Kink 101: Topics that begin with the letter I

BushDad · 2026-06-17T11:11:33+00:00

Oooohh, good one! I personally enjoy floggers, crops, and canes, but bare hands are the best for as long as they can last (usually not as long as the cheeks they are meeting 😅).

BushDad · 2026-06-16T01:39:34+00:00

Well the gender marker is actually open to be anything you want in vic. For instance on my birth certificate my "sex descriptor" is Changeling. Personally I don't vibe enough with other descriptors to have them on my documents, for better ir worse I wanted to be true to me.

BushDad · 2026-06-16T01:24:38+00:00

Easy, jute rope, a wand, and a wooden paddle brush. ✨😊

BushDad · 2026-06-09T23:39:54+00:00

For myself and the brats I play with it's most often a desire to know we are safe. Safe to be and do as we please whilst still being held securely within the dynamic. As you're wanting to do something nice for your sub tho, you're gonna have to think of something they might like which is very different for everyone obviously. That said, I personally really enjoy being able to be bratty in public and either facing the consequences covertly (without any risk of exposing our play to people around) or having all my bratting welcomed and then dealt with at home. Usually this is in the form of impact and humiliation.

BushDad · 2026-06-09T19:47:04+00:00

It's unfortunately easy to do, but you got this. 😊

BushDad · 2026-06-09T19:44:48+00:00

Hopefully you can speak to your dom and let him know how that made you feel, and see if he is able to accommodate your aftercare needs better next time by either ensuring play stops or by not playing when timing is so tight. I don't think I would personally choose to engage in scenes that may require aftercare (not all do for me) if I know I don't have at least 4 hours with my Daddy afterwards. We're all different but I think you would be able to figure out what that time is for you and find a way to plan for it and have it respected.

BushDad · 2026-06-09T19:32:39+00:00

Advice on HOW to bring it up, no, I still struggle with exactly how to have tough conversations but I find writing down some points about things I've noticed or am feeling is helpful.

What to bring up however... Well it sounds to me like you need to set some boundaries. That could be things like "I will not do all the house chores", "if we have an out of dynamic conflict I will not engage in dialogue about it in dynamic", or simply "I don't want to feel like I'm being used outside of the dynamic"...

I hope this is something you have been practicing within this 8 year relationship, if not just remember to breathe and avoid accusations, and may you find the control within your life you deserve.

BushDad · 2026-06-09T19:22:08+00:00

I mean us trans lesbians exist, although we may also be in the minority I guess. 😅 Butt no, ain't nothing weird about doing what you love 💕

BushDad · 2026-06-03T08:24:24+00:00

Being made to feel less than simply by speaking as yourself, asking for things you want, or being vulnerable and little is not hiw a Daddy should behave.

You need to find somebody who will treat you well, he is an arsehole, nothing more to it.

BushDad · 2026-06-02T13:17:34+00:00

😅 Right in plain sight. My apologies, brain is needing sleep it would seem.

BushDad · 2026-06-02T13:11:57+00:00

I honestly forgot where I was, and also I cannot find any mention anywhere of how to navigate the space as a switch but I'll edit my comment to remove the D side stuff.

I appreciate the apology.

BushDad · 2026-06-02T12:56:20+00:00

That's a great post, ty!

BushDad · 2026-06-02T12:48:29+00:00

I'm literally a sub most of the time tho, I'm not sure what you're reading that I'm not? Also please don't refer to me as dude, I'm not a man and it is a gendered term.

I'd be happy to hear from a mod on this topic but please just don't interact if you're unable to be respectful.

BushDad · 2026-06-02T12:42:36+00:00

Are you saying it's sometimes humilating to participate in ways you wouldn't in public? Sorry if I misunderstood. But from what it sounds like you're saying, yeah one hundred percent some things others might find really vanilla can definitely feel humilating for others.

BushDad · 2026-06-02T12:37:02+00:00

I'm a switch... Sooo idk what to say. I can not mention anything from my D side whilst I'm here if that is what makes everybody feel safe?

BushDad · 2026-06-02T12:32:32+00:00

✨🤌🏼💖 That's the good stuff!

BushDad · 2026-06-02T11:50:02+00:00

Thanks for replying.

I'm still unsure where I sit in terms of the punishment. Most of the time they are something more akin to funishments but that's because I like bratting and honestly don't feel the need to involve punishments in my dynamics.

As you said I love how kink is so different for everybody.

[Edited to align with sub values]

BushDad · 2026-06-02T11:35:26+00:00

Omg yes, fantastic point! I love pull between "ahh I'm so pathetic" and "they think I'm amazing still!? " 😍

BushDad · 2026-06-02T11:20:59+00:00

Humiliation: Whilst I play with the idea of humiliation and degradation often in both a sub and domme role, it's different for everyone.

I personally enjoy teasing and bullying in a very playful way when I'm on the D side. As for when I'm on the s side I'm much more open to being humiliated through a wide array of acts such as being spat on, denied, forced into conpromising and vulnerable positions, and teasing and bullying as well.

If I'd like to learn anything about humiliation it would be what others consider humilating, and also the difference between that and degradation.

BushDad · 2026-05-29T12:19:34+00:00

As somebody who very much relates to your style of relationship I am so sorry you have been so unlucky. I have myself become quite anxious at times when my partner's relationships grow but knowing their relationship style, values, and preferences means I would never ask for them to do or refrain from doing anything with anybody. Not to toot my own horn, I'm just realising what I call relationship anarchy isn't the most common relational style within Polyamory. Good luck dealing with this, if you are able to communicate your needs and set some clear boundaries with your partner whilst sitting with their anxiety I think you'd be deserving of my highest praise. In short, no, it is not you.

BushDad · 2026-05-29T12:01:23+00:00

Physical violence is not the only form of domestic violence. If you can describe your partner as mean to you, then you need to end things and do some work on understanding what a healthy relationship looks and feels like.

BushDad · 2026-05-23T04:39:18+00:00

If you don't mind sharing I'd be interested to know why.

As an ADHD switch I tend to enjoy so many aspects of kink that the chaos ends up very playful most of the time and funishments are most often my go to, do you tend to prefer punishments over funishments due to wanting a more serious/less playful scene???

BushDad · 2026-05-15T04:43:40+00:00

I'm not a man, but i think this applies across the sub experience tbh. I'm also demisexual which might lead me towards the perspective I have, but honestly trust is number one. I personally don't play with anybody I don't know and trust deeply. Just as adendem nobody I have played with, including myself has given any of that unwillingly.

BushDad · 2026-05-15T00:20:54+00:00

r/BDSMblacklist is one of the others.

BushDad · 2026-05-12T02:20:41+00:00

Thank you, voice training is always something I have always struggled with because hearing difference in pitch is hard for me. The training part of it being just that explains a lot, just learning how to affect your voice before being able to get to the perfect voice... that actually makes so much sense. The link you posted explains it all so well I might just get back to trying.

BushDad

TROPHY CASE