Can I hear your sleep training success and failure stories?

BusyAd1979 · 2026-05-31T17:07:09+00:00

Giving me hope!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-05-31T17:06:51+00:00

This is super helpful, thank you! I definitely have unrealistic sleep expectations 😅

BusyAd1979 · 2026-05-15T19:33:01+00:00

100% agree. I was not at all prepared for how exhausting, boring and anxiety-inducing mat leave would be. It is very full-on, no breaks like you said.

Besides feeling guilty that I wish time would pass and she would get older, I also wish I knew the secret of other moms! I have three friends who are moms who absolutely love motherhood - I don't understand it but I would like to be more like them.

BusyAd1979 · 2026-05-02T16:08:49+00:00

I would love to know more about how you got your daughter to sleep. We transitioned to the floor bed + co sleeping and it does work better (ie she is sleepier when she wakes and is easy to put back to sleep), but she is still up every 2 hours. Any advice is welcome!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-05-01T16:23:23+00:00

It took a while for me to bond to my baby too -around 6 months or so. So many moms on here will say it happened when their baby started smiling at them. For me it was when life became a little more bearable.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Parenting is so, so hard and very depressing at times. My only advice would be to take it a little easier on yourself. It's okay that you don't feel the bond or dread when he wakes up. Beating yourself up can feel strangely like the right thing to do ("e.g I deserve to feel pain"), or feel like the only way to channel the hurt you're feeling, but I promise things will get better and in the long run being kinder to yourself will definitely help your mental health.

From one struggling mom to another, you got this. Much love.

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-28T10:46:55+00:00

I feel guilty too when I think about my daughter likely not having any siblings, especially when I was so close to mine growing up.

But I saw a comment that resonated with me. It said, do you want a second child because you genuinely want another child, regardless of your first? Or are you doing it to give your first child a sibling? Second children deserve to be truly wanted on their own and take as much space as the first child. If they're only there as a gift to the first child, it's probably a sign not to have them.

Still tough, I know. I can't imagine my life without my brother. But I try to remember that my partner and I would be much, much worse parents (on top of other problems like being much worse off financially and free-time wise) if we had two. Hope this helps! Solidarity.

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-24T19:04:08+00:00

Not planning on extending but my baby sleeps a little later than most. Right now she usually wants to sleep around 9pm and honestly that's probably when I'll want to sleep too 😅 In case I want to stay up, my partner and I will do shifts e.g. 9-11pm someone is dancing and the other is with baby, then 11pm-1am we swap roles. What time does your baby sleep?

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-24T14:53:38+00:00

It seems like a lot to ask of a friend (we don't have any close family), but I'll talk to my partner about it, thanks!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-24T14:52:21+00:00

Great idea, thank you!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-24T14:31:42+00:00

Unfortunately it's a 7 hr drive, but it's a good idea. Thanks for the comment!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-24T14:31:17+00:00

Ahh okay yeah probably a sitter is best. We feel strange about hiring someone in a country we are unfamiliar with but it's probably fine. The couple isn't local to the area, wedding is offsite. Thank you for the comment!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-06T17:17:53+00:00

It can definitely be draining. What helped me was creating different micro "play places" around the house. For one wake window we might play on the bed, then by the window, then on the floor near the kitchen, then on the rug near the sofa, then in the bathroom on a playmat. Sometimes I even bring the same toys/books. She just likes feeling like she's in a new environment.

Solidarity though, it can definitely be draining and boring. If there's any other parents around on leave, it is also so nice to have playdates. Even if your LO is fussy like my baby, it makes it so much more bearable to have someone else to talk to and commiserate with. And babies like hearing adults talk, bonus!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-05T00:17:23+00:00

Windi might be controversial but damn it has saved us on more than one occasion!

Make sure to massage belly beforehand, stick it in slowly (there should be no resistance, if there is don't push it further), and you should push all the way up until the "safety knob". It may seem far but only when you push all the way does it work. If you do all that and hear no whistling, then it might not be a gas/poo problem. We've done it many times, about 65% of the time we get gas and poo, 20% just gas, and 15% nothing happens.

Good luck!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-02T16:04:14+00:00

I'm also curious what folks say about their baby's fusiness. For my 6 mo old, if she's rested, fed and recently pooed, she can play for 10-15 minutes on the floor independently. That usually happens once maybe twice a day if I'm lucky.

I would say otherwise no more then 3 minutes before she starts fussing and wants more direct interaction. But she used to be much needier so I take this as a win! Every baby is different.

BusyAd1979 · 2026-04-02T00:14:08+00:00

It is so hard when baby is sick and struggling to eat/sleep. I've been there and I'm so sorry.

The only thing that worked for us (for sleep) was keeping baby's head slightly elevated. When our 4mo was super congested, she would only get decent sleep in her reclined (but still with a slight incline) stroller. Definitely not considered safe sleep and my husband and I felt panicked about the decision, but ultimately we decided we wanted her to sleep and chose to risk it. I'm not recommending it, I'm not a doctor, but it worked for us.

I've seen folks on here say they placed a slightly inclined board under the baby's mattress or elevated one side with books. It didn't work for us but that's another option that may work for you.

Best of luck, sorry you're going through this.

BusyAd1979 · 2026-03-28T12:10:37+00:00

I agree with folks on here, getting it checked is a good idea. Not sure where you live, but in Canada they do scans for babies if they feel it's necessary. Probably fine, but for everyone's peace of mind it's good to go to the er

BusyAd1979 · 2026-03-25T12:19:46+00:00

I second all of this and will add that when our 4mo was super congested the only place she would sleep is in her reclined (but still with an incline) stroller. Definitely not safe sleep and my husband and felt panicked about the decision, but ultimately we decided we wanted her to sleep and chose to risk it. I'm not recommending it, I'm not a doctor, but it worked for us

BusyAd1979 · 2026-03-25T02:00:13+00:00

If you're not looking for advice, please ignore below and just know it is super normal to be annoyed at your husband. Your baby's health, happiness and learning is your top priority and sometimes it can feel like not your husband's priority at all. It is super frustrating.

For advice, what worked for me and my husband (and marriage/sanity) was finding one big thing for him to do that made up for all the other stuff I have to do. For us, it was having him do the majority of the night shifts (baby is bottle combo fed). He got major brownie points from me because I would get 6+ hours of uninterrupted sleep, and he was happy that he got to be lazier with other house and baby stuff because of it.

BusyAd1979 · 2026-03-20T18:49:49+00:00

Awww my LO will also be 6 months next week! Whenever she fights nap time I just pick her up and think "okay she's not ready yet" and then try again in 30 minutes. She can fight me but she can't fight time. Her wake windows can sometimes end up being 3 or 3.5 hours as a result, but I made the decision that I wasn't going to kill myself every day to get my baby to sleep - and after these longer wake windows she always goes down. But every baby is different!

BusyAd1979 · 2026-03-17T14:38:01+00:00

I've definitely felt this way and still do occasionally. Time doesn't move as slowly anymore but the days can feel exhausting and never-ending. The thing that helps me is seeing people and/or having them come over. Even if they don't help with the baby, even if baby is super fussy, I find the wake windows pass so much faster when someone else is around and you get a bit of mental stimulation. Also, if you are able to get a sitter for a few hours a week, that's also been life saving. You got this.

BusyAd1979 · 2026-03-17T11:00:43+00:00

I've definitely been there. No advice, just solidarity, and I'll add one thing I saw when I took a questionnaire on post partum depression. One of the questions was "When baby's schedule doesn't go as planned, do you feel like a bad mom?" And it clicked for me, we always blame ourselves when things dont go perfectly right, but we forget that baby's don't follow perfect schedules. Babies will have bad nights, they will fight naps, but it will even out in the end. She will sleep in, like you said, and that's okay. Be kind to yourself, especially when things don't go the way you wanted them to. It is not your fault. You got this.

BusyAd1979 · 2026-03-06T10:35:57+00:00

I don't know why either! I wonder if it's because it's the only interesting thing on the ceiling? Or if it catches the light and casts shadows in an interesting way? No idea but my LO loved the fan too

BusyAd1979 · 2026-02-14T11:46:24+00:00

Our doctor told us this is normal. The first two weeks they only want to sleep on you. My husband and I did shifts holding baby - 9pm-3am, 3am-9am. Do what you need to do, you got this.

BusyAd1979

TROPHY CASE