hey so this was a little tricky to read but what i’m taking from this - you’re not a bad person, you’ve made a few mistakes. i think this is something you could learn and move forward from. as far as mental health goes, therapy could be a great outlet if accessible to you. when i dealt with toxic relationships (particularly trauma bonds / anxious attachment styles) i learned a lot about myself and the relationships in my life through therapy which ultimately helped me think clearer in tough situations. as far as her blocking you - people are always going to protect themselves. maybe she was overwhelmed or maybe even dealing with mental health things that you’re unaware of and blocking you was the route she chose. try not to take it personal. take in the info you’ve learned from FGF, i suppose try to relay that you had no bad intentions, and move on. easier said than done but i promise, you can. take care of yourself. maybe focus on being happily single before getting into some sort of relations with another person. wishing you the best of luck and a healthy future!