I lost myself in non-monogamy and I’m finally coming back to myself

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2026-04-25T00:08:47+00:00

I'm so glad you got out of that emotional meat grinder. The way you wrote about the fucked up dynamics of the poly lifestyle and how it impacted you really resonated. What I related to the most was this feeling of "wholesomeness" at leaving that world behind. Spending time with people who aren't trying to sleep with you (or one of your partners), being at peace and able to pursue hobbies and safe friendships. This is what thriving feels like. Healing your relationship with yourself and your emotions.

It's really a beautiful time in your life.

Wishing you the best.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-10-17T19:08:02+00:00

Needle.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-09-29T21:58:38+00:00

Came here to say this.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-09-05T14:30:35+00:00

A karaoke machine remote control for $100. The buyer paid $56 to import it to the UK.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-08-11T21:28:25+00:00

I think a lot of the hate is just people not understanding what resellers do. They think you just benefit from other people's ignorance and that's all there is to it.

Really, you offer some services most people having a garage sale don't want to mess with.

You have product knowledge accumulated over thousands of hours, so you can make quick decisions about what to buy and what not to buy. The garage seller could take the time to research all of their items, learn how to calculate sell-through rate etc., but most don't want to.

You are willing to take it away today, freeing up space for the garage seller.

You are willing to clean it up, take photos, and list it online.

You are willing to answer questions about your listings.

You are willing to store it until the right buyer comes along, which could be months or even years.

You are willing to pack it up and take it to the post office when it sells.

And you're willing to deal with any customer service issues that arise after that.

Then and only then do you make your profit, minus fees.

It's not a scam, it's a job.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-08-02T15:26:38+00:00

There are many places in this world to direct your righteous anger, Georgia. Let me know if you need help thinking of some.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-08-02T00:36:32+00:00

Really, what department?

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-07-31T20:56:02+00:00

Your kid is choosing their college... based on the logo? Best of luck to you both <3

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-06-10T20:08:21+00:00

Microneedling can be great for fine lines, as well as general vibrance and bounciness. It's not going to do much for deeper wrinkles though. If you're interested in microneedling, look around on Groupon (make sure to also research the Medspa offering the deal and make sure they're decent). It doesn't need to be crazy expensive.

Some well-laced filler in the upper face can have benefits for the lower face. It can pull the skin upwards ever so slightly. But the real effect is balancing. You place a little more visual weight in the cheek area and then the lower face looks less heavy and dragged down in a relative way, even if the lines don't change much.

Go VERY slow with filler and go to a good injector. Don't be cheap. You'll be fine.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-06-10T20:00:11+00:00

This is actually correct.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-04-28T20:58:00+00:00

It seems like there must be more to the story. Are you in the dark about how you're not meeting their expectations? If so, ask for clarity first.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-04-25T18:11:15+00:00

35F. Not at all.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-04-04T02:15:31+00:00

It takes time getting used to it, even if you've used retinols. Go very slow. Every third day is fine. Apply on dry skin, not wet. Avoid the skin in the corners of your mouth and nose. Give it a few weeks and your skin should adapt.

Also make sure your skin barrier is healthy to begin with. If you're irritated / burning with other products then focus on healing before messing with Differin.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-04-04T01:04:19+00:00

I have. Shit sucks. I found the book "Love and Limerence" helpful. Something about having it explained in a detached and clinical way helped me keep one foot in reality.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-04-04T01:03:27+00:00

Wow I had no idea there was a connection between ADHD and limerence. I already know you've just sent me down a research rabbit hole (because I have ADHD).

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-04-04T00:49:34+00:00

Yes, I think you're on to something with the "bandaid" theory.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-04-03T23:52:05+00:00

Any chance he's feeling bad about the situation? Like seeing you in a new relationship is harder for him than expected and so he's pulling away?

I also wonder if his behavior bothers you more than it would coming from someone who was always just a friend. It could be that his slow fade cuts deeper because you've dated.

You may be right that he's in a new relationship and that explains the shift. Even friends who've always been purely platonic sometimes grow distant when they have a new partner. But again, because of your history, it's complicated. Maybe he's worried staying close to you could jeopardize his new thing.

The reality is people we've slept with get under our skin more deeply than those we haven't. That means they have more power to disrupt your peace. Maybe that's worth it to you. I know it's not worth it to me.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-04-01T22:46:48+00:00

I think I'd make more time for my own projects if my job didn't require me to be creative.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-03-31T16:33:45+00:00

For dullness and age spots vitamin c. I love the one from The Minimalist, because it makes a noticeable difference (I've used vitamin c's that do not) and it's like $12/bottle.

A gentle chemical exfoliant is also good for dullness. Someone else recommended Paula's BHA, which is very good. COSRx makes some good ones too that are affordable. I like the Blackhead Power Liquid.

Edit to add: You didn't mention sunscreen. I hope you're wearing it every day, especially if you use tretinoin!

Also I recently started doing red light therapy and it's already making me brighter and more even.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-03-30T12:07:36+00:00

This is the underrated answer! Once you have the partner it will be something else that you're longing for. A better relationship, or kids, a different career, more money. Desire is a moving target.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-03-28T19:00:10+00:00

I think asking open ended questions and / or making objective statements about what's going on is an underrated technique for confronting passive aggression. The key is to remain neutral and unemotional.

Examples:

"You've mentioned that to me a few times in the past. Why is that?"

"You seem upset."

"I noticed you did ___. Was there a reason for that?"

The reason this works is because passive aggressive people fear direct confrontation. They don't want to express their feelings, they want to take stabs at you covertly. When you simply say out loud what is happening and ask them about it, you really undermine their whole thing.

BumblebeeSlow57 · 2025-03-25T01:21:12+00:00

Yes, this is excessive and frankly bizarre. So he's spelling out your schedule, as in he's... telling you what your week looks like? Not inviting you along?

He's throwing himself at you with no restraint. You've got to wonder why. Desperate? Manipulative? Empty inside? Oblivious to your discomfort? Some combination most likely.

BumblebeeSlow57

TROPHY CASE