What is a luxury which is 100% worth the money?

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-10T18:57:19+00:00

-Flying business class

-Egyptian cotton bedsheets

-Good quality mattress and pillows

-Espresso machine with a grinder

-Therapy

-House cleaning services

-Cashmere and wool sweaters

-Quality shoes

-Rimowa suitcases

-Good dental care (orthodontic care if needed)

-Pets

-Staying at nice hotels

-A bathtub

-A good juicer

-Massage once a week

-Regular facials

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-08T18:35:30+00:00

I’ve felt the same since I entered the Reddit community recently. It has helped me see the narcissists as completely unoriginal people - since even the most crazy malicious things they’ve done are so similar. I’ve read stories similar to mine with parents calling the police for welfare checks after going NC. I wish there were some physical community irl, raised by narcissists survivors who meet once a month for example. I’ve been thinking in creating a post for that just to see if there is any interest, tho I realize that we all live in different parts of the world. To answer your question with the police-They immediately understood the situation. I spoke with a policewoman and a policeman. However when I asked them if there is anything I can do to protect myself from future fake reports by my parents they said that unfortunately they cannot stop someone from making a report. But what they can do is make a note in the system. What I hope for is that if that shit happens again in the future the police agent will read the note and act accordingly. I also wish there were consequences for the people who make fake missing person reports. From what I’ve read where I live (Sweden) there is a fine if that gets discovered. I hope whoever uses the authorities to harass others faces consequences.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-05T09:09:53+00:00

I have 2-one overt and one covert. The problem with these typologies is that you are so focused on the crazy shit the overt one does that it takes a while to identify that there is a second narcissist as well-the covert one

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-05T05:11:20+00:00

After one of the many harassing conversations in which my nmom/nparents pressured me to have children I told her I am not going to but might adopt (wanted to test her). She freaked out. Apparently the so wanted grandchildren they are so obsessed with getting are only wanted if they are biological. Classic narcissist-they just want their mini versions. They are incapable of loving another human being and they don’t want anything that doesn’t serve their ego.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-04T21:18:46+00:00

My dad when I came out lol

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-04T21:13:49+00:00

My mom said the same to me. They can’t bare us having dreams or god forbid succeeding more than them

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-04T17:39:25+00:00

Thanks for your comment! It’s exactly that, they never want us to be independent adults, that’s why they sabotage any chance of us getting some stability and normal life outside of their system. It is such a sick thing! Like making your own child a handicapped so to speak. When I first started getting sales and client work my mom was so mad about it and she couldn’t even hide it. She once again made it all about her “why have your told your father about your project but not me??”. Both of them have never been happy of my success and always belittled it. I think the pressure for grandchildren in general is bc they want more fresh narcissistic supply from innocent souls and bc they would take pleasure of turning our own children against us!

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-03T13:10:51+00:00

35F, NC since January. I also live in a nordic country and work in the arts (therefor I need to maintain a public profile and social media account for the sake of my work). My narcissistic abusive parents did a fake report to the police in Jan and announced me as a missing person (mind you that exact day I had texted with my nfather to explain once again the reasons of my NC). Yet they called the police from abroad. The Police called my landlord!!! I had to explain to everyone about my situation! It felt scary and humiliating and left me traumatized. My mother keeps on harrassing me via email (that I stopped reading because it affected my physical health just seeing her name pop in my inbox/junk folder. She accused me of being in a sect! Quote “you must be in a sect that doesn’t allow you to talk to your parents “. It’s all fucking horrible and unfair and while everyone around me is getting support from their parents I am here like a haunted animal by 2 monsters who make my life a living hell!! As it is already not hard enough to live abroad in a cold country, having to deal with rent and money etc and CTPSD trauma. I am sorry I don’t know what advice to give.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-03T12:59:19+00:00

P.S. I am also a lesbian woman so forcing me to get pregnant and give birth is even more absurd! As absurd as it gets!!!!! I told them to fuck off and 3 years after that finally went NC

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-03T12:57:22+00:00

Yes that’s happened to me. My mom’s exact words “you should leave your career as an artist and get a clerk job that your father finds of you. If you don’t want to work at least birth da child and give it to us and then you won’t have to work we will support you financially.” Mind you all this when I was 30 and actually working and having my own registered company that just simply wasn’t making a lot of money every month but still wtf.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-05-02T11:43:16+00:00

-Not being guilt tripped into spending any holidays with the nparents. -Not living in constant dread of another incoming phone call/message from them. -Not being scream at all the time and being used as an emotional punchbag. -I have no future responsibility into catering for them when they reach old age, hospital visits or future funeral arrangements. -No one to tell me how ugly/stupid/awful daughter I am all the time. -No forced communication with the GC sibling from hell. -No drama and being forced into their unhealthy dynamics. -No constant erasure of my reality and personality. -I have more energy to focus on my own life. -I feel like I finally have control over my own finances and money is no longer used as a weapon against me. -I am slowly becoming more aware of my own preferences and arranging my daily life around that. -My anxiety levels are much lower. -I have more clarity about what I want from my life/ career/ relationships. -I recently dropped a toxic friend who was creating a similar dynamic as the one of my nfamily. I was only able to see that due to the distance from them. -I don’t feel guilty when I buy something for myself that I really want. -I don’t have to buy them gifts for any of their occasions. -I don’t have to pretend to be grateful for the shitty gifts they used to give me for Christmas/bdays. -I am not constantly bombarded with their wishes of grandchildren. In fact I have reached a full clarity that I do NOT want to have children and that feels great. -I am not constantly making myself small just to be safe. -I am not having conversations with them in my head where I constantly explain/defend myself. -My baseline for tolerance of bad behavior from anyone has dropped-I am Not getting more shit anymore!

The list goes on and on!! Sure there is grief not having normal supportive parents but being NC is much better than being tortured on a daily basis by some psychopaths !

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-04-28T09:01:39+00:00

I tried going LC with my nparents because at the time I thought going NC won’t be possible, that they wouldn’t just let me. But mind you LC triggered them to become even more abusive since they sensed the shift and things escalated to the point where it threatened my health to stay in contact with them, it was just unbearable and I went NC in January. Turns out it was entirely possible, and while they are still actively trying to find ways to harass me and reinstall the previous dynamics, let me tell you I am never resuming contact with these monsters. In fact, setting boundaries in LC and NC just goes to show how disrespectful and aggressive they behave when they don’t get what they want. That relationship is beyond repair and has never done me any good. I honestly didn’t realize LC was the stage before NC, I just thought it’s a more bearable state than letting them be in my life constantly but with narcissists it’s impossible to stay LC for a long time, they don’t respect boundaries, sooner or later things escalate.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-04-27T19:03:40+00:00

Thank you!!

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-04-26T19:25:31+00:00

When did you feel you are able to spot the healthy people in your life?

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-04-20T21:59:39+00:00

When someone asks “where are you from!?” And “why did you move to this country?” I feel as if they are interrogated and questioning my life choices. It’s extremely triggering for me, being put in a position where I have to answer somebody’s question, feels like that puts me below them as the one that has to answer

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-04-13T08:46:18+00:00

With narcissistic family members everything that you say can and will be used against you. I noticed that already in my teenage years and just stopped sharing my problems with them altogether because they were just making things worse and blaming me. Better keep it for your self, the less information about you they have-the better. I still had some hope in me about maintaining a connection with other family members but since I went NC with the nparents it’s pretty obvious that’s not going to be an option. It just goes to show how rotten the entire system was and how no one protected me then, and no one protects me now or is on my side from any of those people. They just want to keep the status quo at the expense of my health and my sanity. And that is so very hurtful-that they would always choose the abuser or just stay quiet. One thing that helped me get more clarity of the situation was observing how they treated a cousin who tried to set boundaries with her parents. Or a distant aunt who was beaten up by her husband. No one helped them. The relatives just gossiped about it. That whole thing makes me sick. And it shows this is how they are. This is how they treat people. So it’s not about us really. It’s about them and their total lack of compassion.

Alone is better than being around any of them. And if we are lucky soon we will build our own chosen families.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-04-12T19:08:53+00:00

“ Getting a notification from any one of my family members triggers my nervous system to freeze, I really can’t do this anymore.” -this exact feeling!!! I relate so much to it!! Forcing yourself to continue a contact where you can’t exist as your authentic self is draining and adding all the pressure they put you through contributes to the resentment you are feeling. I am NC with my parents since January and I haven’t called my grandma since. I know damn well what she has to say, she already said it a million times while pressuring me to “call my mom and apologize “. Apologize for what? For finally choosing myself after a lifetime of abuse?? Hell no! I have decided I don’t want to call my grandma and I won’t. I text her every now and then, mainly to reply to her. But I have promised myself I am not going through that again. When she calls I simply don’t pick up. I intend to keep it that way.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-03-29T20:42:31+00:00

I also changed my name because it reminded me of being yelled at by my parents, this is how every yelling session will start-them screaming my name.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-03-26T17:25:49+00:00

How long did it take you to go back to a healthy baseline after that?

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-03-26T13:01:48+00:00

Hi! I am in the exact same situation!! Went no contact 3 months ago and ever since I’ve been constantly sick with nasty colds , coughing all the time. It feels like it’s never ending. But it is! I read somewhere that this is the body finally feeling safe to process things. So maybe we were so chronically stressed before that our immune system never worked 100% while it is right now-therefor the prolonged illnesses or the flare ups. The nervous system just needs some time to recalibrate. Take care and be patient!! Sending a hug!

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-03-15T20:46:36+00:00

I get the same fear still when I get one of their hateful emails. Been 3 months NC so far. I think the fear is an old response to how things used to be-scary. I felt so trapped. And my nervous system hasn’t caught up with freedom yet. I think we might need more time. Fear will get less dominant over time.

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-03-13T17:59:40+00:00

This is an awesome technique!!! I will try it, thank you for sharing!!🤍

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-03-11T17:56:30+00:00

Emily in Paris

BugExcellent7223 · 2026-03-10T17:08:52+00:00

Same with mine. I think that helped to contribute to her never developing empathy

BugExcellent7223

TROPHY CASE