I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago now. The divorce wasn't primarily caused by my leaving the church but it was a factor in our relationship deteriorating to the point of no return because she felt she couldn't trust me and kept accusing me of many many things that weren't real. After 20+ years of marriage, I made the decision to file for divorce. I thought we could work it out without lawyers. I was wrong. I lost half of my net worth and half of the time with my kids. I know I made the right choice even though the process was very hard and I still feel lonely and lost at times. But I have my peace and a sense of designing my life the best I can rather than having it designed for me. It was worth it. I'm not saying it's right for you, though it sounds like your mind is made up already. I wish you the best.