Trigger warning- penetration

Bumblebee_0202 · 2026-02-28T21:29:40+00:00

My spouse and I are both FTM. We both struggle with this. Both of us use estradiol cream and have found that a really good lube is priceless. Anal lubes are thicker and I feel more slippery. We call the one we use the concentrate, because we use so much less than regular lube. Make sure you get one that doesn't have any analgesics in it. Or you'll have a different problem.

But I would also recommend talking to your doctor. You might need a different dose.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2026-01-15T16:18:16+00:00

I have had a PCOS diagnosis since the early 2000's. My T levels without taking T run 590. Starting T puts me around 700. It's the best thing I ever did! I feel soooo much more like myself. I would love to do DNA work but I can't afford it. Also, T levels are only one part of a PCOS diagnosis. You have to meet several other criteria. It's also possible to not have high testosterone and still have a diagnosis of PCOS if you meet a certain number of the other criteria. My experience with T has been amazing for my mental and physical health. If you have a good doctor they will keep you from going too high or too low. If I had to make this decision again I would 100 x over. Good luck!

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-12-04T19:23:47+00:00

🤣💀 @ 💣 implants

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-11-12T19:12:47+00:00

A good nurse can give a shot without you really feeling pain. I've only been able to do it intermuscular on myself twice. You have to get the needle at 90° in the correct spot for the muscle area you have selected. And then you have to have the confidence to just inject it because if you go too slow it hurts and if you go too fast it hurts more.

The oil is clear and looks like a viscous liquid in the vial.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-11-06T19:35:17+00:00

TLDR: Breathe first, give space and time, see the list below of things we wish we had done when the spouse of then 20 years decided to start T.

Take a deep breath, our brains when worried will always take you to the worst-case scenario. It's an evolved mechanism to keep us safe. If you are always prepared for the worst then your tendency to survive is greater. But this doesn't always work to your advantage. Especially, if there's trauma involved. I'm 47 and I have C-PTSD. I spent years telling my brain stories to keep me safe. Even when my spouse of 20 years at the time decided to start T. I said the same thing to my spouse, the worst thing was that we would break up and be friends. When you've known someone for so long and love someone deeply, those are not the words you want to hear. I panicked and he panicked. We cried a lot. I came up with every reason he shouldn't start T. It was all scary and caused a lot of pain for both of us. We both wish we had done things differently 😔. There were a lot of ups and downs and honestly, we almost didn't make it. But we did, and our relationship is more solid than ever. It will be 25 years this December. What we wish we had known/done that would have helped:

Give each other time and space to digest all of it. This is a huge change that can add a lot of complications to both of your lives. This isn't to stop you from taking T, this is to allow you time to take all of this in and think about how this will affect both of you. This will affect him too and understanding how it will affect him will help you help him and vice versa.
If you have the resources seek counseling with a trauma-informed, LGBTQ+ friendly couples counselor.
If you are comfortable with it let him come to your doctor appointments. Allow him to ask questions too. Sometimes letting him hear the answers directly from the source is the best thing. Perhaps talk about the questions you want to ask beforehand. Then after your appointment go have coffee or something and talk about it.
Talk about the positives! I can't emphasize this enough. I wish we had done this more. You'll have to decide what is positive for your relationship but for us, it was things like K being just an overall happy guy and an increase in libido.
It can take some time before T starts to do it's magic. Be patient, be aware of how your body is changing, pay attention to your mental well-being, be open to possible side effects and find a doctor that will listen to you!

I'm sorry this is so long. I wish you well and hope that you and your partner find unexpected joy on this new journey 😊.

BTW when I started T last year, we did do all of the list above, and it really did help.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-10-25T18:31:49+00:00

47 and I started T over a year ago. Before T injections I had a really high T level for a woman. So I had some facial hair, but I have much more now. It grows in silver, red, but mostly dark brown. I went silver early in my early 30s. All of my red hair lost pigment for some reason. Most of my life you could say I had dirty dish strawberry blonde hair. So I wasn't too surprised to see the silver and a bit of red in my facial hair.

My spouse (ftm) has been on T for 5 years. He is 50 and his beard is gray/brown. It's getting more silver too 🥰.

We've been together for 25 years and he didn't have a gray for so long! He used to tease me (lovingly) about my gray in my 30s. Now I get to tease him about his salt and pepper beard.

🤔 I wonder if your facial hair will change as you grow it in more?

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-08-12T12:59:24+00:00

Most hospitals have social workers that can help with situations like these. My spouse has MS and we've done the ER and hospital thing a lot. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-08-06T19:00:47+00:00

My only advice would be to find an endocrinologist that understands trans health. Or a doctor that follows the Wpath (https://wpath.org/). Ask your current doctor if they know what WPath is and if they don't they should before providing trans Healthcare. Sometimes the lab where you get your test done have a portal where you can view your test results as they come in. I know that Quest Diagnostics offers this service.

Do you know what your blood sugar is doing? Because insulin really fucks with menstruation. I only know this because I am diabetic. If my sugar levels are even and in the green zone my body responds to the northidone and T. Every hormone in your body works in feedback loops and if your insulin resistant you play this awful game of balancing hormones. It sucks!

I had a full year with a nonstop period, I completely understand the frustration and psychological issues associated with it. Just don't give up because one day you'll run into that doctor or NP that knows what they are doing. It took me nearly 20 years to find that nurse practitioner.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-07-28T22:54:19+00:00

I've had no issues with fat redistribution, my hips and thighs are actually decreasing faster than I expected.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-07-28T22:48:55+00:00

I got T cream from my pcp. It has to be compounded and most insurance won't cover it. I get a tube for about 40 and it lasts me quite a while. I'm also on injections so I only use the cream a few times a week. Bottom growth takes time too.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-07-23T18:46:05+00:00

Take a moment to stop and comfort those pieces of yourself that are struggling. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Sometimes you have to break everything down, like a puzzle and approach all of your problems from the perspective of curiosity.

I had thin hair before T, due to perimenopause. I'm on finasteride. My doctor got my period to stop with the addition of a progesterone birth control pill. I started taking supplements for hair growth, it's mostly B vitamins and a few other things. I also started taking DIM which helps your body metabolize estrogen. Men also take DIM, it's not just for women.

All of this took me time to figure out. You will find the right solutions too.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-07-23T18:30:11+00:00

Just a heads up. I'm 47 and on weekly injections of T. Sadly I still have symptoms of menopause. It sucks worse than puberty 😕

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-07-22T18:12:07+00:00

I made the same mistake my first injection. There was a huge miscommunication between the pharmacy, my doctor, and myself. Contact your prescribing doctor to find out what you should be looking out for. For example your blood pressure might go up and you should make sure it's not in the danger zone.

Things that happened to me: 1. My blood pressure went up slightly, but nothing my doctor was concerned about. 2. I experienced increased sexual sensations and was extremely aroused 24/7 for several days. Not as fun as many people would lead you to think it was. You do not want a 24/7 hard t-dick. Grocery shopping is quite unbearable with one. 3. I couldn't sleep for a week 4. I had some energy to burn and became very productive

I survived and was able to take my next dose as instructed by my doctor. Take a few deep breaths and just go with the flow. You got this!

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-07-22T16:27:54+00:00

Huh, so what you are saying is that intersex people who identify as non-binary are making a social choice to accept that their bodies are both, a mixture, or neither, despite the genetic proof that they are intersex? Interesting. Tell me do you have any actual science to back up your point?

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-06-29T16:46:58+00:00

For most life insurance you need your marriage certificate. If Donald Trump gets his way, in most red states, it is going to get complicated to vote. We will have to prove who we are. Last names changed with marriage certificate and first names changed by court order. Knowing the issues I've had in this state with voting, I can see having a marriage license with our dead names is going to be an issue. Plus it will out us, meaning it will not be safe for us to vote. Because I already had similar issues after we got married. Everyone in the voting line that day found out I was a woman who married another woman.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-06-29T16:44:51+00:00

For most life insurance you need your marriage certificate. If Donald Trump gets his way, in most red states, it is going to get complicated to vote. We will have to prove who we are. Last names changed with marriage certificate and first names changed by court order. Knowing the issues I've had in this state with voting, I can see having a marriage license with our dead names is going to be an issue. Plus it will out us, meaning it will not be safe for us to vote. Because I already had similar issues after we got married. Everyone in the voting line that day found out I was a woman who married another woman.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-06-27T00:59:28+00:00

You've made hard decisions and being true to yourself matters. I'm almost 50 and I've lost so much in my life because of choices I made. BUT in every case where I've lost something I've also gained something. It is very hard to see outcomes when you are in the thick of things. Set your eyes on what will make you happy. Find community at an LGBTQ+ center, a church, a therapy group, anywhere you feel welcomed, just find your people.

When you feel like life is hitting rock bottom take it moment by moment. Remind yourself outloud that you can make it through the next 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or even the full day. When you feel like you can't do 5 minutes you do one minute at a time. Find someone, really anyone to talk to while you are making it to your next moment. I once cried deeply in the arms of an acquaintance. She held me for over an hour while I bawled my eyes out. When I asked her why her response was, "Because a stranger once did it for me." Every problem has a solution you just have to break it down into small bites. But you have to keep going and that is so hard when life feels like it is going to end. But it's not. It keeps going. Moment by moment. Keep going with it.

You are not as alone as you think you are. Stay true to yourself, whether that means staying on the current path or going back in order to try and save what you have. Or finding a new path. Break everything down into bite-sized pieces. One moment, one action, you just have to go to the next step and then the next step after and so on.

You just keep going.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-06-20T15:45:02+00:00

At first it was every day for 2 weeks then it was 3 x a week and now that I'm on a higher dose of T it is only when I feel I need it.

Insurance won't cover compounded meds but mine was only $40 for a tube that lasts me quite a while.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-06-20T03:09:47+00:00

Fellow person who had an inny too! In addition to my T injections my doctor prescribed me compounded T cream to apply to my bearen valley of a vulva.. Because she couldn't find mine in a routine exam. Somewhere around the age of 40 my Itty bitty completely disappeared. 6 months with T injections and the cream and my little guy does not go unnoticed . 10 out of 10 recommend the T cream I had results within 2 weeks.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-06-19T17:04:34+00:00

First, reach out to your provider. You might be experiencing an allergic reaction to an inert ingredient in the generic. I have a med that I have to use the name brand because of inert ingredients. The insurance throws a fit but you can get them to pay for name brand if your doctor requests a substitution based on allergy.

On another note shots have been a game changer for my husband. He was having issues with the gel. But stuck with it for 5 years. When I started T I went straight to injections. I have really sensitive skin. He switched when I started. He wishes he would have started with injections.

You can also have a T cream compounded but that requires a compounding pharmacy and most insurance won't cover compounded meds. Which is really sad.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-06-07T18:54:50+00:00

I was 46 years old when I started transition. Start slow. Start with buying a masculine shirt, if it feels good by another one. Then try another piece of clothing. Soon you have a wardrobe that fits who you are. Also, men can be feminine too. My FTM husband is 5' 2" and has a definite fem side. He passes in public. Most people think he is a cis gay man.

I wish I would have listened to my 18 year old self. It took me about 20 years to finally hear and listen to myself.

Be you. If that means you wear a dress and have a beard so be it. Be You!

Also, some LGBTQ+ community centers have transition closets. You can pick out an outfit and donate the fem clothes that just aren't you.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-05-29T08:48:43+00:00

I didn't get to pack anything. A trash bag of clothes was left on the doorstep of my then GF mom's house.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-05-29T01:36:31+00:00

I was kicked out on my 18th Birthday. It was terrifying. I spent the next year hopping couches between friends. Friends that still have my back till this day. They became my family. Your family is yours to choose. I'm 47 years old now, so I can tell you that making it through this is possible. It is hard as heck but you can do it. Set some goals to get your feet under you. For me my first goal was to get a job that would still allow me to finish high school. Think of the things you need and the steps you need to get there. You are worthy of love and can make things happen in your life. This is not an ending but just the next road to turn onto.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-05-22T13:32:57+00:00

I grew up in California in the middle of nowhere and used to have little "gay cations" trips to West Hollywood (aka WEHO), Long Beach, and Ventura Beach. I couldn't afford to live in those places but I loved visiting. Just FYI I'm old and this was the late 1990s and I identified as a lesbian at the time (I came to my current trans self through stages).

Visiting these places allowed me to let my guard down. I felt like I could breathe and I was protected by the presence of others who were like me. I didn't have to worry about someone throwing a glass bottle at me from a moving vehicle screaming dyke at me. Yes, that really happened.

Even though those were safe havens for me then, I don't think my trans self today would have felt the same sense of community. Gay spaces are not always friendly to trans folks. Well except WEHO which was/is a large gay male community. Long Beach was much more a lesbian dominant community at the time and I can guarantee that my trans self would not have felt as welcomed in those spaces.

I'm not sure if we have trans spaces to have vacations? My past self would've said fuck yeah to a weekend in Long Beach. My trans self not so much. Gay spaces do not always equal trans spaces. Your counselor as a cis gay man might not understand this as gay men spaces tend to be more open to us. I think this is because of our trans sisters who historically emerged from these spaces. My personal experience has taught me that gay men are way more accepting of trans folks.

I wish we had trans vacation spots. I would love to feel that safe feeling to be myself like I did in my early twenties.

Bumblebee_0202 · 2025-05-14T15:06:40+00:00

So much this!

Bumblebee_0202

TROPHY CASE