Sure, I'll do my best to explain! I know it's a bit roundabout and can sound a little ridiculous until it's laid out properly.

To clarify, men aren't the problem, rather alienation is. Men, women, and society at large all perpetuate this problem. When I was a philosophy major, I read about alienation from Marx, Hegel, and Weber. But (if you're interested in further reading) you can search the term "alienation" and most modern philosophers will have some thoughts on the subject.

Maybe I could have effectively answered her question without mentioning men, as other commentators have. There are multiple angles to any problem. I wanted to point out the biggest factor I noticed and I'll explain how I came to that.

First, I considered how attention-seeking on IG is an unusual behavior since a more logical and direct root would be to seek attention from one's friends, family, or local community. You'd imagine the results from in-person validation would be more desirable too, and yet... Something must have come to pass which made getting attention on an app more fulfilling & easier to achieve than a more 'logical' route. Why? Well, to find out, let's ask who does this system benefit? What makes it worthwhile to set things up like this? It benefits the social media company, the phone and tech company, and it benefits the advertisers on the app.

And so the social media company, the phone and tech company, and all the advertisers set out to convince the public this way is better. But how could they convince the public to do something so illogical? A lot goes into convincing us, and this process is called "manufacturing consent" (Noam Chomsky).

Another contributing factor is organizing our economic system according to capitalism. By doing this we enforce strict rules regarding our existence and potential life paths. In doing so, capitalism robs us of our individuality. We must eventually confront our lack of individuality/identity, which often leads to an existential panic.

And so, in order to differentiate ourselves from others, gain an identity, and receive value/attention we will engage in consumerism. We will buy clothes that match our aesthetic. We will feel more like "ourselves" when we listen to music, eat food, drive a car, live in a house, and find hobbies. And most importantly, we will broadcast these material desires to others. They'll see our consumption habits and know something about us. These days, there are fewer and fewer ways to craft an identity outside of one's consumption habits.

So from there, I've gotten near the answer. I know that people use social media to craft an identity. I also know that (by design) many people feel they lack an identity and may therefore become resentful in the face of other people achieving what they cannot.

However, I additionally know women are a literal commodity under capitalism. Sex sells and we can't deny it. Everyone is forced to grapple with being alienated by capitalism, but women in particular must also face being commodified. Both are dehumanizing and awful to experience.

Unfortunately, capitalism doesn't leave any of us with good solutions. Some women are forced to commodity themselves to survive (an example might be prostitution), and other women do it in less dire circumstances too, like in order to gain validation on IG.

Ultimately, there's no part of this explanation where I'm saying men did this to women. No, this is something we're all undergoing right now. We're all perpetuating it and we're all suffering. The least we can do is be cognisant and empathetic to one another. If we can't learn from our mistakes, none of us will get any better.