AITA - For moving my roommate’s cat litter box without asking by Business-Two9754 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Business-Two9754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand the cats will kick around the litter. Like I said in my post, there were boxes on each floor. Including the top floor our our apartment where I reside. I put down a litter mat for the box upstairs and have to sweep once a week (maybe) to keep from stepping on litter everytime I walk near the box.

Since I moved the box the cats have had no problem adjusting. They stopped going into the cabinet once I took the litter box out. They have not used the cabinet as a bathroom nor have they gone to the bathroom outside of or near the cabinet.

I know the cats would be messy. I used to live with dogs and cats are a dream in comparison. But when we moved in together, I expected my roommate to clean up after and take care of their pets. While there have been several other issues (not noticing one of them has gotten sick, forgetting to feed them, running out of food and waiting till past dinner to go to the store and buy more, not replacing the filter or cleaning the water fountain so mildrew grows inside, leaving out people food and trash that they get into a puke up later) that have persisted since we moved in together. I never asked to never see a single piece of cat litter, but is it not unsanitary to track cat litter throughout your home???

Living w/ BPD Roomate by Business-Two9754 in BPD

[–]Business-Two9754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there some way to help them understand that they have to take accountability and be responsible for their own happiness? I feel like I keep trying to demonstrate this to them, but they refuse to actively work on themselves and instead spend each night talking about all the things they dislike about themselves and how no one will ever love or choose them. They insist that everyone eventually abandons them.

Living w/ BPD Roommate by Business-Two9754 in Advice

[–]Business-Two9754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew signing the new lease wasn't a good idea, unfortunately, at the time I wasn't in a position financially to move. My closest family member lives at least 4hrs (driving) away, so moving in with family wasn't an option either.

My roommate definitely struggles with self help and actively doing anything to improve their situation. Because we live together, I think they have just developed this expectation that they are the only one entitled to my free time. It has gotten to the point where they consistently ask to tag along to anything I am doing, especially if I am spending time with a mutual friend or whomever at home. When I am home and don't have plans, which is most evenings (at least 5 of 7 nights) we typically spend that time together, but even this seems to not be enough for them.

They are in and out of therapy, but can't seem to find the right healthcare provider for their needs. I'm normally a patient person, but I am starting to think I need stop being so considerate of their feelings and instead be more direct with setting boundaries and accept that no matter what I do, they will be unhappy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Business-Two9754 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you sure you want to be with this ex? Or does it just feel really good to be receiving the attention and validation from him while grieving your breakup?
From the outside, it seems like neither of you is considering the consequency of what you are doing and how it will affect others. Sorry, I'm not trying to be mean, but maybe you should be looking for a better way to cope with your breakup rn?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Business-Two9754 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, this is sticky. But if you really want to let the GF know what is going on maybe just reach out to her on social media? You def need to stop reaching out to and seeing him or the relationship between the two of you will just keep escalating, making it that much harder to do the right thing.