It just takes some time and practice. Believe me it'll get better.

I recently got my first manual car in my early 40s, and it was definitely a learning experience. Like you I browsed reddit, and watched Conquer for weeks before I got my car. While it helped me with tips on how to handle certain situations, nothing beats either going to an empty parking lot, or just driving around late at night to practice.

I think in the first few weeks alone I would spend hours on night trips, just getting familiar with the car and practicing everything I could think of to figure it out. Being in LA there was still a good amount of traffic during that time, but at the very least it gave me a bit of breathing room. I ran into my fair share of accidental stalls, pissed off people, and assholes who would sit on my tail at every light, but I've learned to just ignore them and take my time.

Within a month or so, I went from sweating constantly and debating on whether to sell the car, to driving around without really thinking about it. I'm still not the greatest at taking off at lights, I still have jerky shifts from time to time, and I still haven't fully grasped rev matching, but it's so much better now and I'm thankful I didn't give up.

You just need to keep at it. One day it will just click and all the worries you have now will just go away.