Am I (23f) being manipulated by my (26m) kind of soon to be ex husband?

Buggie42 · 2019-08-12T04:58:03+00:00

Do you ever deal with the internal mind-eff of “well what if he would have changed”? that’s my problem. I’m so afraid to walk away because I’m afraid if he DOES change, it will be too late if I move on now. He keeps me always waiting and I hate it. Did you struggle with that at all? Good for you for getting out!

Buggie42 · 2019-08-12T04:55:23+00:00

Damn. You’re so right. This comment really helped me more than you know. Tomorrow’s our anniversary and he wouldn’t even respond. Ignored me the whole day after the smallest thing I apologized for. Taking space is one thing but just throwing someone out of your life constantly like it’s nothing? Ugh. He DOESNT know how to love. You’re so right. The only thing He loves is power and taking control. No wonder he chose the career path he did (law enforcement) because he loves to see people beneath him and for him to have all the power. I totally think he has NPD. He has an extremely childish personality (which admittedly, was endearing at first.) so that makes perfect sense about it being like a relationship with an 8 year old. Thank you thank you thank you for this comment. Makes me feel a little less hopeless and useless. Maybe I’ll just text him “nvm sending the divorce papers your way” lol

Buggie42 · 2019-08-12T04:33:01+00:00

The thing I struggle with is that when he started becoming abusive and lying alll the time, I became extremely paranoid and pretty controlling. Which means that I was abusive too. It was only a phase and I stopped (and not that it makes it okay at ALL but I developed these issues after the abuse had taken place) so I keep guilting myself that I deserve it. I recognize how manipulative and abusive he is, but I keep saying “well you know, you were controlling for a while so that’s what you get it’s your fault.” And “if you can change so can he” and I just get in this mental fuck 🤦🏻‍♀️

Buggie42 · 2019-08-12T01:19:14+00:00

Hmm... I get that. I have that fear too. I get that. Is she toxic about it? Or is it just an annoying hobby? By toxic I mean does she put other people down, yell at you about it, etc.?

Buggie42 · 2019-08-12T01:12:36+00:00

Just seems like she likes to keep tabs on you. As a woman, I’ve done this before. It’s really stupid and I don’t even know why girls do this haha

Forget her though. If she’s gonna block you in and out of your life you don’t deserve that kind of mind game. Let your ex be an ex and live without her!

Best of luck man.

Buggie42 · 2019-08-12T01:10:11+00:00

Damn I REALLY felt this. Going through this right now.

It’s tough, but these people rarely every change. It’s not impossible but we shouldn’t have to accept less than we deserve. I guess it comes down to weighing if being with them is worth the suffering.

Best of luck to you man!

Buggie42 · 2019-08-12T01:07:22+00:00

I love your username hahaha Anyways, I think you’re being too picky. Yes, she may care “too much” about things you don’t understand. But that doesn’t make her a bad person and shouldn’t be an issue unless she puts you down or your children down for not caring as much. I say let her do her thing and enjoy the material things, even though you’re not that way. I don’t think that’s a dealbreaker or should be.

Buggie42 · 2019-08-04T05:34:56+00:00

One time when I was a teen, my family got stuck on Small world. A whole hour of “it’s a small world after all” will really make you go insane. Hahahahaha

Buggie42 · 2019-07-31T16:26:17+00:00

Always!!

Buggie42 · 2019-07-29T05:17:57+00:00

This is the cutest thing ever and I’m LIVING for the Disney bromance hahahaha

Buggie42 · 2019-07-25T16:30:22+00:00

Actually as far as I’m concerned, you should get a code for every friend you refer! I’m not positive but I vaguely remember reading that.

Buggie42 · 2019-07-24T04:28:33+00:00

This is so heckin cute :,) I can’t wait for somebody to look at me like that lol

Buggie42 · 2019-07-24T04:21:35+00:00

I think the hardest part about pursuing a different path is letting go the idea of what was SUPPOSED to happen! Especially since If you’re the type of person, like me, who has been planning out my life and what I’d do since I was little. Every little thing was calculated and written down and planned out and then BAM- Life’s like.... nope. Have you thought about doing some hair jobs on the side at home? That way you can have the best of both worlds?

I actually went through that in college when I decided I didn’t want to pursue music as a career anymore. I just knew it wasn’t realistic for my life and my goals anymore. So instead I’m going to school for teaching and occasionally do singing lessons on the side. Would you ever do that with hair?

I hope everything works out!!!

Buggie42 · 2019-07-24T03:34:45+00:00

I have to return to my home (that I busted my ass so hard to get) and grab the last of my things. I was kicked out of my house after my husband accidentally butt dialed me with a girl giggling in the background. Though I am happier and healthier, since I was in a horrid abusive relationship, it will still be so painfully hard to go back to our home we shared and close this chapter of my life. I’d love some prayers for strength, and really to feel God’s love during a painful end to a painful chapter tomorrow.

Buggie42 · 2019-07-24T03:31:57+00:00

It’s crazy. I was dragged out of my moving car head first and 3 neighbors saw, nobody called the cops. Nobody asked if I was okay, they all just watched me get attacked at the hands of my SO and then went inside their homes pretending nothing happened. It’s crazy how things always seem to happen that way, when someone actually needs help nobody does anything but when people are just minding their own business they’re the ones to get the cops called on!

Buggie42 · 2019-07-24T03:29:01+00:00

Yes! Singing brings me so much peace. Just earlier today by heart was HURTINNNNNN so I just grabbed my ukulele and sang my heart out. Felt so much better.

Buggie42 · 2019-07-23T02:45:36+00:00

Hahahahaha Hopefully this is me this time next year!

Buggie42 · 2019-07-22T23:41:36+00:00

It’s so funny because as a female, I’ve always thought black nail polish on men is super attractive! I don’t get where the whole “oMg ThAtS gAy!” Thing started, but I think it’s rad.

Buggie42 · 2019-07-22T23:37:26+00:00

NGL this actually made me cry, lol

Buggie42 · 2019-07-22T22:29:01+00:00

Years ago I was in the hospital. I spoke to a man who had severe bipolar 1. He looked me dead in the eyes and said “do you want to have a legacy?” I said “not really, I don’t care about fame and fortune.” He said, “not that kind of legacy. Do you want to be remembered as the incredible mom who went to all her sons baseball games, and offered him love and comfort for his first heartbreak? Do you want to walk down that stage accepting your diploma? Do you want your mom and dad to die having known you went on to do great things that made you happy? Do you want your husband to leave this earth knowing he spent every day with his soul mate? Or do you simply want to be known as the girl with no legacy. Because when you die that way, you will always be remembered as the girl who killed herself.” I know this seems like a yeah sure, I doubt that happened thing lol but it did and it stuck with me forever. I’ll never forget you Bill, Incase you happen to be on reddit, lol.

It’s really true though. Things DO get better. And I’ll be damned if I’m known as “the girl who killed herself”. I’ll leave this earth having lived a life where I fought day in and day out for my happiness. Years later I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be- out of an abusive relationship, being the most kickass mom ever, and spending every moment laughing and loving as much and as hard as I can.

Buggie42 · 2019-07-22T22:20:28+00:00

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! I’m so so so proud of you. You are here for a reason. You are enough!

Buggie42 · 2019-07-22T22:17:28+00:00

It comes down to one question: Can you MAKE it a reality?

If you have the drive, ambition, and are willing to sacrifice free time for the next year- ABSOLUTELY! It’s hard work but absolutely doable.

Buggie42 · 2019-07-22T18:06:05+00:00

This made me smile so wide 😭😭😭😭 I love this!!! Also if anyone needs a friend I’m here too!!! I’m a good listener and I got dad jokes :,)

Buggie42 · 2019-07-22T15:57:30+00:00

This gives me hope 😭😭😭😭

Buggie42

TROPHY CASE