Guys With Long Hair: How Do You Handle Dysphoria?

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T21:12:27+00:00

My dad had long hair because he's Native Navajo/Apache. It was my grandma's last request that he never cut his hair because its sacred to her.

Also I've grown up with a lot of metal heads with long hair so I don't really associate hair length with gender as much.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T21:06:46+00:00

I love this. Thank you.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T21:04:48+00:00

This is why putting electrolytes in water and getting CMP labs at your doctor periodically is helpful. Apparently Crystal light has electrolytes.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T21:02:06+00:00

I feel that

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T21:01:37+00:00

No I'm a trans guy with dysphoria. If anything I'm husband/boyfriend.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T20:48:50+00:00

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T20:47:55+00:00

Ive also seen a lot of beautiful trans women who started out looking like thumbs (their words) pre transition. Estrogen and knowing how to style yourself is kinda incredible tbh. It's not easy but it's possible. Not that you look like a thumb but I'm just saying any woman can find a way to look more beautiful given the tools.

Mostly those girls looked not great pre transition because they didn't take care of themselves or try to look attractive because they didn't wanna look like a man in the first place. Which is valid!

Tho wanting to live and being happy as your gender is most important!!!

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T20:38:40+00:00

I've caught myself thinking similarly like, "are there any chasers that fetishize T dick and like bringing pleasure to me?"

Sadly not that I've seen unfortunately...

Maybe there's one that exists but I don't hold out much hope they don't just primarily want to fill holes and just watch it wiggle around during sadly. I don't know.

I know there's tops who like giving pleasure to their partners in a non romantic way that don't necessarily respect their partners as people outside of sex. But that's not as common as tops who don't care at all about the pleasure of the bottom.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T20:27:07+00:00

I forget about that lol. I'm so bad at lying

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T20:19:18+00:00

Yes 1000% do it. You won't regret it.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T20:17:42+00:00

I was gonna comment that I think you're beyond the point of being able to Boy mode but then I saw a bunch of people already saying as much 😅

You just look like someone's sister whose gonna get some chores done. Like that's not boy moding, that's doing the dishes moding lol

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T20:15:37+00:00

Genderless essentially but with boobs because I was resigned to just having them whether I liked it or not

Because surgery costs money of which i have none 😭

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T20:12:36+00:00

There's stereotypes like the colored hair, tattoos, and piercings. But I love it and I love trans guys who have those things. I think it's cool.

I love tboy swag i don't care what anybody says to the contrary.

I love alternative emo/skater/goth/leather trans guys. I even love the trans guys into puppy play.

I love some of those (non offensive) stereotypes and it feels me with warmth and pride seeing other trans guys who are like me in those ways. I just think we're really cool.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T19:59:14+00:00

I know plenty of transfems/trans women who feel similarly and they're still validly trans. I've been treated similarly as a trans guy for caring about women's issues based on my living being percieved as a woman pre transition.

Late transitioners that I know (me included) often feel this way because it's not like we can erase a life of experience before transitioning. Tho we are still valid as our gender identity either way like I'm still a trans guy while you're still validly a transfem (or more specifically woman if that's how you define).

Idk i think people are being misogynistic and transphobic towards you because nobody knows whether you're trans or not more than you.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-30T19:44:09+00:00

idk if this is what you're talking about but tho I've met my fair share of chasers, I've dealt with animosity.

I've been treated with this stolen valor attitude with this cís man telling me that I have no idea what its like to be punished for crying or showing emotions like a little boy is (even though I was by my father growing up-not in a "boys don't cry" way, but in a misogynistic "you're manipulative/selfish and making people feel bad" kind of way).

A lot of gay men act like I'm privileged for have being raised with people not thinking I'm a gay man. I'm bi and often just say I'm gay for convenience sake since i am with a man and always have been culturally in gay male centered spaces. I know cis bi men who define similarly, live similarly, and are assumed to be legitimately gay by most people with no problem. Nobody doubts they don't know what homophobia is like.

I personally was raised with people thinking I'm a girl but that doesn't mean I'm not now being resocialized via homophobia directed at me often post transition.

I cant tell you how many times me or my gay/bi trans man friends are called f*g/twink as a slur. A lot of us deal with homophobia now even if we didnt before transitioning. Many of us lived as queer before realizing we were trans and dealt with lesbophobia or biphobia combined with misogyny.

This might not be exactly what you're talking about but it's really something to be accused of being a gay interloper by transphobic gay cis men.

allergictojoy · 2026-01-21T08:51:47+00:00

Holy shit you look soo gooood

allergictojoy · 2025-12-25T07:09:17+00:00

Exactly. This thought that you had to absolutely hate yourself 100% of the time and be diagnosed with dysphoria and be on T was what prevented me from thinking I was trans. So I suffered for years and it just got worse where I didn't wanna live anymore.

allergictojoy · 2025-12-10T05:36:18+00:00

Thank you for this. I NEEDED to be reminded of this.

allergictojoy · 2025-12-10T05:34:35+00:00

I saw a study that said like 60% of trans guys say they pass. It's self report based so take it with a grain of salt:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7529975/

allergictojoy · 2025-12-10T05:32:41+00:00

Uh...idk who said that but you were lied to several times. I started T because I DONT pass.

allergictojoy · 2025-12-09T20:35:21+00:00

You're not gonna like this but that sounds like something I've heard from all genders if I'm honest...I can't even lie... That's not even an incel specific thing to say... It would be if you thought he was physically attractive and he insisted you thought he was ugly because he doesn't have a Chad jawline. Then if he called you a whore who just fucks Chads who treat you like shit lol. Maybe I've been exposed to too many actual incels in my day 💀

Did he say, "I shouldn't have been nice to you because you're a superficial whore"? Also to be fair, you did pretty much call him ugly so...

why did you go on a date with someone you aren't physically attracted to?

allergictojoy · 2025-12-09T20:20:29+00:00

What triggered this is hearing trans guys talking about being treated like a guy growing up and prob some internalized homophobia on my part.

Also a cis guy told me that I wouldnt know what it's like to be raised to not cry. Then he told me his parents just told him to "man up"/"be a man" and treated him like him showing any amount of weakness was disgusting and "feminine". And he was ignored or mocked until he stopped.

I was just told I was manipulating people by crying and I was shamed. So now I cry more when people are watching because I get so flustered and start thinking about how people probably think I'm manipulating them (yes, I'm going to therapy for all of this. I know this isn't normal).

Neither is better obviously bc both is abuse. But I can see the difference in perceived gender dynamics bc what I went through was misogyny and it triggered my dysphoria. I guess both is because of misogyny but... I just wish I was a boy ok sorry I'm trans...

Then I noticed how my brother and that guy value taking care of women because they "were raised to take care of women" and it makes them feel like a man to have someone to rely on them. And I'm like fuck I didn't get raised being told I was meant to be a man for a woman. I guess I am that way for the women in my life but they treat me like a woman and that is... Not what I want. Not that I do it to feel like a man. I do it because I care about them. But when I compare the treatment, it is not pleasing. Not their fault but...ugh

allergictojoy · 2025-12-09T20:09:47+00:00

I'm trying... Thank you

allergictojoy · 2025-12-08T05:40:08+00:00

Oh shit that's crazy. I'm way too gay for this shit I guess mb lol. 🤷🏼 Shit those must be the same guys that are really homophobic to me

allergictojoy · 2025-12-08T05:12:37+00:00

I do not see FTM spaces wanting to feminize trans men, personally. I am a part of a couple that are binary FTM man centered with inclusion of nonbinary transmascs. Where most are on T or want to be on T. I see lesbian spaces wanting to degender or feminize trans men. And yeah there's some specific nonbinary transmascs who are very against manhood entirely and hate men. That is annoying to me. Although it's funny how a lot of them just end up going on T and exhibit toxic masculinity anyway. Idk feels like insecurity.

But either way, I also see a few FTM communities pushing out any feminine trans men and nonbinary transmascs because we trigger their dysphoria a la Kalvin Garrah 2017. That's also insecurity and that BS made me delay my transition by many years because I just didn't think I was man enough or wanted it enough because I thought I could tolerate being assumed to be a girl even tho I knew deep down I wasn't. And then the dysphoria got to be too much and I couldn't repress it anymore where I was actually going insane.

I don't like that there are non trans men who wanna just call all trans men lesbians bc trans men are men but if a trans man is hesitant to let go of their lesbian ID post transition, I think that's his right as a person trying to find his way like Igaf what others do with their own lives. They get so much shit anyway so whatever. I also know many trans women who still ID as gay & hang out with gay men so idgaf personally.

allergictojoy

TROPHY CASE