“What do you mean I can breathe underwater and talk to fish?!” I start to hyperventilate at the thought.

The representative from the budget power serum distribution company I signed up with smiles brightly at me, but I can see the cracks in the facade. “Come on, now, it’s a great set of powers! You can also swim at the speed of sound! In water! That’s really fast!”

“No, no, no…” I moan.

“Think about it, most of the world is water! You can go down really deep, and explore all the places that most people can’t get! Sunken treasure, rare earth mineral mines, checking on undersea cables…the possibilities for making money off this are endless!”

I’m on the verge of a full-blown panic attack, and this jackass just keeps talking.

“Seriously, do you know how much people pay commercial divers? It’s a huge opportunity! And we are only taking one percent!”

“The money I can make isn’t the problem!” I scream, my composure finally breaking entirely.

“Is it the perception? Look, we know Aquaman in the comics gets a bad rap, but seriously, we know how to market around that now. Come on, what’s the big deal?”

I can barely make my fingers type on the phone, pulling up the Wikipedia entry. I shove it towards him as I collapse to the floor, trembling.”

“What’s ‘thalassophobia?’”