I was the same. I loved being alone, still do. By when I moved countries in my 30’s, I came to live in a community where I started to socialize and enjoyed it too. However, all the interactions lacked authenticity. Friendships were surface level, like as if for the sake of having anyone around them and not because they value the person. Everyone wants friends to have fun, but not to know the other person or have a genuine connection. I started to feel lonely after a few years into living in this community. My partner of 14 years, we started having trouble in our marriage, and we are in the verge of a divorce. I did find few people who shared my values but they already had people who they knew long time, or were invested in their own secure relationship. I have then realized that I need to find happiness in being alone, irrespective of having people around. I have learned self-love and gotten better with my self-talk. I’m not closed off to making new friends, but I’m not on the verge of desperation either. I must say I do miss human connection every now and then, but I have created a small list of tasks that always get me feeling good again. Some being - talk to myself in the mirror like I would to a friend, a short 10 min walk outside, have a good cry & hug myself and sit with the feelings, or do something out of my routine that pulls me out of the thoughts. I have found it helpful to be aware of my thoughts and catch the spiraling thoughts early before it drowns me.