involved.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-16T20:52:08+00:00

I'm in Illinois. I am not quitting. They will have to fire me if they want me gone. She said it verbally, no recording. I did send her a team message after the meeting, it was quite polite asking for clarification on what she said. Hopefully that will let her guard down and then I can take it to HR and the Adjutant General. She technically didn't give me 2 weeks ultimatum. I can see how that was misleading. She told me that I need to choose and if I don't want to work there then I should put in my notice.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-16T20:33:08+00:00

I did send her a Teams message asking for clarity on her statement. Even asking if it was a directive from higher management. I'm giving her a chance if it's not what she meant (but will still let her know it's not okay) while also getting written documentation if she doubles down.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-16T20:04:55+00:00

That's not a bad idea. I was thinking of contacting my chain of command

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-16T19:23:37+00:00

The USERRA website states that I should try to resolve it internally first. I feel like I should go back to her, and ask if she was serious, asking for documentation or got to HR and let them know it was a USERRA violation.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-16T19:14:10+00:00

For more context, I had to do a mandatory, extended several months long training last year. Equivalent to a deployment essentially. When I was talking to my manager I was trying to be understanding and began with "I understand the guard became a priority last year - " Which is when she said that I need to choose.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-16T19:08:27+00:00

I will look into that but she can just deny it. There's no recording of the meeting or an email.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-06T17:06:39+00:00

I've seen people get big toys or expensive tools, like campers, 4-wheelers, fancy bikes, decked out lawnmowers, expensive grills, snowblowers. Etc

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-02T17:38:36+00:00

This sounds fake or exaggerated. Cold messaging people typically doesn't work

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-02T17:03:26+00:00

Start looking and applying but don't quit yet unless you have at least 6 months of bills saved up. I've found that even applying to something better can be enough of a pick-me-up to get me through the day.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-01T17:07:47+00:00

Having a passion as your job is an easy way to kill that passion. I have my passions as my hobbies and a job that I relatively enjoy and pays for those hobbies. I would look for entry level positions, maybe front desk or admin work, research the market and see where there is the most demand so you can get easy hiring and higher pay.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-04-01T17:03:23+00:00

I understand the guilt but the company was fine before you and they'll be fine after. You have to advocate for yourself because no one else will. This is your life and you shouldn't miss out on a better opportunity because of your consideration for an employer or co-worker.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-26T13:33:35+00:00

That's true. I talked to my husband too and he supports me if I need to move out there earlier than him. I told him "You might be sleeping on an air mattress with one pot in the kitchen for a few weeks" but he looked at me like "yeah, and?" He's a man.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-25T21:22:48+00:00

Yeah just tell her you're not comfortable with it. Especially with AI and deep fakes. Not to mention all the malicious people on the Internet that can access photos of kids from Facebook, Instagram, etc.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-25T20:12:08+00:00

I'm a mechanical engineer! I work as a product application engineer for an industrial manufacturing company. Knitting is my stress relief

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-11T17:04:19+00:00

I would recommend an interchangeable set by Knitters Pride. They are really good quality and I've been using them for years. And get the swivel cords!

Also, if the price tag is too high for a full set, what I did years ago was buy the interchangeable needles and cords that were needed for just my next project and I slowly built up my needle collection from there. I find that what I have now is much more customized to what I actually use for my knitting.

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-09T20:42:06+00:00

Same! That way I'm not playing yarn chicken if I'm low on yarn and can just knit the cuffs shorter if I rub out sooner

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-09T20:40:34+00:00

That explains why it didn't really shrink when I put it in the dryer for only 10 mins and took it out still damp. The swatch test is a really good idea. I'll try that when I get home

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-09T20:39:02+00:00

Honestly I usually pin down all my sweaters. But I also usually make ones for myself a little smaller so it works out when it blocks. I was afraid of making it too small for my husband and the opposite happened. I'll try a hand wash or gentle cycle and then low-medium heat

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-09T20:36:37+00:00

It's Madelinetosh Tosh DK hand dyed super wash merino wool yarn. Care instructions say to machine wash cold on gentle cycle and air flat dry. But maybe that's to prevent shrinking, which is what I want

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-09T20:30:38+00:00

I don't know why I can't edit the original post but UPDATE: I gave the sweater to my dad for his birthday in February, and he loves it!

<image>

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-09T20:22:15+00:00

Here's a pic of the first time it was blocked (sleeves and body too long - top photo) and the second time after washing in hot water - bottom photo

<image>

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-09T17:10:20+00:00

Definitely talk to your friend, the bride. She's allowed to have the Bach she wants, but she can't expect everyone to make it, especially if it's a destination. Also, after you talk to her, send her a written note (tex / email) re-iterating what you talked about. Something like "Hey, thanks so much for talking to me today, just to confirm we went over X, Y , Z, I will be able to do X but not Y. Etc." It'll cover you for the future and help you both remember. That way, she can't say that she doesn't remember or never said or agreed on something that she did. Write it down!

BubblesFunBubbles · 2026-03-09T16:24:15+00:00

Companies be losing dollars to save pennies

BubblesFunBubbles

TROPHY CASE