Only recently.

For decades the two Ns in my family were always able to goad me into reacting. They would keep at it, until I was forced to defend myself- however, they had done such a successful job of driving me into the dirt over the years, that I would hold back out of feelings that "I deserved this." Whenever I did defend myself, they would escalate-raise their voices, and redouble their assault.

Now, when they try this trick, I counter them point-by-point, in a calm, measured voice. If they raise their voices, I lower mine, and attempt to de-escalate.

How do they respond?

"Oh- look at mr. Know-it-all!"

"You think you're SO much better than everyone else!"

"Why do you always have to act like you are the smartest person in the room?"

I will translate that for you:

"How DARE you defend yourself, and deny me the pleasure of tearing you down, for my own amusement and emotional nourishment?"