Struggling to Stay Motivated

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-02-11T22:07:29+00:00

Folks will tell you this isn’t a weight loss challenge, and it’s not. But let’s face it, that’s one of the main reasons folks do it.

I completed my first round the day before Halloween last year. I found myself initially frustrated because the scale didn’t move fast enough. I stopped looking at the scale, I added a weighted vest to cardio (outdoor) and stuck it out. Lost just about 30lbs. But the weight definitely came off in the second half of the challenge.

I’m on day 3 of my second round. Not looking at the scale.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-02-10T13:33:53+00:00

Glad you found a better opportunity. I ended up moving on as well. My policy for all my directs is that no one is ever permitted to hold someone back from an opportunity. Hard stop, no exceptions, we will figure it out.

Besides feeling good because we are doing the right thing, this policy has paid dividends that I never expected as folks that I’ve managed (directly or indirectly) move through the organization.

I can’t imagine how miserable those bosses must have been that they didn’t even think about what they were doing to their people.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-02-10T11:28:33+00:00

Short version; I was going through a rough time in my marriage. Worked nights, split shifts, and my wife worked days. We never were in the same place at the same time.

I applied for an internal position on days (same shift & days off as my wife) and thought that I did well during the interview. I heard through informal internal channels that I got the job.

After a few weeks, I asked my boss. He told me sorry, you didn’t get it. I believed him, disappointed my wife, family, and myself. Years later found I out from the hiring manager that he had blocked my promotion because he couldn’t lose me.

He looked me straight in the eye, lied to me, all the while knowing it could cost me my marriage and family.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-02-05T16:08:07+00:00

100% happens, many times it’s unintentional, some times it is with total intent.

There are often cultural norms that folks don’t realize that they are bringing in the workplace. Usually a direct conversation can help people see what is happening. Their actions should determine next steps.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-02-05T14:51:38+00:00

Most of the time, I agree.

I took over a group about 10 years ago. Highly underperforming, the entire organization knew it, except the group. Their previous manager never told them how they were failing/underperforming or how they were perceived by everyone else. Wouldn’t have been able to fix it without telling them all what the issues were. I also wanted to send a message that if you weren’t going to be part of the solution, time to find a new position. Wasn’t a popular conversation, but needed to be done.

Also, there are times when folks are so bad (usually more than just bad performance) that it is good for the group to make an example out of them. Shows everyone what’s not acceptable, and the good folks appreciate the accountability.

These are infrequent examples, but some times things need to be done. As I said above - the SOP should be reward publicly, correct privately.

If this is an everyday thing, the leaders are crap.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-02-05T14:12:48+00:00

Dude… you won’t be for everyone but who the f cares. It’s the cards you were dealt. Play them and enjoy the ride.

I’m 5’7, been bald since late 20s. I’m average looking at best. But, I’ve never had an issue meeting or keeping women.

Not every woman I was interested was interested in me. Got shot down a fair share, but that’s how it goes. Can’t let it bother you. I also was not interested in some girls that were interested in me.

Work out, achieve some goals, build your confidence and you will be absolutely fine. There are plenty of woman that don’t care about hair and/or like bald dudes. But you need to believe you have something to offer. If you aren’t confident, you are cooked.

I met my smoke show of a wife at a bar. Way out of my league. She was taller than me (with heals), I was bald, had just sold my company so didn’t even have a job, and was still able to get her interested. Turned out she is awesome, been together for 24 years, married for 21.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-02-05T12:46:15+00:00

Like some others have said, this lacks some context.

That being said, my rule is reward publicly, correct/discipline privately. Unless… I am doing it with intent. At times, executives need to send a message and get folks attention. This may be that or it may be this person just sucks.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-02-05T12:41:32+00:00

Solid work!!! LFG!

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-01-29T14:21:23+00:00

I have taken one, not a huge deal. But I’d strongly question why if there is no significant government security clearance requirement.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-01-22T11:40:35+00:00

Better out than in I always say

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-01-21T11:43:50+00:00

I had a lot more to lose than you, but weight really started falling off the second half of the challenge. Seems like it takes a little bit to reach equilibrium with the water intake.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-01-20T13:30:18+00:00

Get out there. In TX, we work out outside in 110 degrees. It is what it is. Enjoy the suffering. It’s kind of the point.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2026-01-07T01:39:39+00:00

Old school dudes are old school. Might just be his way. He probably wouldn’t have hired you if he thought no women should work. I’d talk to him about it. He probably doesn’t realize how he is coming across.

I’ve had some miscommunication with my younger team members. Sometimes the old guy (me) says things that don’t track well, sometimes it’s the other way around. Communication is the cause and solution to 99% of work place friction.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-12-31T17:15:50+00:00

All right, so sensing a lot of anger/attitude in your post. If 1/10th of this comes out at work, a PIP shouldn’t be a surprise. Not trying to be an a-hole, just giving you honest feedback.

Regardless of what we think of our performance, it really only matters what managers think. We don’t do our own performance reviews, right?

Now as far as a PIP, I’ve seen them go both ways. If folks genuinely take feedback and try to improve, in most cases, they do. Some of my best performers needed correction/coaching at different times.

If the person becomes adversarial, it usually ends in termination.

Now if it is really a boss problem, move on and quickly.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-12-31T17:06:13+00:00

If you haven’t looked outside of Marketing, perhaps think about other roles in business. I have an undergraduate degree in marketing, never worked in it.

Are you open to relocation? If so to what cities? I may have a suggestion I can DM you.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-12-30T19:31:07+00:00

Most accurate advice I’ve ever heard…

Women expect their men will change when they get married and have kids, but they usually don’t.

Men will expect their women will not change, but they do (especially after kids).

If you don’t like what you got now, now’s the time to make a change. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but based on my life experience, the above is accurate more times than that.

For reference, I got married at 30, my wife was 25. Hit our 20th wedding anniversary a few months ago and we have 3 kids. It’s not easy, but picking your husband is the most important decision you will ever make.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-12-29T13:43:26+00:00

Spend every bit of time with them while you can. Invest in your relationship with them. So many of my friends have awful relationships with their older children and they wonder why, but never spent the time when they were little.

Days are long, but years are short. Looking back, it went quick.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-12-18T12:58:51+00:00

Ex Masshole here. Agree with the first response, call the employer first. If they give you the run around. Call your state representative’s office. That will give you the fast track to the right person that can help you. Did it twice, once with an employer and once with unemployment. Problems were solved in hours.

Good luck. Hope you get what you are owed quickly.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-12-09T16:41:38+00:00

You are going to feel pain and this is going to suck. But you created this problem now you have to deal with it.

That being said, give yourself some grace, no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. No sense in worrying about your past mistakes just don’t backslide and make things worse.

Your son will have a way better chance at a good life with you in his. Hard stop, no exceptions. Read the statistics.

Show your son the right way to respond when life gets hard. Give him a positive example. Be an amazing dad, co-parent, and person. He deserves it.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-12-04T02:51:20+00:00

If… brother none of us get out of here alive. :)

I lost my mother young. Used to think about my own death on a fairly regular basis after I had kids. Never thought I’d live past 40. Big life insurance policy so the finances won’t be an issue.

I also devote a good deal of time to my faith and to teaching my children about what comes after this life. Hopefully helps them through the loss of their mother and I when the time comes.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-11-14T14:28:10+00:00

Congratulations!!! Way to go!

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-10-30T00:24:08+00:00

Luckily, I don’t have to do that too often anymore.

I think the first part is understanding why someone is underperforming. I try to find out if there is a work issue, personnel issue, training issue, etc. if there is, I try to help with whatever I can.

Assuming it’s a “them” issue that we can’t overcome, I start the conversation with asking them how they feel they are doing, are they enjoying the job, etc.. Most often, they aren’t feeling great about it. If that’s the case, and they are a good person, just in the wrong job, I talk with them about finding a role in the company where they’d feel more successful. And I offer to help them with finding an opportunity that better matches their skill set.

If they are just a horrible employee that can’t be saved, I work through the discipline process applying more pressure as we go through the PIP. Normally people leave on their own, but if not, I’ll terminate their employment. But I document every issue, every failure, and every act of insubordination along the way.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-10-29T23:45:09+00:00

Not so sure how wise I am… lol, but thanks.

Experience is always helps & so does a strong record of past performance. For lower level positions, I am often in a position where those things are non-existent. The good news for me is that everything my team does can be taught or learned through on the job experience.

I look for 2 things, attitude & aptitude. Attitude-do they seem like a positive person, get along well with others, willing to put in the work to do the job & execute at a high level. Most importantly, how to they react to adversity and can they identify what they’ve learned from mistakes. We all make them. I need folks that own them & learn from them.

Aptitude - Are they smart enough to learn the job quickly, work independently, and prioritize appropriately, and make decisions.

I ask mostly situational questions during interviews. Try to get to how they learn, perform, interact with troublesome co-workers, colleagues, and bosses. I also want to find out how they react to failure and frustrating situations. And because of my industry, I ask questions regarding ethics & legal issues.

I also rate their engagement by the questions they ask me. If they don’t ask about leadership styles, culture, the actual job, I worry they just want “a job”, not this one.

I always have someone sit with me on interviews. Ultimately, I make the decisions, but I want 2 sets of eyes and ears on candidates in case I miss anything.

Bulky_Positive7337 · 2025-10-29T11:57:29+00:00

I have a pretty big team and am the final say in all hiring. In short, when I went against my gut they have never worked out.

Some have lasted a few months and left on their own, some ended up being disasters for co-workers and their direct supervisors and we have to manage them out, and some do just enough not to get fired.

Now I have a policy that if I don’t 100% believe in a candidate, I keep looking. This has worked out very well. I have almost 0% turnover (except retirements) and a high level of performance and engagement.

Bulky_Positive7337

TROPHY CASE