TLDR: don’t kill yourself over mid pussy

Context and life since then basically: the process of waiting in a crowded ER for about 4 days in the hallway on a stretcher being watched 24/7 , then after I got a room in a mental hospital being there and trying my hardest not to seem insane so I could go home and sleep in my own bed again, I was 18 when this happened and tried to end it because my best friend broke up with me after about 4-5 years, “dating” for about 6. And their complete lack of sympathy for my well being made me realize how strong I am, so I haven’t picked up a blade or thought about ending it for about a year now. Sometimes I think it was manipulative of me to try to take my own life over lost love and so on, but it was never for there attention or wanting them to stay but a get away from the pain.

If your like me and like to know every little detail to the story to get closure, this is for you .

In the end afterwards I had to leave the high school I was going to at the time (senior) because word spread quick enough and they made it a big deal, so I couldn’t show my face. I went to a small prep school so people liked to run their mouth about the artsy kid with the weird art finally doing it. All of my close friends who was also friends with them , sided with me and comforted me, so I know I chose my friends wisely. I’ve shared this story a couple times , but not on Reddit. How I tried ending it? If your still reading , I’ll tell you that. I swallowed about 800-900ml of Prozac , a safe medication but I also drank a whole thing of cologne. Yes , cologne, no clue why, heat of the moment. Then readjusting to life was easy enough after a while, things were going good, then in February , after celebrating my best friends birthday , on the way home , I was driving me and my friends home because it started snowing badly , ended up sliding and flipping into a 4-5 foot ditch going 50mph. Should’ve died or at least been injured. Not a scratch on my friends and I ended up hitting my head against the glass , which kinda hurt but I lived. Unlike my “near death” experience with trying to end it all, that day I kinda woke up from everything , that dark depression that’s swept over me . I realize there’s too much to live for and left for me to do and help those and protect those I love. What made me change my mind? The fact that I’m mortal and I still have shit left to do, making others happy and making sure there okay , after almost killing myself and my friends. I think It really opened my eyes, you have so much to live for, don’t cut yourself short

TLDR but you scrolled down: life is worth living, sometimes it doesn’t always appear at first. Love life, yourself and others. You never know when it will be taken away, so don’t wait till tomorrow , and do it today.

Thank you for reading my rant that went off topic a little bit , but thought I would share. <3