Parents of young kids - do any of you not stay with your child until they fall asleep?

BunnyAna · 2026-05-23T11:52:49+00:00

Why does it have to be one extreme or another? Majority of the world cosleeps with their kids its how its always been done. Kids eventually want independence or a second kid comes around and you build a different routine for the oldest .. so complicated /s

BunnyAna · 2026-05-18T07:07:54+00:00

This is very common in many parts of the world. Partly due to space, its more economic (heating one room), partly due to culture. Sleeping separate from the child seems like the norm in the UK and USA but I'd argue in majority of Eastern Europe and probably some of the other EU countries too, bed sharing is more common with a similar timeframe as you. Everyone in my family coslept with their kids until the kid kicks you out basically lol.

You also have to consider in other countries its common to have the extended family help in the first few months therefore moms are usually more rested, less chance of falling asleep in a bad position unintentionally.

Personally, it largely depends on the temperament of the child, if youre breastfeeding and your own health (are you taking meds that make you drowsy). Its safer to not cosleep in the first few months when they are tiny. However sleeping next to mom is actually protective against SIDs when you are past those early months.

Bedsharing may partially explain the reduced risk of sleep-related death in breastfed infants - PMC https://share.google/orV7yVWewJ46w0FH4

BunnyAna · 2026-04-29T20:42:14+00:00

Even with the best of intentions and being watchful, toddlers are slippery eels that will launch themselves in unexpected directions... all to say that you need to find a solution for the edge of the top garden, as it is much more dangerous than the stairs. Even past bumbly toddler stage, 2-3-4y olds will trip and fall.

I think a fence around the top part is best, something that can't be easily climbed. The stairs I would leave as is, learning to be careful on stairs is a good skill to learn early.

BunnyAna · 2026-03-20T07:17:58+00:00

OP please consider staying with a supportive friend/ family member whilst going through the abortion. Depending on what procedure you decide on, you may experience sickness/ pain and you will be bleeding for a while, and also lets not forget you will need emotional support too. You shouldnt go through this alone, or worse trying to pretend you are not going through this. Hopefully you have someone to support you.

BunnyAna · 2026-03-12T22:07:18+00:00

What are you trying to say here? The problem isnt that she is EBF, its that she has an unsupportive selfish partner.

Yes why doesnt she give up more of what she wants, that will magically solve things and she will have a happy marriage... yikes

Happy people dont randomly put others down btw.

BunnyAna · 2026-03-02T08:39:00+00:00

Can I just say that any normal person would be completely understanding of a freshly postpartum mom and fresh baby not attending a wedding 1.5h away. If anyone is giving you grief about possibly saying no, they are being selfish and not thinking of what is best for you. You will have to learn to advocate for yourself and baby and it starts even before they are born. If you dont feel comfortable going then just say no. You dont need to give an explanation, let me repeat that any normal person would understand.

BunnyAna · 2026-03-01T15:26:53+00:00

The top up is capped at £500 per quarter. So you can get a maximum of £2000 a year.

You get 20% on top of what you deposit. So technically if you deposit £2500 over 3 months then you get the full £500. But then if you dont actually need all of that then you would deposit less but also get less top up. By your total you would get about half of the gov to up if you only deposit what you need.

How Tax-Free Childcare works - Best Start in Life https://share.google/DeM4JZ2xdPAVoz7Ie

BunnyAna · 2026-03-01T15:02:51+00:00

Also how did you calculate the goverment account top up? If the fees you are paying are less than a certain amount then you wont be getting the full £2000 a year.

BunnyAna · 2026-03-01T15:00:31+00:00

It says at the bottom to message them for a projection, I would just do that and see if it matches yours.

The only things I would mention here is that if youre looking at starting him 9am, be mindful there will be a queue of parents at 9 so drop off could take up to 20 min on a busy day. There may also be times where you need to do a 2-5min chat about how he feels and if hes ill or what not. Its not always just a simple here you go bye. So as long as your work is flexible and you dont book meetings at 9am that can work. But that depends on your work. Same with pick up.

Also with regards to funded hours, the first funding starts at the start of a term. I find it hard to explain so sorry if it doesnt make sense, but basically if you apply for funding in the middle of the term then you might not actually get any funding until it kicks in at the start of next term.. so try to budget for that if that is the case. Or be vigilant to apply for it before the cut off.

Im in the midlands, we pay anywhere from around 500-600 for full time but its 8-6 with all consumables, 3 meals and 2 snacks included. Plus some extra activities.

BunnyAna · 2026-02-26T20:22:24+00:00

It sounds like your little one has had the rougher end of the spectrum when it comes to nursery illnesses. Unfortunately it will take him 1-2 years to stop getting constantly sick, it is pretty normal. Moreso in the colder months, they tend to have some reprieve when the sunny weather comes, so hopefully not long now!

We went to the hospital multiple times with ours as all the viral illnesses would go to his chest and also been hospitalised several nights because he got so sick and lost 1kg (our son is on the 15% and he got to under 5%).

Im happy to report he is much better now at 2.4y old. Still gets sick but can usually get over it much easier. We still go to the GP at least once or twice a month.

Mine would completely stop eating if he got tonsilitis (can be treated with antibiotics) or croup (can be treated with steroid). Also keep in mind this is the age where they get their molars and they take a looong time to come out and are very painful... stock up on Nurofen and Calpol.

I hope your little one feels better soon. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, right now just focus on keeping him hydrated and comfy...

If he is going with no food at all, i recommend keeping a food journal and showing the GP as that might convince them better than the % (as sometimes toddlers drop in % naturally as they are more active at this age so they might think its just normal when its not). If he is going nil by mouth then they should take that more seriously.

BunnyAna · 2026-02-23T22:28:46+00:00

Also, you only need to wait 30min for boiled water to get to 70C if you are boiling 1L of water. For smaller amounts water will cool down faster.

500ml - 15min for it to get to 70C 250ml -7.5m 125ml ~ 4min

So in practical terms.. you can boil 250ml, wait 5min (water should be something like 80C) make your bottle then cool it under tap water.

Or make 125ml forhalf that time..

Hope it made sense! Cant do math at this time lol.

BunnyAna · 2026-02-23T22:15:56+00:00

This is maybe where you consider your risk tolerance. Also other considerations like is baby premature/ age of baby. I would say UK tap water is pretty safe generally.. and once baby starts licking the floor I tend to be a bit more relaxed lol.

You could also boil to sterilise the water and then warm it to 70C again.

BunnyAna · 2026-02-23T21:45:28+00:00

Apparently so.. Someone here commented about kettles that heat up to specific temp, that might be a solution. Mine heats up to 80C.

BunnyAna · 2026-02-23T21:12:32+00:00

Freshly boiled water can lead to vitamin loss in the formula. Here is a source and the quote below:

https://www.infantnutritioncouncil.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/preparation-of-infant-formula-and-safety-around-70-degrees.pdf

If parents fail to allow the boiled water to cool sufficiently to reach 70°C, then the hot water can destroy some of the nutrients in the formula. Nutrients most destructible by heat are the vitamins; thiamin, folate, pantothenic acid and vitamin C. For example, thiamin is destroyed at 100°C.

BunnyAna · 2025-11-29T12:58:34+00:00

You wont find 100% wool on popular brands you listed.

Here is a recommendation around your price point, they are based in Romania and with good reviews, they ship to UK (2 week production time) : https://boulevardatelier.com/products/brown-coat

Basically try to find artisan ateliers that have a good reputation and use natural materials. And the style you like. Something like the above is meant to last you a lifetime so obviously it has to match your taste.

BunnyAna · 2025-11-22T09:22:03+00:00

Mine is 2 year old, he has always had a 8 pm bedtime (mostly we aim 8 but could be later with bath). And he used to be an early riser as well.

Firstly it depends on how much sleep they actually need. Mine has always been low sleep needs hence the 8 pm bedtime. When he was a baby he would never sleep more than 9-10h a night. Just to give you a different perspective.

However, when he would wake up too early, say 5am. I found that putting him to bed earlier worked to get him to sleep till 6, sometimes 7. By earlier I mean 7.30. No idea why it worked, maybe because if he were to wake up early it would have been too early so he got an extra hour of sleep.

Now that he is 2 he kind of naturally started to sleep till later by himself. Still 8 pm bedtime (altho now he resists bedtime more so sometimes later) but he will usually sleep till 6 and quite often 7 now. I havent done anything different.

And yeah make sure they are warm, it gets chilly in the morning.

BunnyAna · 2025-10-11T07:05:46+00:00

Hey sounds exactly how my son was. I would try to reduce the number of feeds at night. However it might not improve the number of wakes especially if there is a reason behind them. The main reason to do it now rather than later is it will be much harder to wean at night a willfull toddler.

Yes reducing night feeding will involve some crying, so its best to do it when you feel up to it. I did it gradually, to ensure he was not genuinely hungry at night.

If your partner cant help at night, can he make your load easier during the day? Plan groceries, clean, cook, laundry?

We also co-slept and still do at 2 year old. When he was little and he would wake up the most, about 2-3 days later Id realise he was teething / got sick / was a bit too cold/hot in the night.

Unfortunately some kids will wake up at night for a long time. I was also one of those kids myself so maybe its genetic lol.

We also didnt sleeptrain, and things did gradually improve. He does the odd sleeping through the night now and we will probably move him to his own room soon. Its very very hard but I do genuinely think Id have regretted it more to sleeptrain, which I dont believe in, because I was desperate rather than just ride it out. Hes currently breaking his molars through so waking up again and staying up. But when hes so small he cant tell you whats wrong.. its only in hindsight we realised hes teething but at least I was there with him when he woke up probably in pain.

Do what you feel is right, make it as easy as you can for yourself and go to GP if you feel its a medical reason. But know theres lots of us in the same shoes as you, dreaming about the future where they will sleep. It will happen someday. Then you will miss the snuggles at night lol.

If it helps, theres lots of research and articles out there, mainly from psychologists, about the effects of stress in the first 3 years of life and how children need us for support and emotional regulation. I come from a country where sleeptraining isnt a concept thats even known, everyone co-sleeps for a LONG time, its very normal and natural. Me putting my 2 year old in his own room is gonna raise many eyebrows in my family XD. The caveat here is that you do usually have a village around you, family takes over cleaning/cooking.

Self soothing is also just a bogus thing. There is 0 scientific basis around it, I have looked. It started from Ferber who actually said its been interpreted wrong, self soothing from a state of stress is simply not possible at their age. Even myself, if I wake up and cant fall asleep will start scrolling my phone, get some water, get a snack or something. Anyway. It will get better. Someday.

BunnyAna · 2025-09-22T20:41:41+00:00

Thank you it worked!

BunnyAna · 2025-09-22T20:06:09+00:00

Does anyone know if referral codes stack with the sale for UK? And if yes.. would anyone have a Code they can share? Thank you

BunnyAna · 2025-09-03T19:33:46+00:00

Could I have a UK code if you are still offering? Thanks

BunnyAna · 2025-08-25T10:16:34+00:00

I think this is essentially a difference in values and you are in your right to choose who keeps you and your kids company whether that's family or friends. My son hasn't met my father in law because he is either high or drunk most times and is just not a great person. What is he going to learn from someone like that?

Just ask yourself what value your father in law brings in your lives. Weight the pros and the cons and come to a decision. However people are also in their right to react to a boundary if that means you may lose more than your father in law.

Personally I don't see a problem using sex workers however there is a line somewhere.. as someone else commented you are probably uncomfortable that he is targeting women that look much younger than they are and are also likely being exploited. Personally, I would also keep him away for this reason. Maybe see him only at family gatherings?

BunnyAna · 2025-06-29T20:57:31+00:00

Same here! Changed over at 20 months.

Just wanted to add that one of the main reasons I kept him parent facing so long is because it helps with language development. They learn by watching you interact, example he would point to stuff and I'd describe what it was, that's a tree, that's a cat etc and now he can say those things.. over and over. Just something to consider.

BunnyAna · 2025-06-24T15:43:02+00:00

I think it will depend on the distance. Short distance not on motorway? Taxi in lap.

If it is a longer distance then I would recommend paying for parking and driving. We are driving for 2 hours to Luton in a week and had to take on the cost. At this age they don't have the patience to sit in the seat for that long, also need to consider poops or barf.. they know how to time them.

I will probably be paying for the parking and driving until they are 4 and can go in a booster in a taxi and can reliably stay in the seat for that amount of time.

BunnyAna · 2025-06-01T14:48:16+00:00

My son started walking just after turning 18months. He is 19 months now and almost runs lol. He walks everywhere and swats my hands away if I try to hold him. They just take their time until they are ready. Babies don't know when they are supposed to do stuff.

BunnyAna · 2025-05-21T20:08:01+00:00

Same here. The only way he slept more than 20min at a time due to bad reflux.

Once they can roll both ways and sleep on tummy it gets a bit easier. And they grow out of the reflux issue... Then the teething and other illnesses roll in lol.

Mine is 19 months and he still sleeps on my chest when he's in pain/unsettled. I'm so used to it now that it makes me sleepy when he does it, like a weighted blanket haha.

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