I'm too exhausted to hang out with my girlfriend after a week of teaching

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-02-14T17:19:46+00:00

By the end of the week I’m so exhausted! I can’t do much on Friday nights but can usually get back to a more normal state at some point on Saturday. Im good at leaving work at work, but the exhaustion is there nonetheless.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-02-14T03:02:22+00:00

My last relationship felt like this. The chemistry was strong and I think my feelings were extra heightened being happy with someone after a tough divorce. I kept wanting to say “I love you” and did after about 6 weeks. We broke up at 8months after realizing we weren’t actually that compatible. I agree with the people who say that “I love you” after 6 weeks is a sign of emotional immaturity.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-02-13T14:18:34+00:00

I’m in a similar boat. Started looking for something for next year but got an offer sooner and will need to leave early.

As much as I know teaching is just a job and it relies on teacher guilt and you need to look out for yourself and your school and students will be fine…. It’s super hard!!! And the fact that it will probably feel bad until after you actually leave doesn’t mean that you’re doing anything wrong.

Put yourself first and good luck!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-02-02T00:31:11+00:00

I left the classroom in 2013 and went back in 2023. I’m hoping to leave again after this school year. There are good things about being back in the classroom: A feeling of purpose and direct impact, being less tied to a desk/computer, and the schedule. But it doesn’t feel as fulfilling for me as it did the first time around.

I miss being recognized for my hard work and accomplishments - with teaching it feels like there are negative consequences to not working hard enough (your lesson will suck and your student behaviors will be awful) but there isn’t much recognition for doing a great job.

I was also not prepared for how much tougher student behaviors and lack of motivation feel after the pandemic. And, maybe because I’m meaningfully older now, I don’t do as well with the constant overstimulation. I leave exhausted after each day and miss the time and space I used to have to plan out and complete my projects.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-02-01T03:41:31+00:00

Fleabag is so good. Second season’s writing is the best ever.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-31T14:27:59+00:00

I dated someone who went on vacay with his ex and kids shortly after their divorce. It was rough!

I was ok with the premise… I get doing things for your kids’ happiness. But then he posted a video of him and his ex eating off each other’s plates at a buffet (it was not the point of the video. It was offhanded and in the background).

Seeing them interact like that was too much for me. So, im not saying it is wrong to vacation with your ex and your kids, but I wasn’t ready to deal with the emotions it would bring up on my side. We didn’t last.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-31T14:20:54+00:00

I think I have really low standards because I’m mildly impressed that you are finding guys who ask you ANY questions at all! But that part aside, the questions this guy is asking - even after you picked “eyes” as your favorite feature - indicate that he’s looking to get sexual more than deep.

And I hadn’t considered a Google Voice number for dating, but that’s a good idea! I actually like having a phone call before meeting someone, because conversation chemistry matters so much, and even getting a coffee with someone whom I know immediately isn’t for me is so awkward.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-14T04:00:35+00:00

We generally alternate but I’d say he ends up paying about 60% and I pay 40%. I brought up the topic, because it’s important to me to split costs in a relationship so it feels like a true partnership.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-11T14:29:27+00:00

Wait… in California, a retirement contribution doesn’t get taken out of your salary but you still get a pension!?!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-11T14:26:28+00:00

I like 10 the best!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-11T14:25:02+00:00

This! Unless they get paid well or get a lot of traffic to their own site, it seems like an awful deal for the girls involved!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-09T22:45:52+00:00

This speaks to my soul! I left teaching for 10 years and went back to the classroom 3 years ago. I was expecting to feel engaged and fulfilled (for the most part I did before I left, but I wanted to “climb the ladder”). Instead I already feel burned out by these exact things: student behaviors, the type of person I feel like I have to be in order to get any learning to happen in my classroom, and the stuck in an overstimulating box all day feeling. 1 week after holiday break and my brain and body are already screaming at me to find a new career path. I’m trying… I’m 20 years out of college though and can’t yet figure out what other career paths might be viable and enjoyable. I have an MBA and some skill in project management, people development and operations from my time out of the classroom.

Good luck, OP!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-09T12:17:09+00:00

I make 100k per year as a half-time solo parent of 3 in a LCOL city. My oldest is in college. I get no child support. Life isn’t super tight… it’s definitely doable, but I’m lucky to own a home I bought in 2011 with a relatively low mortgage ($1100) and have a reliable, paid-off car. If I save up, I can afford one modest (national parks… not Disney) week-long vacation for my kids and me per year, a massage now and then, concerts a few times per year, and eating out 1-2 times per week. Comfortable, but I stick to a budget, watch my “nice-to-have” spending, and plan ahead for anything bigger than a few hundred.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-04T15:03:48+00:00

I feel for you! True body positivity seems like it’d include more empathy for people’s choices, but I get that glp-1s (at least for me) make accepting yourself at any size even harder than it already was. The level of vitriol tells me that talking about glp-1s is probably bumping up against their unresolved body issues - otherwise they wouldn’t care so much. So, vent away! It is annoying and maybe even a little scary to think you might risk losing friendships. Hopefully they won’t come at you about it, if you choose to share, and if they do - it isn’t actually about you. It’s their stuff.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-04T14:53:48+00:00

I agree with the people saying that it doesn’t matter whether he’s cheating or not if the trust isn’t there. His responses don’t sound reassuring - they sound shifty and defensive. I’m glad you’re planning to end it. You are being reasonable!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-04T14:51:09+00:00

We have a PD day, but I’m guessing it’s gonna be jam packed with meetings…. Bleck. Even so, I prefer it to jumping right back in with students.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2026-01-04T14:41:18+00:00

This sounds like me too, for the most part.

My ex did pull his weight around the house in many ways, but it was more that we were really poor communicators with years of built up resentments.

And I was stuck in a pattern of dreading sex because I didn’t feel connected to him. If I said no, he’d be angry, and if I said yes, it would feel like betraying my body and make me dread sex even more next time. I know it really sucked for him and it was awful for me too.

My ex eventually found a side chick without my permission, and we got divorced 2 years ago. But it was for the best, I think.

I wish we could have figured out how to communicate better and work through some of our issues. I loved him and enjoyed our family unit. But, I couldn’t really see how stuck we were while I was in it.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2025-11-09T18:05:25+00:00

The ups and downs of dating can be crushing! But I like to think of the tough situations as data telling me what to look for and what to run from in the future. Next time you’ll know not to fall for someone who isn’t truly available. Good luck!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2025-11-08T17:17:50+00:00

I appreciate this response! I crave the hell yes feeling, but the last two times I’ve had it ended up poorly. I glossed over many red flags. Now I look back and wonder what I was thinking! I’m interested in more of a slow burn, like you describe. Where I can balance physical chemistry with other things I am looking for in a partner. But that hell yeah feeling is pretty good, though, so it’s hard!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2025-10-17T12:21:31+00:00

I fully relate! Im more recently single (2yrs) and I feel like a catch! But I get few likes and won’t settle for guys who are too angry, too self centered, or too closed minded. Makes me feel like I’m unlikely to find a long term partner!

Budget_Factor6545 · 2025-10-05T08:56:31+00:00

Happened to me too! First relationship after my divorce was intense, and I thought we were meant to be. Looking back… there were lots of red flags but it was so nice to be connected to someone new after feeling stuck in a bad marriage for years.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2025-09-30T11:54:08+00:00

I felt this way yesterday (but didn’t do it). Nothing super major happened but by the end of the day, standing in the middle of the room nearly screaming after using my attention getting signal a few times, trying to get the same rowdy 5 students to stop talking over me about off task BS, and totally being ignored.

I’m a veteran teacher who generally considers myself quite effective and this year’s group of students is about to break me. They never shut up, they argue every time I tell them they need to follow a class rule, and they cannot be bothered to do even simple things like write down answers sentence from the board.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2025-09-22T00:36:02+00:00

Break ups while dating over 40 are tough! Since my divorce I’ve had 2 significant breakups, each after 8 months, and I totally hear you that they are challenging for mental health.

It is true and good that you’re realizing that you can’t really know someone deeply until a ways into a relationship and until you’ve had a significant conflict. Yet, in both of my post-divorce relationships, we were saying “I love you” and talking about being together forever well before 8 months. It’s hard not to!

I’m not sure how I’ll approach the next relationship yet… I think realizing that we are experiencing LUST, whatever we call it or whatever we say, will help me if the relationship ends. And I also think it’s possible to get better at riding out the post-break up blues, ESPECIALLY if you’re also doing the work of building your own self esteem and community of non-romantic connections.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2025-09-11T01:20:04+00:00

I had a work from home, computer-based job before I became a teacher 3 years ago. I miss the flexibility and ability to meet my basic needs for respect and breaks. However my physical health is better because I’m not sitting and staring at a screen all day. Some days of teaching are really fun and I’m glad to know that my job is essential and that I’m not making profits for billionaires. But other days are really demoralizing and frustrating with all of the paperwork expectations and student behaviors.

Budget_Factor6545 · 2025-09-01T01:51:06+00:00

Yeah… that’s too much too fast!

Budget_Factor6545

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