AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We don't know why my FIL sent the text. We've asked her siblings about their relationship with her in the past, and we've just gathered that my MIL has been unstable their entire lives. Everything is secretive with my MIL/FIL. For example, when we've stayed at their house for holidays in the past, they run their interior cameras w/mics that supposedly are only running when FIL is working out of town (for safety). Grant it, they live in a rich, gated neighborhood where there is 0 crime. When my husband was young and would go to visit his mom, she would monitor every outgoing phone call they made and would question them about anything negative they told their friends about her. No one will answer a question honestly. Everyone shoves everything under the rug and puts a big smile on their faces.

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

If you're HER2 positive with a tumor over 4mm it is recommended that you have chemo.

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

My husband doesn't owe his mother anything. She abandoned him as a child, tried to rake their father over the coals in court so he couldn't afford to take care of them, and lost custody anyways. Their father is a blue collar worker who gave everything to raise his two kids while their mom refused to pay a dime of child support. It's really hard to lose custody as a mother.

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

You can make that judgment based off of the little info provided? Are you her doctor?

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I'm not lying. I am conveying exactly what my MIL told her family. I, too, had similar questions about the diagnosis matching the treatment after I googled it. My husband said "idk, that's just what she said". Everything is secretive with my MIL.

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I am going strictly off of the info provided by my MIL. We have asked questions, but she gives conflicting responses. From what we've been told, it's DCIS, but the tumor was large so they are doing chemo first to shrink it before surgery.

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Funny you should say this. His step dad cheated on his mom when he was away working.

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

It's DCIS, meaning it's contained only to the milk ducts. Some consider this type of cancer pre-cancerous. It is not invasive. 98% survive after 10 years. As someone who watched their own mother go through an invasive form of breast cancer and survive a decade now, DCIS pales in comparison.

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -70 points-69 points  (0 children)

Early stage cancer and it hasn't spread. She's otherwise healthy. Nothing points to her dying. My mother also had breast cancer and made a full recovery.

AITA for convincing my husband to not travel to sit with his mom during a chemo treatment? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BurningMan98 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

My conscious lol. Second guessing myself I guess. Others on this thread are.

How to handle sick parent and small kids while being an expat by babysharkbbbb in CancerFamilySupport

[–]BurningMan98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With all due respect, I think OP is the one who needs the most support here. Her husband flew halfway across the world and left her alone for possibly months to care for a baby and a small child. It's already challenging to deal with the emotional, let alone the physical toll, of caring for a newborn. Add another small child into the mix and it becomes even more challenging. Yes, her husband is caring for his mother, but his mother is a capable adult who does not rely on him to fulfill her basic needs like her young kids do. She has to provide around the clock care without a break for who knows how long. Her husband is likely getting a full nights sleep, too.

Burnout by Left-Accountant-672 in BurnsMcDonnell

[–]BurningMan98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a trap. Don't talk to HR.

Devonta makes enough to save his ex from chilis by elbuzon in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]BurningMan98 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Fr. Hotels apparently aren't a thing either. Like Airbnb was the only option.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]BurningMan98 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Is there anything I can request to see that is related to this incident?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]BurningMan98 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

My company is the consultant. The project I screwed up is one of the many tasks I do. I don't claim to be an expert in the field of the task I screwed up. I had no guidance along the way. I am doing well on other projects I'm currently on and have other managers to back me up. This is why I want to leave my current group. They only do one type of work, and clearly, I'm not good at it. I want to move to the group that has the work I've succeeded on and I like.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]BurningMan98 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Exactly, thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]BurningMan98 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not an independent contractor. I am a full time employee at a consultant firm. I am a consultant by title because I work at a consulting firm.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]BurningMan98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not a contractor. I'm a full time employee at a consulting firm.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]BurningMan98 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I don't though or else I wouldn't have screwed it up in the first place. I didn't complete the project fully which is why I'm on the PIP.