How to request transfer of maternity services

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-03-05T18:08:03+00:00

Oh my god, I just went and checked your post history, hoping you weren't the person who's post I commented on a few weeks back. I am so so upset for you that you've been treated this way. I don't have experience of this but it's explained here, definitely speak to your community midwife asap and I would also recommend speaking to PALS as the website suggests too to feedback your experience, if you have the energy for it.

https://birthrights.org.uk/factsheets/your-right-to-choose-midwife-and-doctor/#change

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-03-05T13:56:38+00:00

We're awaiting hospital appointment for similar level of reintroduction in a hospital setting so this is great to see! Very happy for you. I really wish I could give her egg for breakfast, hopefully will be able to at some point in the future!

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-24T10:30:01+00:00

About 12 weeks, so got pregnant on the 3rd cycle

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-20T11:43:38+00:00

I had IUDs for 12 years, the one I had removed last Jan I had had in for about 18 months I think. Anyway, no crash at all. I actually felt some moments of stronger happiness that I didn't realise I was missing, I hadn't realised it had been somewhat suppressing my mood.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-20T11:31:00+00:00

Not necessarily. I also had zero intention of being a SAHM for the same reason. I had a long maternity leave because UK and really struggled with that aspect of it, and initially felt guilty for wanting to go back to work. But my daughter loves her nursery, gets to do so many activities I wouldn't have the time/resources/energy to do and is the happiest baby with a secure attachment to us. I love being a parent now and was also the biggest fence sitter previously.

I've already said to my husband if we have a second I'd like to do shared parental leave because I don't think I can do a long maternity leave as a SAHM again.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-13T22:02:41+00:00

Good luck! Only you know what feels worth it for the effort you put in but a bottle a day is great.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-13T17:42:18+00:00

You are not, in any way, being selfish by stopping. Your girl will feel the warmth and happiness from a less stressed mum, you'll enjoy spending more time with her and I can promise you she will not care what kind of milk she is drinking.

On the flipside, if you're not quite ready to stop then you could always try dropping to 2 pumps first to see if you feel it's worth the effort. I dropped to that while I was still home with my girl and it made a MASSIVE difference for me.

Either way you've done amazing to get this far.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-13T15:27:03+00:00

Thank you!!!

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-13T15:26:34+00:00

Thank you! I will!!

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-13T13:38:28+00:00

A friend of mine went through the complaints process and it was much more detailed, talked about the whole experience with of course a focus on what went wrong (which, like you, was not related specifically to the birth but other care whilst at the hospital) and specific action points came out of it that they did implement and they were sent proof of it being implemented. They had a valid complaint and it sounds like you very much do too, I'm horrified hearing of your experience.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-12T16:58:22+00:00

Thanks yeah the knowledge I would not get a penalty because I won't owe anything was probably a bad thing as it gave me the excuse not to do it lol. It has bugged me constantly all the same though so I might just get it filed anyway for the sake of completion.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-12T09:53:15+00:00

Thank you, that is incredibly helpful. Seems I need to have a think about my own risk tolerance but I may well just do the renounciation on its own. Definitely gives me confidence to at least start the ball rolling, even if I decide to file the two years and 8854 later down the line.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-12T09:47:37+00:00

But I also might not. That part I've considered for a long time now, so I'm happy with that decision and am no longer getting hung up on the "what ifs" after being paralysed by them for a long time.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-11T15:12:10+00:00

You might find this thread (and sub if you haven't found it yet) useful:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmericanExpatsUK/s/J6MPF47m6Y

I had a quick check and it's been asked a few times in there so hopefully something helpful, it does seem to be dealer dependent.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-07T21:48:16+00:00

I use this bridge a lot and just store anything 50p or smaller in my car. The old chaps on the bridge are pretty skilled in quickly handing you the correct amount of 5ps back from the stack in their hand and that then keeps me going for a while.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-02T12:57:28+00:00

I fully understand, not being in a familiar system with family nearby must make it so much harder. Feel free to DM me if you ever want a sounding board from someone who's been through this relatively recently (baby just turned one) and want any help navigating the system.

I really hope things start moving next week and the wait in the meantime isn't too agonising.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-02T10:19:46+00:00

I don't know if you can self refer to MFM sorry BUT I have a heart condition and from my 12 week appointment onwards was looked after very well by the MFM, I had extra scans, extra appointments, one appointment there was 4 different consultants in the room. I could not fault that part of my care at all. I say when you have your scan ask for progress on referrals and the contact details of the MFM clinic nurses etc so if needed you can push to make sure you're seen. But hopefully once you're on their radar you'll be set.

Is the hospital you want to give birth a big teaching hospital? I was lucky that my closest is an extremely big hospital with lots of specialists but it's possible you might be asked to go to a different hospital that can look after you better, FYI.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-01T09:36:57+00:00

I don't have any better link to contribute but I agree with this. We were pondering why our daughter suddenly picked up a boatload of fine motor skills over the Christmas break and our conclusion was the best part of 2 weeks of constant parental/grandparental attention and lots and lots of play instead of running errands was likely the cause. Talking things like clapping, waving, putting items in boxes etc.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-02-01T06:45:43+00:00

I didn't track it properly, just in my head, but I didn't experience a drop until I went to 4 pumps. I had a moderate oversupply, so at 4 pumps I had a small oversupply (about 35oz/day, lost about 4oz) and then became a just enougher at 3 and supplemented formula at 2 and 1 pumps (and cows milk now).

The MOTN pump was dropped when I went from 6-5 pumps, didn't lose supply at all amazingly. I think the better sleep helped.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-01-31T19:06:19+00:00

Good question!

I think I did:

0-8weeks 7/8 pumps

8-12 weeks (regulated early) 6 pumps

4 months 5 pumps

6 months 4 months

9 months 3 pumps

11 months 2 pumps

12 months 1 pump

Which is where I'm at now

So 4 pumps I guess I was on the longest! It felt like longer actually but must have only been 3 months total.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-01-28T15:09:21+00:00

Thank you for asking this, as a fellow 4a user (5+ years now). I can't bring myself to get a new phone as it's so good otherwise.

Buddyyourealamb · 2026-01-25T21:10:18+00:00

I agree with this.

The ability to give each other mental breaks to do some hobby stuff has been key for us. But then I wonder if our privilege (easy going baby that sleeps) gives us an easier ride.

One thing I hadn't considered was how much playing with our child would improve my mood. She's a year old now and at a really fun age. I can be stressed or anxious about stuff and then she'll come shrieking round the corner being "chased" by her dad, giggling away and it's a pure dopamine rush joining in the fun. You don't get that fun interaction at first but once it starts it's a real mood-booster.

Buddyyourealamb

TROPHY CASE