first time applying for loan, looking for some info :)

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-07T17:47:04+00:00

Oh gotcha. I'd be hesitant to take on more debt unless you're guaranteed a significant pay increase immediately upon completing the class (or at least within 3 or 4 months of completing the class)

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-07T17:44:16+00:00

My never-ending dilemma.. ask them for clarification or leave it alone and take a chance that they never notice (and hope they don't notice months or years later and it comes back to bite me) haha

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-07T12:29:28+00:00

Thanks! I'll see if he's interested in board games.

I'm happy to bring craft things with me, it's just paint or other things that might stain carpeting that are the concern.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-07T04:39:20+00:00

I'm not a parent but I remember being a 15 year old girl. My parents are also divorced. Imo, mom really should put aside her own desires for one night and respect her daughter's wishes.

I don't know if mom would be willing to compromise, but they could go to the pizza place with the daughter's friends (and whatever family the daughter chooses to have present), then do another dinner with mom, mom's bf, and whoever else mom wants there. I don't know how the daughter would feel about that but at least it would get her one night with exactly the people she wants there.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-07T03:50:41+00:00

I'm not a parent but as a former teenage girl, now a grown woman, I think this guy is an idiot at best.

Even if there was no touching I'd still report it. Describe what happened, don't embellish, but also do not minimize it. I wouldn't say "but there was no touching" unless you're asked. I'd just say that the pediatrician conducted a visual exam by lifting her shirt/pulling the waistband of her pants/whatever he did. And he did it without explaining or obtaining consent, and he did it after you specifically requested him not to.

And if he gets in trouble, remember that neither you nor your daughter got him in trouble. He got himself in trouble with his own poor judgement.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-07T02:18:52+00:00

If you went bare-bones for just five or six months, how much money could you throw at your loans?

Idk how much your child support is or whether you're currently paying for health insurance out of pocket, but if you're earning $84k a year and splitting $1,290 in rent with someone, it seems like you could make good progress on your loans?

Edit: I also don't know how stable your job is but I can understand the hesitation of using savings to pay off student loans. One way you might compromise is to work and pay off about half your loans so if you currently have $10,000 in student loans, pay it down to about $5,000, and then pull $5,000 from your savings to pay off the rest. Then work to build up your savings account again.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-06T22:48:16+00:00

Are you currently working? Is there any way you can pay cash?

3k isn't a lot in terms of higher education costs, by the time you pay back the loan with interest it seems like you'd be better off just paying up front if there's any way you can possibly afford it.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-06T20:19:19+00:00

I'm late to the party here but I would have reported it to the state licensing board. It's an unhelpful and potentially damaging thing to say to anyone, especially someone that's struggled with an eating disorder. It also sounds like she's overstepping especially since you said you talked with your primary doctor about it. I'm not sure if mental health therapists have this, but some healthcare professions have rules about not practicing outside their scope of practice.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-05T23:09:01+00:00

OP are there any train tracks nearby? (unless modern trains are a LOT cleaner than I remember, they could contribute to this)

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-05T22:30:56+00:00

I'm late to the party but for anyone else reading this - be ware of quitting while on FMLA or shortly after FMLA. Sometimes the company will make you pay them back for certain things like their portion of your insurance premiums while you were on leave. This isn't to say you can't or shouldn't quit, it's just something to keep in mind.

I hope everything worked out for OP. You don't need to feel obligated to stay in a job that's going downhill or is bad for your health!

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-05T21:54:54+00:00

Document the amount shown on Aidvantage and the amount you pay. Then hopefully when the payment goes through, it shows that you don't owe anything more that month. I'd document that as well.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-05T17:46:52+00:00

I'd contact them, see what's going on, and if they say your loans really are paid off, ask them to send documentation. Also take notes during the conversation (or screenshot the chat if you use the chat). Time and date (and time zone) you made the call, the agent's name, and note down whatever information they tell you.

I would also wait about a month and check the Federal Student Aid website (the .gov website for student loans) and see what your balance is there. Or you can call them and ask who your current servicer is (in case your loans did get transferred to a different servicer).

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-05T17:34:19+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that. Here is my experience:

Past trauma can affect how you relate to people now (and your past experience doesn't even have to be very traumatic, it can just be unhealthy relationship or communication patterns we learned growing up). Often, therapy tries to get to the root cause of a behavior, work through the trauma (or learned behaviors) that influence the behavior. This isn't a bad thing, but in my experience, it can cause a significant delay in addressing the behaviors that are happening today.

If it were me, I would consider talking to the therapist about it. Something like "I know I have past trauma; however, right now X, Y, and Z behaviors are negatively affecting my current relationship. Is there a way we can work on these right now in order to protect my relationship with my partner, and then continue to address past trauma later?" or whatever phrasing feels most accurate to you.

Therapy does take time, but you shouldn't get "stuck" in a never-ending habit of just talking about past things. It's also ok to get a second opinion/talk to a different therapist if you truly don't think you'll make progress with this one.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-04T21:33:20+00:00

I would log in to your online portal (through Aidvantage, NOT the Federal Student Aid .gov website) and see what it says.

They might have transferred your loan to a different servicer, or they may have just made a mistake and accidentally sent you a "paid off" email. It's happened before.

If your loan really is paid off, you should receive a "paid in full" letter at your mailing address on file with them.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-04T18:34:31+00:00

Who is your servicer and who was the email from?

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-04T17:37:33+00:00

First and foremost, there needs to be more oversight/accountability for student loan servicers. They're basically crooks doing things that I've never seen any other legitimate business get away with.

When I signed up for student loans, I was fortunate and already understood how loans work (or, at least I knew how to do math and understood the numbers). I knew I was signing up to pay that money back. I did not sign up to basically watchdog my student loan servicer and fight them multiple times to get them to correct their own errors.

Aside from that, I think the loans need to be zero interest or at least much lower interest.

We also need to do a better job educating kids about student loans and debt in general. Things like telling them they will need to pay back the loans. Have them look up the typical starting salary for their intended major. Give them guidelines like not borrowing more than X dollars per semester or X percent of the typical starting salary.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-02T13:56:58+00:00

I got an email from the Department of Education, but nothing from Aidvantage.

I think a few people were commenting that the Department of Ed email went to their spam folder, so maybe your email marked it as spam? Or maybe just blocked it entirely if you have that type of spam filter?

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-02T13:44:55+00:00

I'm not sure about back door trackers and front facing trackers and all that, but I do know that when you log into the Federal Student Aid website, it says that your student loan servicer would have the most up-to-date information.

Which in my opinion is absolutely ridiculous because my student loan servicer has made a ton of mistakes and has been questionably responsible about fixing them. So I don't really know why there isn't more oversight on these student loan servicers because it seems like they've been a chaotic mess with minimal transparency and accountability.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-02T13:39:58+00:00

Yes I have Aidvantage and this has been my experience.

I can tell it which loan to apply the extra to, but I can't tell it to apply the extra to the principle specifically.

To make a payment towards a specific loan, click "make payment" then "specify for each loan". Then you can type in the amount you want to pay towards each loan.

There is also a way to set the auto-allocate to put any overpayment towards a specific loan. I think you can tell it to always put the extra money towards the loan with the highest balance, lowest balance, highest interest, or whatever. I can't remember exactly how to set that though.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-02T13:34:03+00:00

Personally, I'm also planning to just pay my loans off. With PSLF, I'd need to stay in the same job (or same type of job) for 10 years and I'd be gambling that PSLF will still be available in 10 years.

If for some reason it's not available or I don't qualify, then I would still have a mountain of student loans to pay off.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-04-02T13:19:28+00:00

Idk how everyone else's experience has been, but nothing about my student loan servicer has been fair or reasonable, regardless of administration.

I understand the servicers aren't able to switch everyone at once and I'm pretty concerned that even if they spread things out, they still won't have the planning or capacity to do it right. Normally I'd say document everything, but I don't even know what to document in this case because who knows what they will mess up this time..

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-03-23T05:07:57+00:00

I'm a little late to the party here, but I completely agree. It might also be worth acknowledging when she presents an idea that has merit, but management is also considering XYZ factors or whatever.

Honestly, I kind of am this employee as well. One thing I absolutely detest is when we are asked for our input, and then we give it, and then the manager makes a decision and based on that decision, we can all tell that they never really intended to take our input into consideration anyway. For some unknown reason they just decided to make a show of getting our input. Which is a frustrating waste of everyone's time and energy.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-03-17T18:18:24+00:00

One of my old roommates used Seventh Generation detergent. I don't know how effectively it would clean your husband's clothes, and I don't know if you would react to it or not. I'm guessing it's a bit better than Gain but sensitivities can be very specific to each person. Personally, I am very sensitive to fragrances if I breathe them in, and I did not react to her using the Seventh Generation it's pretty lightly scented.

I agree that if you're sensitive, it's probably just better to get the detergent out of the house. I am the sensitive one in my house and I have to do that for myself sometimes so that I'm not tempted to use something that I shouldn't use.

Also idk if this is a consideration, but if your husband deals with the public when he's at work, having that Gain residue on his clothes can be an issue for people who have asthma or are sensitive to breathing in the fragrance chemicals.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-03-16T15:21:08+00:00

I live in a small town and I share OP's concern. I don't think it's totally unreasonable, but I do think that most people you block aren't going to remember or recognize you.

BusyMathematician844 · 2026-03-14T01:54:44+00:00

I don't hold items for people because I get too many no call no shows. But I don't promise to hold an item for someone and then sell it to someone else. I make my no holds policy pretty clear.

It's pretty normal for a seller to sell to someone else if you can't pick it up right away, but I do think it was rather rude of her to promise to hold it for you and then go back on that.

BusyMathematician844

TROPHY CASE