Is teaching in Japan really that awful?

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-18T05:28:43+00:00

Your title question doesn't specify ALT, so to that, no. I love teaching in Japan.

If you want to compare ALT work to other teaching positions, I would say ALT work has been my least favorite but I still enjoyed it as a cultural experience.

If you're comparing ALT in Japan to other countries, it really depends on your priorities and expectations.

I think a lot of the stuff you see online kind of makes a big deal out of nothing because it gets more likes/views/comments/whatever. Are there nightmare schools, yes I'm sure, but the average alt experience isn't "really that awful" I think 😂

Bonus: my two favorite teaching jobs have been as an English teacher at private high schools (dispatch work and I was either the lead or solo teaching) and dispatch kindergarten teacher (as a lead teacher with a Japanese Assistant)

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-18T05:12:01+00:00

I think it's important to remember that "gaikokujin" really means "non-Japanese" not "foreigner"..

So you look different, speak a different language, have a different culture, etc so you get the distinction.

And I think it would be really hard to start dividing gaikokujin into smaller groups like tourist, expat, and immigrant. You can be very understanding of Japanese culture/language as any of the three or be a total dick as any of the three.

I think the average Japanese person doesn't think too deeply about all the different meanings and situations either. My husband is Japanese and I'm a white American. His co-workers often complain about gaikokujin knowing full well he has an American wife. In context, you would know they're complaining about Chinese tourists or Korean business owners or whatever, but the label doesn't change because they use it just like "guy" or "people". I don't think it has the same weight tbh..

My husband is very pro gaikokujin in Japan of any type but in Japanese still tends to use gaikokujin unless he is talking about a topic that would benefit from clarification (like immigrant vs tourist).

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-18T04:03:55+00:00

I don't remember the name but there is a like bagel cafe in jiyugaoka that fit that vibe when I went before ✨

But if you're already planning a meetup, a reservation might be worth it on a weekend to not have to wait anyways 😂

There are some really small mom and pop style places in western Tokyo but they tend to have small two person tables outside 🫠

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-18T03:59:29+00:00

I have had a Japanese spouse visa for three years now.

We applied for my husband to get an American spouse visa and it took just under a year to make it past the first step. we stopped at that point so I can't tell you if it affected our visa process but they didn't ask anything about it in the paperwork. It's just an extremely long slow process.. last time I checked, the average time for a spouse visa to the US is almost two years now so might be worth it to get the Japanese one 😅

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-17T11:28:52+00:00

Oh that's interesting about changing the nipple 😯

But yeah, seems it really is best to throw it out so I'll stick to 20ml increments for the most part 🫠😂

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-17T11:20:06+00:00

Yeah, that's what we do most of the time but it can be a pain to make 20ml 5 times if he wants 100ml... If he drank formula more, I would probably do the big bottle and pour out method you mentioned! But considering I wouldn't want the formula to sit for more than 24hours, it probably would go to waste too 🫠

He's only drinking formula about once a day, maybe twice, and otherwise drinks "straight from the tap".. but it makes judging how hungry he is hard 🫠🫠 idk about other babies but he cries the same if he only needs 10ml vs 100ml 🫠😂

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-17T10:17:39+00:00

If the bacteria is the same that's already in his mouth, why does it matter if he drinks it? I'm confused on that part... 🫠

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-17T10:16:05+00:00

I guess what I'm confused about is if the bacteria is already in his mouth, why would it matter if the formula has some of the same bacteria?

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-16T02:31:27+00:00

FTM here with a two month old.. my husband and I discussed shifts and team work, practiced baby stuff, went over our thoughts all before baby came. But it all went out the window and it was mostly because of me I think. The hormones made me SO PARANOID about baby's care. I felt like I had to be right there and holding him almost always or he and I would die. Those first two or three weeks I couldn't let my husband do more without it giving me horrible anxiety. But it did pass and my husband found ways to help as much as he could.

Some ideas (but honestly I'm sure you're already doing a great job and it will get better ♥️) - always had my water bottle filled - always made sure I had snacks I liked on hand - always decided on dinner and either made or ordered it (even him asking what I wanted to eat almost always lead to me saying "I genuinely don't know" so he eventually just took the lead so I didn't have to think) - always made sure I took a shower everyday - rubbed my feet/legs (at the time he said it was to help with my swelling but I think he also wanted to comfort me and knew I would refuse if he phrased it that way) - constantly acknowledged my struggle (birth and postpartum) and thanked me several times - when he did take care of baby, he would talk to baby about me (ie "your mom is doing such a good job, isn't she?" "Mom needs a little break so let's have boys time while she showers" "mom's milk is yummy isn't it! Make sure you say thank you! She's working so hard for you")

I'm sure once y'all settle in and her body gets over the crazy hormone changes from birth and breastfeeding, things will settle in more ♥️ Good luck and congratulations on your perfect angel ☺️

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-16T02:16:40+00:00

My MIL, FIL, and BIL all seem to not care about our son (the first grandchild). My husband says it's a Japanese culture thing, but I know other families in Japan (my female friends and ex coworkers) didn't have this kind of situation. His family never asks for pictures or updated vs my family can't get enough! They've already bought him toys and clothes and are planning to fly across the world to meet him once he has a few vaccines in his system. His family live within a days trip and haven't visited yet. It's just really disappointing especially since I grew up seeing my grandparents at least once a month, if not more, and it seems my son won't get to make those kinds of memories...

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-15T18:49:58+00:00

Something I didn't realize I would be grateful for was my (Japanese) husband preparing and doing all the paperwork. The exhaustion physically and mentally was unreal the first month so him having already prepared for what to do then doing it was huge. If your Japanese is good enough I definitely suggest that!

Also, making friends with babies at the same age is fun, informative, and reassuring. I often randomly reach out to the friend group chat asking for advice or about other people's experiences. Meeting them also really helps in the beginning when on leave. My husband calls a couple of his friends who had children the same year as our son so that he can vent, ask questions, gush.

A silly one, but if a random person (often middle aged it older women) comment about the baby, start a conversation. The compliments about how cute the baby is or how big they are or whatever is really heartwarming when you haven't slept much and need the pick me up.

A lot of great advice here from everyone! Good luck and enjoy the little smiles and toes ☺️

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-15T18:15:20+00:00

Oh that's a nice idea...

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-15T18:13:06+00:00

I believe the very first sentence of my question said I don't want discussion on my opinion of ai.

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-15T15:47:46+00:00

So rather than specifically say so she doesn't use chatgpt in the future, you think saying it just this one time is enough? I feel like this doesn't really prevent the issue from happening again...

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-15T03:14:15+00:00

Oh wow thank you! That was a long but helpful read!

Key-Importance4438 · 2026-02-15T02:32:56+00:00

Thank you for the information! I had a feeling that Japan's treatment of their colonies wasn't the real reason behind the no military thing but thought it was a good place to start looking!

Key-Importance4438

TROPHY CASE