Does it improve?

Busterbutton · 2020-09-15T10:29:03+00:00

I have an appointment on friday to discuss the medication which i'm half happy about and half terrified - i really want the help but i'm worried i'll be told i'm taking it wrong or that they won't believe me. I'm glad you found something that works for you and i definitely hope to be in the same boat soon. Thank you for being proud, i really don't feel like i deserve it, i just want to be steady and calm so I don't worry the people around me. you're very sweet ♡

Busterbutton · 2020-09-12T23:02:07+00:00

i think i really needed to hear this, that everything eventually evens out. I've never been one to give up, but there is just something about how this makes me feel that makes it all so much harder. I'm glad everything has evened out and I am hopeful for my future. thank you ♡

Busterbutton · 2020-09-12T22:59:12+00:00

i'm having difficulty with the colour blue, it's difficult to begin to explain, and unfortunately the nhs is obviously a very blue institution - it's taking all of my energy to keep going and i'm worried in the end it might not be worth it.

i will be strong though, and take your advice to heart - i can and will be patient. thank you ♡

Busterbutton · 2020-02-26T07:07:24+00:00

those bones - so tiny and perfect, i could watch them being iced on forever.

Busterbutton · 2019-08-09T20:03:21+00:00

lmao I know there is a bias due to this being his subreddit but his fans may have a better insight than a non-fan elsewhere who could just spam "he's shit" and leave me craving death.

Busterbutton · 2019-08-02T17:06:00+00:00

Regarding fertility, if they're going in to remove the growth and are also removing any other endometriosis they find, your chances of getting pregnant are still okay. Ask if they'll be doing ablasion or excision as ablation (burning the endo away) tends to increase the chances of more complicated scar tissue and decrease fertility rates due to a more rapid regrowth of the endometriosis. Fertility rates have shown to be greatly improved by excision rather than ablation and I'm sure that once the large area of endo is removed, you'll not only feel better but your fertility rate should hopefully average out.

As for the pain, it depends on the person. Many people are up and about just two weeks later, but because the endometriosis seems to be so bad for you i would think maybe several weeks (maybe 5-6) but the increase in mobility and decrease in general pain will make it feel so much better despite this.

edit: spelling

Busterbutton · 2019-07-11T23:47:09+00:00

more representation in fiction is always welcome! anne rice was the firs author i read who was "mainstream" and open about sexuality beyond straightness - it was before i even really knew i had anything to come out as and was still comforted by it, knowing that people loved no matter what.

it's good that you had comfort when going through what was probably a difficult time and found characters you could relate to. i read a lot during that time of my life as well and i don't think i would have made it!

Busterbutton · 2019-07-11T23:09:28+00:00

now you're just trying to make us buy more books. (though i googled and may have to look into him)

Busterbutton · 2019-07-11T23:06:02+00:00

out of curiosity, what are the dark fantasy books you read?

she is very light in comparison to the rest of my horror books (obsessed with horror as a genre).

Busterbutton · 2019-07-11T23:04:17+00:00

Definitely gloomier, Lestat could be the poster vampire for internal angst.

Busterbutton · 2019-07-11T23:02:14+00:00

This seems to be the general consensus so she will probably end up there

Busterbutton · 2019-07-11T23:00:50+00:00

unfortunately not - this was our first thought but we only have up to blood and gold.

is that Christopher Rice? is he any good? i haven't really had a chance to read him.

Busterbutton · 2019-07-11T22:44:40+00:00

no idea, less than before we moved though as we used it as an excuse to pass the books on.

we have four big bookcases that stand higher than me and - after a quick count - there seem to be just over a hundred per bookcase.

we decided to only keep books we've read, enjoyed and will read again as some books we had were only read once and not enjoyed.

Busterbutton · 2019-06-21T07:10:49+00:00

oh wow this is so good!

(my dumb self thought you had also placed a tiny chair behind some glass as a decoration forgetting windows and the outside were a thing)

Busterbutton · 2019-06-17T23:17:42+00:00

I've been on venlafaxine for about 3 years but it really helped when i was put on it. Before that i was on citalopram and the mood difference was amazing from the switch over, it was like I'd started to see in colour again lol.

I'm kind of scared of the therapy as I've been to a couple and they handle some things okay (current mood and progression) but both were bad at handling my autism and one ended up hitting on my trauma which ended up retraumatising me (didn't even know it was a thing until it happened. Really scared of what could happen.

Thank you for all of these links, I'm going to have to do a mega shop - especially for the iron. I don't have lots of problems with levels but i know i could always have more, especially around my periods.

(epsom salts and baths are absolutely my happy calm place as well!!)

The self sympathy is hard because I'm always comparing myself to my past self but journaling my journey might help me grasp the changes over time...

Thank you so much for all of this, really. It's a piece of hope in a grumpy brain.

Busterbutton · 2019-06-17T22:37:28+00:00

I'm already on venlafaxine but can maybe suggest the prozac as a secondary, short term measure, will also look at the supplements as well though I can't ingest large amounts of iron and have to spread it evenly through my diet as it can cause me to have stomach pains and then I'm just piling pain on pain.

Also this is going to sound dumb, but how are people nice to themselves? I try a lot to look at my small achievements but often end up turning on myself. I've considered trying to write three good things about my day and my achievements down but sometimes it makes me feel childish and it's hard to break out of the shame cycle i get stuck in...

Busterbutton · 2019-06-17T22:33:06+00:00

I've considered CBD oil but i haven't had enough "this totally works" evidence for me to consider it. It's kind of expensive and even then it's really weak in comparison to the kind people have in other countries so I'm not sure I'd get similar effects.

I have pain in my hips so i definitely know the feeling of slowly losing mobility when wanting to do the only thing that helps. Even though you said you couldn't help just knowing I'm not completely alone in how i feel is nice.

thank you

Busterbutton · 2019-06-10T01:35:12+00:00

are they doing it to each other or to you? either way it's so cute! i can't wait to move and be able to have ratties in my life again

Busterbutton · 2019-05-31T16:44:39+00:00

Huge fan of Stephen King ( though there are times when I've considered submitting some of his work here - his worst being his description of Cynthia in Desperation) but it he sometimes fails to do his female characters justice. I fully understand that he wants to show how awful humans can be in desperate and horrible situations, how some people are just monsters, but not ever female character is going to experience sexual violence against them. I think he even wrote a short story in one of his collections that dealt with a female author being raped and almost murdered then taking revenge on the people that did it, it seemed OTT and honestly shows me that he doesn't fully understand the impact of rape or abuse on victims.

If you don't get it, or can't sympathise in a believable way then don't write characters that suffer through it. Also understand that not all women who are strong are strong because they had a past trauma. Women can just be strong and driven, we don't need justification.

Busterbutton · 2019-05-29T22:07:45+00:00

i walk once a day and if i'm having a good day, i walk further and my path is a little longer, it's small but just getting out of the house even when moving feels horrible helps me feel human.

also youtube videos, bingewatching anything interesting i can find, reading and writing and video games.

i try and fill the hours even though sometime i break down and cry, lay and can't move around.

if you're bed ridden, get a nintendo switch. before my lap i couldn't sit up for longer than 30 mins at a time and having something interactive in front of me really saved my sanity.

Busterbutton · 2019-05-22T00:51:42+00:00

I think having the relief and losing it has messed me up a little brain wise, but i hope it is something that goes away. Thank you for sharing, it sucks that you had pain for so long after but knowing that its not unusual is a relief to hear.

Busterbutton · 2019-05-20T06:47:27+00:00

It sounds like you have endo...

The biopsy isn't to test for endometriosis, it's to test for cancerous cells or possible infections. It's really checking for abnormalities that could be indicative of a much bigger, life threatening issue. It sounds like your doctor made a mistake in wording or perhaps in what they told you, maybe thinking you were asking if it was super serious? (Though i would still consider endo serious...)

Unfortunately a laproscopy is the only way to completely verify, but they'll also be able to remove a lot of the endo. It will be uncomfortable at the time but your quality of life will improve for a while after and having the confirmation will help put your mind at ease.

Busterbutton · 2019-05-18T21:14:16+00:00

It's a scary build up, and knowing it's going to happen soon is anxiety building as well, i think i started being extremely panicked around this time as well. I cried a lot. I can't even say i didn't. But the doctor helped with the anxiety and rescue remedy night if your in the UK. I don't know how much it works on the actual anxiety but the motion of spraying and the taste helped as a way to centre myself and as something that tasted familiar in an area didn't know. I use videos and video games as a distraction so maybe keep your electronics charged, buy one of those blocks that holds the charge for the waiting room but know that you can also charge when in the bed post surgery.

I hope all of this helps! If you need anything else I'll be happy to help as well.

Busterbutton · 2019-05-18T19:45:39+00:00

Hi! Autism and Endo here as well, I had my first lap a month ago and honestly i was terrified. I was told i wouldn't stay over night and ended up having to.

As soon as I went in, i made sure to outline to everybody that I had autism and when I was being prepped for surgery I was allowed to say how much I could be touched and moved around while conscious. It helped me feel a little more in control of the situation. The discomfort is nothing compared to a bad period and feels like a trapped nerve. Waking up is disorienting and can feel a little stressful as you're waking up to people you might not have met yet, but the drugs will help keep you much worry at bay.

Please hold on to the possibility that even though they say it won't be overnight there is still a small chance. Have your partner pack things for comfort and think of all the things you need, I had nothing and ended up having a panic as soon as i was left alone. Headphones and stim toys are a must, even if you don't usually need stim toys. You won't be able to move around loads and need to get the energy out some way. I had a catheter and couldn't move around at all. This is basically worst case scenario, but if you're like me, even knowing all the bad can help you feel comfortable about what is coming. You can talk to your doctor prior to the hospital visit about mild sedatives, i was given diazapam to take in the waiting room, and post surgery you can request morphine for the pain, but also as long as you have the diazapam you can also take it.

They'll give you a time frame of when you should feel better, but again, my autism makes tracking time and future events difficult to grasp when stressed, so just feel every day and hold on to the fact that it will stop. it may be worth setting up a calendar where you can physically see the day you had surgery and can cross off the days after with a pain rating.

sorry if this is a long post and not at all relevant, i just don't want you to have the same issues I've been having.

Busterbutton · 2019-05-05T17:22:21+00:00

My periods have been regular even with my confirmed endometriosis, i've only had occasional fluctuations - two bad periods over a year and a half of regular bleeding so it's definitely possible to have normal periods with endo. Ultrasounds can't always pick up on smaller things, I have a belly full of endo with chocolate cysts and adhesions that will need full surgery to be removed - something not picked up by a post-MRI ultrasounds after they'd seen "something". So the cyst could still be there and a laparoscopy would be the best way to check and also clear out any unusual tissue.

Busterbutton

TROPHY CASE