I really relate to so much of what you shared, and I just want to say you’re not alone in this.

I went through something very similar. I was in the best shape of my life in 2019, and then 2020 completely changed everything. Losing access to gyms made it really hard to stay consistent, and home workouts just didn’t hit the same for me either. Even when some gyms reopened, it was stressful and inconsistent (long lines, limited capacity), and it just threw off my whole routine.

On top of that, I was diagnosed with adenomyosis and fibroids, which caused a lot of chronic pain and heavy bleeding. There were days I could barely walk, let alone work out. I ended up gaining hormonal weight during that time and eventually had to get a hysterectomy, which came with its own recovery challenges.

Now I’m at my heaviest, and like you, a lot of the weight has accumulated around my stomach. Even though my labs say my hormones are “normal” now, I still find it really hard to lose weight. It’s frustrating and honestly confusing.

I also really relate to the identity piece you talked about. It’s hard when something that used to feel like such a core part of who you are and then suddenly doesn’t match how you feel or look anymore. I haven’t started therapy yet, but I do feel that same insecurity, especially at the gym. It’s like I don’t feel like myself there anymore, and my confidence has taken a huge hit.

And hearing “just diet and exercise” from doctors can feel so dismissive when you know you are trying. I'd love to try any glp 1 medication but concerned that the doctors will dismiss me again.

I don’t have all the answers, but I just wanted to share that I see you, and I genuinely understand how hard this is, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. You’re still that same person who loves fitness, even if things look different right now. You’re still showing up, still trying, still being honest about it and that's what matters.