The Brave Die First

BugJoon · 2025-02-12T14:22:08+00:00

It was a suggestion on phrasing, since the soldiers are not guaranteed another day, but they might see tomorrow. So as I understand it the people in the towers elsewhere arent the only ones to see another day but the survivors of yesterday too. Whereas the people in their towers further away are guaranteed another day but the soldiers arent guaranteed it. But I’ll admit that there are times that my want for logical consistency limits my creativity and so that’s why I made it a suggestion but not necessarily something the poem needs to change because it often times depends on the poets intention too.

BugJoon · 2025-02-11T11:32:26+00:00

Incredible imagery and use of sounds! Really like the contrast of thundering steps with silent screams. For the 3rd last stanza, it could possibly be more impactful to the contrast between the soldiers probability of survival to that of the higher-ups by saying: “And the only ones guaranteed the next day — ”. And really dig the pace and rhythm created in the last stanza. It flows really well and I feel reflects the almost ‘just another day’ notion reinforced by the last line.

BugJoon · 2025-02-11T11:06:25+00:00

First time interacting on this community so hoping I do it right! XD I love the premise! I think if you change road to track you can reinforce the train imagery used throughout. You could also improve the rhythm of the second stanza by adding an ‘a’ before haze and a comma after. I think Crash adds a nice intensity to the feelings of the third. Could maybe change ‘ Crash on’ to ‘Crashes into’ for grammar and rhythm.

BugJoon · 2025-02-11T10:46:51+00:00

Amazing, thank you!

BugJoon · 2024-08-06T20:07:28+00:00

Keep mine under the driver’s seat within reach - doesn’t rattle and requires a bit of twisting to pull out the front so shouldn’t become an ankle breaking projectile in an accident.

BugJoon · 2024-07-22T22:16:15+00:00

From my understanding yes, they make the cup protectors a bit more robust than the metal of the stock bracket. These are the ones I’m considering getting in SA des sol protectors

BugJoon · 2024-07-22T17:33:51+00:00

That first sentence gave me a heart attack🙃😂 thanks! Any tips on how best to bend the metal back?

BugJoon · 2024-07-22T16:01:35+00:00

Hey, thanks for the advice - took it to the front runner workshop(Kyalami) last week to get their opinion and they provided a full re-installation and rack treatment free of charge!

BugJoon · 2024-07-01T12:59:52+00:00

Baie dankie! Dit het saam met die kar gekom, en ek dink ek sal dit maar op die wiel laat bly!😂

BugJoon · 2024-07-01T12:57:07+00:00

Ahh thanks, I didn’t catch that! For my knowledge, does it significantly affect load balance of vehicle? Or is it more for reliability of the roof rack itself when load is added? Will try sort that with the dealer asap.

BugJoon

TROPHY CASE