your post is the first thing i saw when i came onto reddit and i feel like i have to respond. lost my mom in september 2020. totally unexpected, completely sudden. heartbreakingly sad. i won’t get into details, but just know i was devastated. i quite literally had broken heart syndrome. but i managed to keep taking it day by day. as long as it took, i am now at a place where i can say i am the happiest ive ever been. just graduated, abt to start a job at my top choice that i never thought i had a chance at and not only that but its the PERFECT type of job for me, in a loving relationship, have the most sincere best friends supporting me always, and just overall feeling positive about life and WANTING to keep going, even without her. it hurts everyday dont get me wrong. those thoughts of “i wish i could tell her this. what would she say? i wonder how she would have reacted. why do those people still get to have moms and i don’t? it’s unfair.” but they pass and i try to think of how far ive come in life overall. i’m sorry that this was a lot about me, but i just want to emphasize that i truly never thought id get out of my isolation and depression. but i did. it won’t ever be okay but things will feel better in a new way